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 Nov 2015 Abdul Broekema
Samantha
You've got stars in your eyes
And dew drops on your cheeks
You wake every mornin'
At a quarter to three
In a valley somewhere
You decided you needed to be

And you never call me
But I still hear your voice
Like ghosts on a stairwell
Just making noise
And I cannot let myself dwell

Cause if I stay too long
I just might drown
in the space you left
In the chatter around
My heart beats in time
To the records you played
But I'm still all alone
At the end of the day
Unless you can count your ghost
1/4 of a song maybe?
.
.
.
.
.
The above 20 lines are in invisible ink
It took me all day, tell me, what do you think?
Our boat starts at night
from the beach of Yen Kuang.

Great ships sail only for profit
Only small boats come here because of your fame.
The passers-by are embarrassed by your virtue.
So in the night we steal by the place where you used to fish.
You have heard it said that
A rose is a rose is a rose is a rose
But truly I tell you that
I am that I am that I am that I am
Dripping with Jehovah and stardust we fell to earth
Pieces of atmosphere pieced together
And who can trace the mythology of our chemical compositions
Or rewrite the narrative of our anatomies?
I fell to earth soaked in Yahweh and covered in snakebites
Black holes where the fangs sunk into the astronomy of my freckled skin
All the galaxies of my body each with their own elliptical orbits
Connect the dots to form two wolves in my milky way
Romulus and Remus –
My ******* bear venom white as the purest lamb
Whisper astrology and
Remember the day we built Rome by stacking corpses
Remember the day when all the stars burned red for us
But that was millennia ago and
I’m not your Venus anymore –
I’m nobody’s ******* Venus anymore
It was the age of Pisces and we came out drenched in Messiah
You found me picking painted roses on asteroid planets
With a blonde-haired child and a fox
In the garden green snakes and white roses
Thorns and soft pink ribbon-tongues
Fangs and velvet petals
Two drops of blood in the white sand like Mary,
I bore a son and named him Ares
I named him Mars
I named him Set
Boys will be boys will be boys will be monsters, you know that
I am that I am that I am that I am.
Swim down deep enough into the black waters and you’ll reach the heavens
Keep drawing blood from thorn wounds and you’ll drag out the atmosphere
Stare out intently into the abyss and the abyss will stare back into you
These are the things we knew
When we reached the outer boundary of the cosmos
And realized how hydrogen is nothing but celestial amniotic fluid
We, motionless
Smothered by God and Carbon and perfume and poison
In this ****** we named universe
On this fetus we named Earth
I am that I am that I am that I am
Truly with you until the end of the age
Until the afterbirth of star matter gets tossed out with the baby and the bathwater.
You have heard it said
A rose called by any other name wouldn’t smell as sweet
But truly I tell you
A rose is only as beautiful and fragrant as its thorns are sharp
And if you want to know what fills the space between protons and electrons
The gaps between breaths
The light-years between planets
Then listen to the sound of your own heart beating
Counting down the gestation period of our own reality
I am that I am that I am that I am
I’m more than a Rose.
Spending nights off in
Bars or back at school
Spending nights off
Laying in bed sad and alone
Going out at my own expense
Paying no mind to my
Bank account or rent
Spending my breaks
Smoking out half a lung
Worrying more if I have money
For cigarettes than for rent
Coworkers and family ask
If I have a girlfriend yet
I tell them I don’t have
The time or money when
Really, I don’t have
Confidence
November is my birthday
I’m turning twenty-two
I’m feeling twenty-blue
 Oct 2015 Abdul Broekema
NV
01:52 am
have you ever asked yourself like why you so lonely?*

01:53 am
or empty?

that maybe you give too much of your essence to people and never leave any of you for yourself

01:55 am
i know i do

02:05 am
and like that's maybe why i get so attached to humans

because in them,
i find myself


02:07 am
i need to change, because things shouldn't be this way

02:10 am
but it's hard sometimes you know, when most days you don't leave the house because you feel unworthy of the space you take up

02:16 am
so you'd much rather disintegrate into soil because you've become all too familiar with people stepping over you and admiring the outcome of your beauty but never the roots of your pain

02:19 am
i spend so much effort watering people in order for them to grow and hardly get enough sun shine to feed my own soul

02:25 am*
because i don't know how to do anything else but care for everyone but myself
Another urn filled with ash.
Spirit steamed, left with trash.

How did that one leave so fast?
Is it worth trying to be the last?

Up turned lives for 6 weeks.
Raw, reddened salty cheeks.

Full, half then empty glass.
Oh, what a beautiful glass!

How the light breaks through it
Scattered rainbows, raised spirit.

Cheers!
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