How could I love a person like that?
Unwanted
Undesirable
Ugly and fat.

Misshapen and all wrong,
So weak.
Their problems drag on.
Foolish and gullible.
Naive and selfish.

I person so uncaring,
with words so harsh.
Dramatic and foolish.
I know I should try,
But it becomes harder and harder...

How could I love a person like me?...

Today,
True beauty was shown to me.
I prayed for it to be,
And now all I've seen,
Is beautiful.

The light streaky clouds,
So indescribably miraculous.
Impossibilities floating in the sky.

A smile of a child,
The laugh of a baby.
So happy to see,
But one person...
Me.

Feeling so important.
Feeling it's right.

Lucky, for I see
That today God showed to me,
But some, of life's true beauty.

I lie awake
I can't sleep
I want to
But I don't want to
I want to dream of you
But then when I wake
It was all a lie
You don't care
You won't be there
What do I do?

I want to fall asleep
But I hope I don't wake up without you.

The world is dark
cold and
shallow
Yet still deep enough to drown in.
And you expect me to step into it willingly?

How do I love you so much?
My dark heart,
Is filled with hate...
You cracked my heart.
A light is leaking.

Thankyou.

It was too much,
life was too much.
So I made a shell,
I locked myself in.
It was safe,
warm,
secure.
But being alone in that shell so long, made the lock become distorted.
Now it won't unlock,
and I can't let anyone in.
It's a nice shell,
but sometimes,
just sometimes,
it gets lonely.  
I guess I'm just waiting for someone to break the lock,
I want someone to set me free in the world.
Though I may get scared leaving my shell,
someone will help me understand this scary, ******* up world.
And someday I can do more than survive it.
I will live in it.