Mum,
you have been there
literally -
from day one
still handing out love
from all I have done

A mum
who is my mother
my protector
my carer
a strong shoulder
that never grew colder

Yes,
It may be once or twice
I set the pace,
like wild mice
In a race,
yet somehow
you always managed
to keep our home
nice and safe

Now,
I have a family,
a place of my own
and if I can be
half the parent,
you were to me
than my boy will grow
to be quite a man-
won’t you agree?

Where do I go
how do I start
what do I do
with this broken heart

I feel so alone
like an empty city
a broken bone
full of gilt and pity

I often wonder
if you felt the same
I’m still here
me and my shame

There is no fire
without any flame
clouds turn to thunder
its only me who’s to blame

I lay in bed
Staring at the ceiling
Watching the shadows
Appear from my head

You are the scar
That doesn’t quite heal
Like an open wound
Which I can still feel

Where are you now
Out there on your own
In another world
Where you can’t be found

It’s ok to smile
even though
It’s been a while

This lonely old life
no man or woman  
no husband or wife

We live alone
when the children
leave home
our pets
become babies
as we sit
on our own

At night I reminisce
of loved ones
that I miss
those who aren’t here
are the ones
I hold dear

My hand feels
empty
my heart gives
plenty
while my soul
cries
gently

You are the girl
That I once knew
Who wore shiny clothes
With brand new shoes

You are the girl
That had piercing eyes
Which told a story
Spoke a thousand lies

You are the girl
An angel from heaven
What came to earth
But never learnt her lesson

It’s a crazy world but
Somebody has to live in it.

My poetry
flows a certain way

I sculpture words
from the finest clay

The verses you hear
are thoughts we play

These lines I write
leads my pen astray

The tone I use
shows the darkest day

Behind each meaning
gives beauty they say

There was a girl  
I once knew

She had these eyes
That would play
The perfect tune

Where in time
Showed me
This world
From a different view

Who I came to love
So dearly,
It ran deeply
Through
And through

This tiny world
I own
I tread this
Lonely stone

The moment you left
The room turned blue
My mask came off
Your words spoke true

If we didn’t
Meet that day
There wouldn’t be
Much more to say

For every hour
I spent longing
Your face
Is slowly going

Why am I here
While you’re
Way over there

I hope you feel
Like how I feel
My heart is broken
Nothing is real

Wherever I go
You follow

Im an autumn leaf
Flying in the wind

A beaten pebble
Washed up against the shore

If my words
Could really paint

Your portrait
Would say it all

A worn out memory

Which simply

Will not fade

I’ll be at home
Waiting
By the phone
Wandering
If you’re out there on your own
Watching you,
Drifting off to sleep
Knowing full well
You’re the one to keep

I’ll be missing
Your loving soul
Thinking about
Your tender
Caring role
If there’s anything
I could do
To put things right
between me and you
I’d turn the other cheek
Wash all the bad memories
Down the creek

I’m hoping
When you wake
A fight doesn’t want to take
You thought you’d choose
A better bloke
Over time
Your love for me
Sadly broke
Today
That’s all I got to say
I kneel down
And I start to pray

The way she drinks, it irritates
The way she eats, It irritates
The way she yawns, It irritates
Even when
she’s on the phone, it irritates
Like a coiled spring
when sprung it f** vibrates

There’s always one
Who gets left behind
It may be,
You, me,
Her or him
As most are -
An empty shell,
A ghost,
An envelope
Lost in the post.

It’s a lock down a shut down
An epidemic pandemic
It’s more serious than Ebola
They call it Corona
Once it was isis
now it’s a virus
causing a crisis.
God bless the medics
Doctors and nurses
Let’s get back to Business
Is it a conspiracy,
A fever, or simple allergy
We don’t want your gold
We need more...flour.

Every time I shut my eyes
I start to see
The real me
The one who God
Intended me to be
Be, just be
Don’t be me
Or he or she
A fake or a phoney
Take for example...The!
The ripest apple off the tree
Whoever you see-
It’s not just for you
But also for me,
Be the one who
You have been
Put here to be
Forever,
Internally
Finally
Time to live free
That is the key

Why did that last look
outweigh all the memories.

Last ever words were
                  “Whatever happens
                    Please don’t go off
                 with any of my friends”

They hear the laugh
They see the smile
Meanwhile sadly
Reality is torn in half
This old ship is sinking fast
Struggling to gain composure
I got to hang on to this mask

Throughout my life
We often joked,
I have the tree
he has the rope,
He would laugh
I would laugh too,
Acting all cool
But only laughing
Half the way through.

I never had a dad
But I had a man
who often said
“well done lad!”,
Who only came home
At weekends
To sleep in
A different bed.
My mum who in turn
Got close to her mother
After my father
got up and fled.
I mutter these words
like I still suffer
Oh, how I looked up to him
The big man
The big don
The preacher who tried
But just was a big con
He had a special way
With his uncontrollable eye
For every type of Barbie
To an average looking Cindy.
Yes he is my father
But not my very own dad.

I can do sarcasm
I just can’t deal with it.

In a rare moon
I dream of you
To hold you
feel you
to lay next to you
When I awake, my cheeks are numb
maybe.. this could be, the last time..I see you
Oh, how I do miss you

There are no words or verse
I could choose or use
To show I know
That you are the one
Who should always come first
If only I could live up to this
And not have days
Where I think of myself
Oh my dearest love
If I could only change the above
To write about the birds and the bees
Butterflies and trees.
I never imagined,
To have a woman who’s a legend.
You are my hero a girl in a million
I am the man sometimes the villain.

Diagnosis- Perfectionist
I wish I was a perfectionist
Oh really?!
Do you know-
I tell them today-
Google it!
Is it good to be a perfectionist?
Living in fear of failure permanently,
Depression,
Severe!
Google also -
Claim shorter lifespan-
I only hope and pray to God
Who ever wrote it
They are a true perfectionist

Whenever I write
You’re never too far in sight
Such an innocent girl
Always being noticeably polite
I made a promise to your mum
On that very first night
On the phone telling your brother
She was ok, she won’t be back late
That I’ll be bringing her home
You will be doing alright
Many months later
We were to be
Buzzing like a fly
flying around like a bee
Spending hours on end
Underneath the great church tree
Playing our game
Without any shame
Saying my name
Getting lost in the sky
Being more lost
Within each others eyes
How you would look at me
This is how It shall always be.

If all I need to do is try
I will never fail

My dear,
Those tears are filled
With hundreds of stories
And thousands of fears
Skin has grown wafer thin
From one broken heart
Over many years
A life long scar
Which never disappears

You haven’t done it wrong
You’ve just lost your way.