Crooked streams trail off as she fell beneath the waterfall
What seemed like hours were only seconds
Howls drowned out by hollow winds in a deep silence
Distorted voices speak loudly to her subconscious

She thought she was ready
But the consequence of having a good man got to be too heavy
So wrapped in her own head
She did what any scared woman would've did
She ran from that good man
Back to the arms of the kind of man she was comfortable with

Public speaking no thank you I'll pass
The thought of being an orator makes me laugh...hysterically
Undoubtedly
Even if I wanted to speak publicly
My body wouldn't allow me
I think my voice would disappear and my tongue would atrophy

If you listen closely
You can read my mind
All it takes is effort
All it takes is time

Theoretical problems
Social validations that never pass
Quantifiable shapes over gaps that never fit
Thoughts on any and everything
Self-created problems that never exist

Old lovers I'd like to see again
Different me(s) I'd like to be again
Since the beginning will never be again
I'm giving newness a chance to begin again

I didn't know love was made to feel like this
If this is what God intended for love then I raise my hands and rejoice in pure bliss
Surely He knew my heart when he granted me this one wish
To love and be loved unconditionally
To experience a love with the Holy Spirit and yet remain me

All my life I've dreamed of meeting a love designed with no lies
No deceptions
A love made alive
Made just for me
Once I found this charity I'd cherish for all of eternity
But life didn't seem to dream the same manner as me
Then just as I gave up looking for love
A greater love found me
Caught off guard it touched my heart
It softened something that once was hardened
My eyes became blurry
My arms wouldn't move
I couldn't fathom the words that came from my lips
It felt as though an angel came from heaven and gave my soul a kiss

I know my heart has lied before
But now it speaks truth
Ways of life brought forth by changes made to heal the places I’ve been hurt the most
In essence my very being was being tested
By the sweetest effervescent
Intertwining my soul with a spirit not of my own
Feelings of pleasure my heart has never known
Endless emotions with my minds thoughts driven like waves in the ocean
But I ignored them

A long tear streamed down the face of the once proud arrogant prince
He who had all the answers in his youth has since aged and the stage he finds himself at is
Packed with riddles that leave his thoughts crippled by simple questions like
When was the last time you were happy
Sounds kind of sappy but the gravity of the question
Created a sort of hesitation in his thought process
That left him confounded, dumbfounded
Drowning in the recess of his own ****** analytic mess

What we see with our eyes at times
Is a manifestation
Of what's going on our in own minds

Control is an ism
A psychological mechanism
That binds you to whatever it wants you to do
As long as you lack the inability
To see responsibility
As anything other than someone else telling you what to do
You lose
Trying to prove you're in control is a losing game
Because the only thing you truly control
Is the fact that you refuse to change

Kissing never lies
It tells a woman everything she needs to know
About the kind man your are inside

How we treat ourselves
Is the tenor upon which we represent ourselves
The hell that raised us
Doesn't have to be the hell that sustains us
We are blessed to have our own minds
To choose the course we want for our own lives
Our course was meant to be a horizontal one
And it can only be undone by the One who called us to be his daughters and sons
We are not judges
We weren't put here to condemn
I believe it behooves all of us to leave that for Him
And while we may disagree whole heartedly by someone else's choices
What right do the rest of us have to be disrespectful and poisonous
We may have taken the traditional route and even made our lives better
But to make light of someone else's LIFE
Does little to make any of us better
It makes us lesser
Because in the end we are all the same
And we are all just one bad decision
From sharing the same blame

We're connected
Infected
Like the walking dead
Helplessly drawn by each other’s scent
Memories unlike of what life was like before the time we spent
Close yet so far apart
Its evident cupid ****** us
The moment he hit us with that poisonous dart

Fighting against the current of my escape
Something grabs me and drags me
To a paralytic mind state
So heavy a weight
It feels like death's foot on my face
With all I can muster to get away
Gasping I suffocate
Apnea
Drowning me in rapid descent
Someone please wake me
I feel my spirit's ascent

Comfort exists within these walls of isolation
Safety and insulation from outside infiltration makes for quiet and peace
Providing silence to the noise distracting us from being who we really are
Perceptions and other peoples expectations for how we ought to be
How we ought to act
How we ought to believe
It all does nothing but weigh us down
Nice guys become ******* when they're tired of being pushed around

I’m standing
Waiting for my big break
Faithfully
Waiting for fate
To meet me
At this crossroads of clarity
Waiting while I bear my cross barely
Giving all that I’ve got
My soul's ready to give in
Closed door after closed door
Rejection from there to here
Down my cheek
Streams the first of many tears
I wonder if fate even knows I'm here

The ultimate hamster wheel of societal
Do's and don'ts
Manufactured fronts
Hallowed hellos
And awkward goodbyes

The possibilities of logic and hope
***** by liars and theives
Nature's reproach
The likelihood of making it to that house on a hill
Is unlikely when reality gives no real options
It demands you sacrifice everything you got just to survive
Potential unfulfilled an existence contrived
Life is the most engineered of games
An array of chess moves with the same conclusions
Babies having babies believing they can be good mothers
Prisonors phoning home in hopes of reaching their kids from behind that glass
Disillusions won't allow them to see the forest past the trees
And with instability neither with their seeds
Pictures are worth a thousand words
But if genocide is all these babies see
What else do you think they gon' grow up to be

Innocence
Trapped in the night
In the wilderness searching
For the meaning of life

Sometimes in my consciousness
I feel very little confidence
Feelings of low self-esteem
I continually have to fight against

Time to burn my black book
Time to miss my old flames
I've fell in love with the woman
That I'm giving my last name

What more is there left to say
For a while it's been this way
The love and happiness we had is gon'
We can no longer this house a home

Im over it
Stop trying to cover it
Just admit
You're a no good
Lying
*******

No longer a need to understand why
Failing continuously but continuing to try
Dreams change as the world revolves
Age shows you who you really are

There’s an inclination to hold my tongue
But something inside of me says
Tell her what she wants to hear so she doesn’t run
That kind of thing
That kind of thinking that has me undone
Is the very thing that has me doing things with you
That with no other woman I’ve ever done
I you shouldn't tip your hand before the cards have been laid
But the more I contemplate
The louder the voice in my heart states

In what I feel
Despite how it looks
Be still
It says if you have the will to risk the ending
So I can have it in the beginning
Truth will reveal

You and I are one even
Just as Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden
Lay your head on my chest
And you’ll hear not only mine
But you’ll hear the Heart of God beating

It reminds me of you the most
A sweetness that swells in the smell of a rose
I can't put my finger on it
But it feels like...
the Essence of your intellect
the Harmony of your cleverness
the Strength of your confidence

It makes me want you more

Like an orchestra noire
Playing a melody
That keeps me standing
And clapping
“Encore!”

It lets me know you're real

An indistinguishable signature
Beautiful & Nameless
It’s the core of you
I like to call
Fragrance

Sci-Fi loving
Movie watching
Poetry writing
Education pursuing
Socially reticent
Pain filled
Overthinking
Romantacized
Gym rat

How do you deal with the after effects
After tragedy lights a match
And blows your entire life into pieces
The anger and sadness you feel
As you hurt and yearn for the thing you loved so dear
Embracing pain is a deep revelation
A manifestation of meeting emotions
Tugging at your heart strings
Hollowed screams
Whispering
Offering stillness
To quiet your broken lamenting heart

They hate me
Without cause
All for their own
Righteous applause

The reflection you see in the mirror
Is the real you
If you can't stand to look at
Whats staring back at you
Then you know you got some work to do

Surprise
There's no such thing as a free ride
Network Marketing is a desperate attempt to convince you that rolling the dice is the best direction for you and your family
They offer you debt disguised as shiny toys and prosperity
When really they're selling you wolf tickets and crooked investments so they can rob you legally
They'll rob you blind and have you ready to blow your brains out from the depth of disparity
Their only interest is taking your money by any means necessary
They're master manipulaters
Hoping to take everything you own
Everything they say is a loada' of crap
Give no time listening to their speeches
They're just well dressed bums begging for change
They'll tell you
The only way to get ahead of the game is to reach in your pockets and pay for knowledge only they know about
Look at my whip they say, look at what I'm dressed in, look at me
You too can be a millionaire for free
Free as in...if you want the new car and clothes
Its going to cost you a small fee

I thought daddy’s loved their little girls
Well not mine
My dad hates me so much
He won’t even make time
I sit alone sometimes
I close my eyes
And ask God why me
I hate the song "Dance with my Father"
Because it reminds me
That my father doesn’t want to dance with me
I suppose I’m not good enough
Not skinny
Maybe if I was pretty
Maybe if I were smarter he’d accept me
I wonder what it would be like
To have my father protecting me
Maybe someday
But right now
I don't think I'll ever understand
What it truly feels like to be loved by a man

I thought about you so much today
I truly missed you all day today
I love you more each day I’m away
Before I sleep for you I pray
I wish you more reachable peace today
I wish you unspeakable joy today
I wish I could be with you to say
I’m sorry for what I did yesterday

I've seen beauty before
But yours has a distinction
Like different hues
Of the same color blue
In you
I see the fashion of God's artistry
Beneath the contour lines
Beautiful brown eyes
Lies this unique balance
Its like I'm looking at the quintessence of beauty
Where confidence and intelligence inhabits
It's obvious your outer thing
But it's your conversation I find interesting
The breath of fresh air you bring
I find irresistibly refreshing
Experience tells me
Attraction ain't supposed to happen this quick
Because there’s always this sense of complexity in the mix
When dealing with male female relationships
But the feeling of transparency I get
When we spend time
Is on par with the newness I feel
When I look into my daughter's eyes
So indeed
If we decide to cross the line
That which lies between time
And this finite rhyme
I believe would tell of a not too distant future
Existing between you and I
With the sky as our outline
And in between an endless bounty
I'm convinced there is nobody
More perfect for me than you
And if you give me the chance too
I will prove the same to be true
There is no man on this Earth
More perfect than me for you

True love lies somewhere between rage and serenity
The antithesis of anonymity
Exists on the paved roads of pain filled memories
Lodged amid warm thoughts
Childlike fantasies
For women it’s a strong masculinity
For men it’s an infinite dependability
On a woman who is both a nurturer and a lover
A best friend when there is no other
A confidant
Someone who’s shares
And keeps the insecurities of your thinking buried deep where no one can find it
This person carries a light so high that no one can outshine it
In a life where we are born with no favors
No waivers
That lessen the life lessons of the environments we live in
Like God forgave yours
Give your heart a break
Let love make amends for the sin of the world
And those that hurt you
Those that hit you
Those that abused you
While wrong
I pray you let me sing you a song that heals you
And fills you with a joy that you cannot explain
A love that confounds every theory and excuse you have not to love again
No matter how you found it
Or whether you deserve it
What matters now is that you are worth it
Love rests in the pain we live through
And the connections we seek
Tales of unrealistic expectations are lies we place on ourselves to be strong
But really make us weak

If I could sing u a song
I would sing you my soul
Of all the women
In all the houses
There is no doubt that this is my home
This is where I want to be
And this is where I belong
She can spend all day
And offer all she likes
But if she aint you
Then she aint my type
You see
I like strong women like
Phenomenal women like
Black women like you
While there exists this cynicism among sistas
That all the good black men are taken
It’s just untrue
Because I’m standing right here
And I’ve been waiting on you
You don’t know it yet but you've been waiting on me
That thing that you wrote in your diary God let me see
So while I may seem unfamiliar when you look at me
The only thing I see when I look at you is destiny

How did you sleep last night?
Was it pleasant?
Where do you go when you sleep?
Is it heaven?
If history says the perfect number is 7
Then so too
God’s perfect letter
Must be...
U

A rose blooms with no provocation
The morning rises not out of obligation
And like the rose and the morning with no hesitation
I want to express my appreciation, for you being in my life

Like a house is not a home
This world is but a room
This body a tomb                 
Until words give it life
I will not wake ‘til you tell me you love me
Not until you rest me in your curves
A real woman knows that God didn’t just give her power between her legs
But he gave her power in her words
By its very definition and meaning
The nature of a woman’s totality
Completely warps a man’s mentality
The effects of fear that extends from society stay
Only becomes reinforced when women begin to stray
And say things that tear us down to our very core
Like a sickness or malignant sore
Your words have the ability to makes us soar
Or  to bring us to ours knees
These words are simply a metaphor in order to get you to see
That we need you
To see past the foolishness the world puts us through
And we’ll continue to endure so long as we can put you on that pedestal where you and our children can make it through
And so I say to you:
Without so much as a tear
I will lie here
Content to die here
Until I hear
I cannot live without you
I will never doubt you
I trust you
Our children
They need you
I could never replace you

I am precious
Beauty flows out of me like water
Your idea of who I am is beyond useless
I belong to my Father
And he thinks I am wonderful
He tells everyday
His word anchors my confidence
I'm beautiful because he says I am
I don't care what you think of me
Your opinion matters not
You try to convince me its cold outside when it’s not
I’ve got my whole life ahead of me
My future is so bright
Negativity is the dimmer of dreams and Love lights my path
I will never let you steal my self-esteem

Lovely…lovely…lady
You are the answer to my lonely
Heart--Come fill this hole in my soul
I long only for your sweet company                                        
Turn down the volume on your parade
Follow me along this serenade to soothe the aches of life’s humdrum
Come to the edge of the shore and swim with me to a place where the pain is no more
In this world of Euphoria
We'll drift into each other eyes
And dance to sounds of NO work and ALL play
The days will be filled with nothing but beautiful backdrops of white clouds and blues skies
And I'll stand and watch the sun reflect off the cornea of your beautiful brown eyes

The Rembrandt of my dreams come to life
It should feel wrong that this moment feels so right
....But I could stay awake...in this sweet surrender (in my best Steven Tyler voice)

Whether in mind or reality  
Wherever I can have you
I’d rather for better than for worse
But if by worse means is the only way I can have you
Then my direction is resolute
My course separate from you constitutes being back at one
Lonely, yearning for my lovely
Imagine a heart without blood
Air without lungs
Me without you
That’s life without love
And who wants to live in a world like that
Unattached from behind a wall
Life without love isn’t life
It’s a non existence without consequence
No, that’s not life at all

The great need for forgiveness is an order of life
An adage of reciprocity
That lies and thrives on our own cynical  behavior
The finiteness of our lives tells us that perfection escapes us
Emotionally as humans we're complex
Flaw-full creatures of an imperfect nature
Finding every reason
To mount our opinions and judgments on others so we can escape our own dread
By calling someone else's life
The night of the living dead
We see ourselves as clean instead of the filthy people we are
Because it allows us to see everyone else's trouble more easily
But are we not all troubled
Have we not all in our own ways
In our own minds
Each of us at different times
Needed God to rewind
Or fast forward past time
So we can get past that thing or two
We don't want anybody else to see
Or is it just me
Am I the only one
Who's book of life is chapter after chapter full of God's grace
Am I the only one
Who's hand God gave when I was **** near in my grave
You look down on others
But when it was us that were scathed
Did he not show compassion
And grace
And mercy
And love
And peace
Salvation
And kindness
Forgiving someone isn't all of a sudden suffering from a case of blindness
No, it's a change of the heart
Spiritual mindedness
Where the focus is about putting anger and bitterness aside
Forgiveness is not having to hide
Many people feel they’ve been so wronged
Angry for so long
They hate the world
And don’t know why