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I looked at the woman in front of me,
I asked her, "How can you love me so deeply?"
She smiled at me.
A smile much brighter than any pearl I saw.
She answered, "because your from me. inside of me, you lived for 9 months."
And tears suddenly fall from my eyes.
 Dec 2016 Simone Alivia Gentry
kj
the most terrifying moment in the world
is to step into a love that pre-exists your soul
for the fear of crumbling the condition of dependence
whispers into the plausibility of a broken bond.
you can't hold others to the same standards that you hold yourself. you'll be disappointed.
I find myself saying this more and more often now. Maybe I am more pretentious than I thought...
We used to sit
in your bedroom
and climb onto the roof
after midnight, creating stories
for the constellations
that we sometimes drew—

The day we met—
you brought me cake
with the word “Happy”
in green icing;
how it filled the following years—

The drawings we made together,
hung on your walls;
Lego rocket ships
and video games
played until we
would watch the sunrise
from your rooftop—

Picking blueberries
with your mother,
our stained fingers,
the bag that burst
in the car;
the upholstery, soaked,
smelled of them for weeks—

That summer
we built a treehouse—
you fell off,
broke your arm,
and I wrote
of your Icarian shot at flight—

The camping trips—
the time we saw an eagle
land not three yards before us,
and the picture you drew
from memory that night—

The day you moved
to New Orleans—
we sat on your roof
the night before,
trading treasures:
my notebook of our stories;
your box of our drawings—

The letter you wrote,
eight months before
you left this world,
says you love the art
but hate the artists;
you once told me
“life is art,”
and sometimes I think
I know what you meant—

Now I wonder
if our constellations
befriended you,
and if you watch
with them and draw
pictures of me,
as I still write
stories of you.
Here I've found some dusty knots
I forget how they were tied
I wish I'd written diagrams
So I could break them when I tried

Instead I left them tangled up
So tight I'd pulled the lines
'til every one was all the rest
Each one another entwined

I pushed, I pulled, I clawed and bit
Each of the knots held strong
And now I know why here they stayed
Hidden away so long

I'll box, I'll hide, I'll stash away
Once more without a trace
But deep inside I'll want to know
Why I tied the **** things in the first place
Tied like strings
Across the shoes of time,
Are the vocal chords of my soul.

Distress travels from my tired heart
To my lips,
Pinned open,
Through which silent screams erupt.

Ravenous for compassion and love,
I deprive myself of food and contact.

I am alone,
Save the company of my physical being.

My body speaks
But I cannot

For if I do,
Not only will the knots come undone
But as will I.
Trying so hard
to straighten things out,
straighten myself out.
to untie,
unravel,
untangle.
all of the knots
in my stomach and
in my chest.
Life
is always leaving me a mess
leaving me broken
leaving me tired.
I'm sick of trying
to untie,
unravel,
untangle.
all of these
stupid
knots.
He thinks of another way
to tell her he's sorry
how he has always done
too many times before
it's the same as yesterday
she's tired of the worry
and games he likes to play

Yeah he knows he's hanging on
by just one single thread
when her tears she no longer cries
and she pretends to hear nothing he said
she's already two steps gone
from being just another memory

Through her words in silence
she will speak no more
as he hides behind his lies
inside her another piece of him dies

Love no longer echoes the night
where he lies next to her in bed
she just turns away her head
and turns out the light
as he tries to kiss her goodnight

She can only dream now alone
where on an empty Ocean's shore
she stood so long on her own
with just another lonely moonlight
she held inside a shadow's dance
Spiritwind ©2016
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