A dreamer, that’s what she was.
Most people just float on, barely surviving the torrents that life throws their way.
But she was a dreamer.
She lived for the love she read of in books.
She lived for the adventure she found in their pages.
She loved for the sake of never being loved in return.
For she was a dreamer, and dreaming she was.

A dreamer, that’s what she was.
Most people just carry on, refusing to acknowledge the pain that chains them down.
But she was a dreamer.
She was trapped by her expectations.
She was trapped by her desires.
She lived for a life she would never live.
For she was a dreamer, and dreaming she was.

A dreamer, that’s what she was.
Where as others awake when their dreaming is done,
She was trapped by her dream, violently torn,
Between wishing, waiting, wanting, watching…
In search of a life that could never be hers.
For she was a dreamer, and dreaming she was.

A dreamer, that’s what she was.
But how long can she chase her dream,
Until it becomes a nightmare?
Is she a dreamer stuck in the dreaming?
Or just an addict chasing the feeling?
I was a dreamer…until life caught wind of my dreaming.

You only love me when I let you pull apart my peices

Back when I was a little girl,
If you complimented me,
I would smile and say "thank you.'
I would feel like a princess,
beautiful and bright.
Now,
When you compliment me,
I just look at you,
Brows furrowed in confusion.
My whole world would stop,
suspended in time.
I would feel like you must be lying.

my chest
doesn't scream --
it hums
with a stabbing pain
too polite
to interupt.

my soul
it still reaches
for hands
that no longer
reach back
to me.

I give too much to everyone else,                                                            ­                    
                                                                ­                                                  
I don't save anything for myself                                                           ­                           
                                     ­                                                                 ­                  
so, I end up empty as a
shell                                                            ­                
                                                                ­                                            
resenting the takers & myself as
well                                                             ­         
                                                                ­                                                        
I open my mouth the words come
out,                                                             ­       
                                                         ­                                                                 ­
  I need to please, what's that
  about?                                                        ­                    
                                                                ­                                              
When the time comes to do the
deed,                                                            ­    
                                                            ­                                                            
  I'm overwhelmed if I don't meet their
needs                                                  
         ­                                                                 ­                                      
  Why can't I take, why can't I
receive?                                                         ­       
                                                         ­                                                       
Why can't I feel a little
greed?                                                           ­                   
                                                                ­                                                        
I have wants, I have
needs                                                            ­                      
                                                                ­                                                  
Sure there's a reason deep down inside                                                           ­         
                                                       ­                                                         
  some under lying purpose of why I,                                                               ­                                                      
                                                                ­                                                
don't feel I deserve the pleasure                                                         ­                                                                 ­                                                                 ­                                    
of someone who treats me better                                                           ­                                                 
                                                                ­                                            
Maybe I just need to be
needed,                                                          ­        
                                                                ­                                                
that's why the cycle keeps being repeated