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Erin Dec 2013
1.
My head itches with lice
that **** on my XY blood
and with each pierce of the scalp
anchor down the long strands of hair
that cascade down my back and fall
in my face and betray my boy-like
interior.

2.
I watch you and how you know who you are,
as you talk of hormone therapy and chest binders
or bras and wigs and make-up and dresses, and I
begin to cry because you know who you are,
even if the rest of the world does not.

3.
I want to cut my hair,
but I'm afraid my face is just too ugly
to have locks that fall to my ears,
that even short hair won't solve my problems,
won't have the cashier at the drug store call me
"sir".

4.
I'm scared of surgeries,
surgeries that would leave faint scars
beneath my *******, and allow me to walk
down a beach in trunk and a bare toned chest.
I have my binder but I will never be completely flat.

5.
I think the reason I am so scared
of cutting away the girl in me
is because I do not know
if there is really a boy inside.
December 10, 2013 /itsjusterin
Erin Dec 2013
You're here.

We don't talk,
but I'm quietly watching you,
so when you make eye contact shyly
it's easy to know what we are doing.

You approach me,
sanitizing wipe, Band-Aid, and mic
(complete with wires)
and peel the plastic.

Swab my cheek gently,
and I smell the alcohol
but it's a pleasant
smell now.

Put the mic over my ear,
position it against the side of my face,
tape the Band-Aid to my cheek,
fingers brushing my skin.

You send the wire down my dress,
pull up my skirt and reach up for the end,
soft fingers lightly skimming over my back.
Adjust the mic in its belt, and lower the fabric.

Tell me in your sweet voice:
"Look right"
I do, "oh, hair", you say, and I pull
my ponytail out of your way,
thinking of your soft short hair.

Then, "Look straight"
and as I do, and you tape the mic tape
against my neck, I'm thinking
"I do."

Backstage I think to myself
that you haven't done anyone else's mics,
and this makes me feel good.

I know later I'll be watching for you
to be free, so I can feel your hands
near me, watch your eyes rimmed
with liner as they study the mic
hooked to my face.


Crouching slightly as you are up
on tip-toes, and we can communicate
silently once more.
December 8, 2013 /itsjusterin
.how does one spell theatre terms
Erin Dec 2013
LDR
My dear, my darling
doctor,
I must confess to you a
secret,
my dear, my darling
doctor,
will you do your best to
keep it?

I know you have a
girlfriend,
and live so
far away,
but baby I could
fall for you,
and love you
every day.

My dear, my darling
doctor,
I never
understood,
how long distance relationships
worked,
but my dear now I think they
could.

My dear, my darling
doctor,
I'm addicted to your
page,
your comments, posts, and
witty poems,
you're even just my
age.

My dear, my darling
doctor,
I don't wish to break up
she and you,
but my dear, my darling
doctor,
I think I am falling
for you.
December 5, 2013 /itsjusterin
Erin Nov 2013
To the man with the camera
at the sweet sixteen,
you asked me why I was
crying,
and I was choking so hard
I couldn't speak,
but it was because
she was so nice to me.
November 17, 2013 /itsjusterin
Erin Nov 2013
To the girls who cut their hair
in the dead of night.
To the girls who face their fears
and insist that they're right.

To the girls who wear labels
proudly on their sleeves,
to the girls at the parties,
hiding in the eaves.

To the girls in flannel shirts,
and tight skinny jeans,
To the girls dressed in pride
when the world gets so mean.

To the girls putting lipstick
on never-kissed lips,
to the girls crying at night
Cause their life's such a trip.

To the girls that I want to be,
and the girl I never will,
to the girls that gave up,
this poem's for you.
November 3, 2013 /itsjusterin
Erin Sep 2013
You fear the dark
and I'm scared of heights,
so we stay on the ground
and turn on the lights.
September 28, 2013
Erin Sep 2013
who can love forever?
who can promise that?
that they will not just fall out of love
at the drop of a hat.

we dont have to love forever,
just today and tomorrow is fine,
i don't want to be with yours always,
my person must get to be mine.

what if we made no promises?
what if we only lived for today?
what if every time you said 'you are mine'
i laughed and then stated 'no way'

so simply say that you love me,
for today i'll know that it's true
'cause 'forever' is really just a prophecy,
that states i'll be broken by you.
September 26, 2013 /itsjusterin
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