It's funny how you can drive yourself crazy with regret

How anger and heartbreak dont let you forget

The things you should've done when you had the time

How quickly things can change in a blink of an eye

Taken for granted, what was given was luck

Forgetting for a moment you were nothing but stuck

She's drowning in her tears
Silently
Behind her mask
This is the world now

I'm always looking forward
To a day that won't exist
Where I can face my demons
Where I can shake my fists
I'd fight for what I'm dying for
Instead of dying to be sick
A day that's better than the last
A day that I can pick
I'm always looking forward
To a day that won't  exist
A day where I can show my pride
A day better than this
And I always get my hopes up
Just to feel the weight of fake
Hopes and dreams and memories
Waiting just to take
My love and breath away from me
There has to be a day
Where I can live it happily
And not have to walk away
Yet my days consist of
Heavy fog and mist
Because I'm waiting for a day
That will never exist

It's a different kind of lonely
That brings you to your knees
That makes you shake and quiver
That makes your tears run free
It's a different kind of lonely
That cracks your ribs wide open
So that the world can see inside
And run from what's been broken
It's a different kind of lonely
And you'll be judged because you are
A different kind of person
Who cant hide your ugly scars
It's a different kind of lonely
With a different kind of fear
A different genetic make- up
You see a different type of clear
No one else can see it
How the world is really made
It's a different kind of lonely
        And that is why
           They are so
               Afraid

I see the way you look at me
Empty eyes still smiling
Like you don't think that I can see
Inside your mind and it's humbling
After all these years you consider me
Nothing more than an enemy

The way you touch me burns my skin
Begging me to let you in
A stupid war that I can't win
Everyday the way it begins
After all these years, a struggle within
Looking past your loveless grin

The way you smile blinds my sight
Weakens me against your lies
The way I want you makes me cry
Knowing what I know inside
After all these years It's hard to fight
Against the empty in your eyes

The rain hits her face
Stings her skin
As her shoes hit the ground
Her head spins
Where she'll go no one knows
What they'll miss
She won't stop until she burns
And rain is mist
Let her go let her fly
Let her flee
Let her run from her fears
Let her see
As she screams to the wind
"Who am I?!"
She is brave not afraid
She's alive

Angel's singing
Brought me here
Amongst my dreams
Replaced my fears
The more I search
The less I find
I'm scared that I've
Been left behind

Angel's singing
brought me here
To my knees
My life, so clear
But when they stopped
The haze remained
And so
And so
Did the pain

Angel's singing
brought me here
The place where I
beg to hear
The voices again
And it's been years
Since I have heard
With my own ears
The Angels sing
The Angels sing

Just one time
Just once more
Would give me the strength
I've been waiting for
Please don't tell me
It was all in my head
I want to know just what they said

Angel's sing me to sleep
Angel's sing me to sleep

At the edge of the cliff she stands
Alone in the darkness
Stars above her head
Twinkling
Shooting
Whispering
She'd like to say she can hear them
But that would make her crazy
At the edge of the cliff she stands
At the edge of the cliff she stands

She closes her eyes as she leans forward
The best part is the feeling not the view
Her stomach jumps to her throat
And she swallows
As she floats up to the moon

When she opens her eyes she's still falling
Back to the ground so she won't know
The stars above bring her comfort
But time doesn't slow like she'd hoped

It's all over too quickly
But she doesn't feel any pain
She knows when she starts to float to the sky
That she was never
insain

At the edge of the cliff she stands
Able to jump and fly
Like Peter Pan, she's in Neverland
Where she'll never have to cry

We still have conversations
But we don't have much to say
I listen to your stories
That you tell me everyday
Sometimes there's something new
Sometimes nothing at all
I don't really care much
I love listening to you talk
I don't have much going on
There's not much to say myself
I wish I wasn't boring
I wish I was someone else
I can't hold your attention
You don't really want it anyway
But maybe if I had it
I'd have more to say
So please keep on talking
It keeps the air light
I don't like when there's nothing
To do except for fight

My brain was wired differently
My heart is that way too
It doesnt make me stupid,
But I'm easily confused
Is that why I cant make a friend?
Because of the way that I was born?
Everyone loves roses
Maybe I'm the thorn
The eyesore
The ugly duckling
The ******

The loser


Different

Like the weight of the world on her shoulders
She's become too determined to drop

She's been waiting around for years now
Hoping that time would just stop

Looking up at the dark starry sky
She wonders if one will just fall

So she can wish for some sort of miracle
So she no longer has to crawl

She's never been that lucky though
She's never left her mind

She's stuck there for eternity
Where the light left her behind


Like the weight of the world on her shoulders, she's become too determined to drop

It's an epidemic,

A widespread occurrence,

A pandemic plague,

A wide-range extensive

Infectious disease,

Called loneliness

If I could find a way to say
"I love you" that you'll believe
I'd say it that way every day
Then maybe you will see
The way I see you, and believe me
It's not always a pretty sight
And that's ok, no ones perfect
So let me tell you it's alright
Because I see strength
Where you see weak and I'd love to let you know
That that, my friend, is how it works
When it's time for you to grow

If I could find a way to say
"I love you" and you'll hear me
I'd say it that way every day
Until you finally believe

The worlds on fire baby
Lets sink into the hazy
Succumb to all the flames we thought were sin

Id run right through this fire
Fueled from my desire
Im not sure why i was scared to let you in

full moon bright

with sun reflected light

why cant i be like you

Oh this world is a scary place
And I know your feeling out of place
Just know I'm with you no matter how hard
It gets to fight for your broken heart

I see you struggle in your skin
And it's not the world that's caving in
I'll hold you up when you need to rest
I'll always know you've done your best

And I'll keep fighting while you sleep
So no demons will ever reach
The deepest part of your hollowed mind
The part that you try to leave behind

My wings are cut and scarred from fights
So you can dream all through the night
I've been doing this since you were born
And been there to fix you when you were torn

No matter what, I'll fight for you
Your souls is bright and that's what gets me through
When you feel broken and empty and scared
Remember, please, I'll always be there

Throw my glass against the wall
Watch it shatter, watch it fall
I've figured out now when you lie
I feel it on the inside

Can't glue the pieces back together
Lies keep coming, like bad weather
Say what you want, feel how you feel
But you and I, we used to be real

Pick up the shards so they'll stick in your skin
You cant take them out, you cant keep them in
Bleed for me baby because that's what it means
Take the pain baby, it hurts worse than it seems

Whisper whisper, hide the shine
Take back whats yours that once was mine
My heart, see through, so heavy, so hard
You've thrown, you've crushed, you've hurt, you gaurd

So sweep it all up, throw it away
Or try, just try, to make it the same
Mold my heart new through fire and heat
Because I still need you to make me complete

Trapped in your own mind
You lost your soul
And you knew it from the start
That youd never gain control
The chains around your wrists
Held you high upon the wall
Blinded by this sight
That made you think you had it all
Pushed away from the reality
Of knowing your all alone
No one out there sees you
A bird that's never flown
You never leave the cage your in
Never knock down the walls you've built
But I see you crying in them
And drowning in your guilt

Hello broken person,

Are you empty just like me?

Do you feel so much it hurts enough

To bring you to your knees?

Are you confused or frustrated

Over why you can never be

Someone who can find the time

To unsee what we have seen?

Hello broken person,

I am empty, and just like you

I have fought a thousand battles

And somehow made my way through

It hasn't gotten easier

I dont think it ever will

They say that time is healing,

But only time can tell

Hello broken person,

Are you empty just like me?

Have you had enough? Do you feel numb?

Are you sure you can even breathe?

Does it feel like exsanguination,

But it's coming from your heart?

Do you feel a void so big

That its tearing you apart?

Have you heard of an antidote,

Some sort of remedy?

Something that will help us out

I'm tired of being empty

Tall grasses brush against fingertips
Her skirt sways in the breeze
Little flowers surround her
A light scent that cant be febrezed
A warmth that sinks into her skin
And eases her troubled heart
A feeling she cant put with a memory
A bittersweet work of art
It makes her feel like a child again
And shes no longer made of stone
A smile plays gently on her lips
It feels so much like home

I can't stop thinking about her
Her hair, her smile
The pictures I've seen
Videos you've taken
Are forever embedded in my brain

I can't stop thinking about her
How you chose her
over me

I dont want to let go
But I must
I dont want to say goodbye
But it's just
What if I'm holding you back
From the light
What if I'm the reason
You've given up your fight
What if you stay
And never know
What it's like to be free
To let go
I dont want to be the one that holds on
I have to learn to live with you gone

I'd rather sit here and cry
Than do anything about the reason why

That's just who i am, no one understands
Neither do I

I'd rather sit here and pout
Feeling sorry for myself

Because starting over is way too hard
Even though there's no way to work things out

I know I'll have to do this somehow
But I'd rather keep trying and fail

I already know things only get worse
As soon as they start to go stale

The sun is out right now
But I dont care to see it
I'd rather stay in bed
And never freaking leave it
Hide under the blanket
Where the world is just as small
As I feel outside, so I dont wanna go out at all

I feel the world closing off again
I feel it
The walls are caving in again
I feel it
Emotions are draining
But they aren't worth saving
I'm feeling so alone again
I feel it


I wake up in a panic
Alone
I can't breathe when I'm the only one home
Where is my peace
Where is my strength
It's gone when
I'm alone

I wake up in a panic
And your next to me
I can't breathe when I feel like I'm suffocating
I'm alone even when your talking to me
I have no strength to fight it
I feel it

It's cold hands grab my neck
And it squeezes
If I believed I would pray that Jesus
Would save me from the ice spreading down my spine
But instead I keep it trapped in my mind
And I feel it

I feel the world closing off again
I feel it
I know I'm the burden then
I feel it
I try not to let the walls cave in
But I'm weak and they aren't paper thin
I feel it
Emotions are draining
But they aren't worth saving
I feel it
I feel it
I feel it

I have a dream
Where life is simple
And money grows on trees
I have a dream
Where people are friends
And not possible enemies
I have a dream
Where we all laugh
About the things that make us mad
I have a dream
Where hurtful things
Don't really hurt as bad
I have a dream

In my eyes, I'm not perfect
There are way too many flaws
In my eyes, I deserve it
The way I've let myself fall
In my eyes, i'm not special
I'm nothing to brag about
In my eyes, I'm not worth it
I'm just too much to figure out

In my eyes, I'm broken
Disfigured, disgusting
In my eyes, I'm weak
Nobody, nothing
In my eyes, I will always
Always be alone
In my eyes, the world would be better off
If i was never known


I wish I was blind

She's resilient
Brilliant
Strong
Brave
She's determined
Observant
Knows just what
To say
She's Courageous
Outrageous
Tenacious
Extreme
She's astounding
Resounding
Abounding
Undreamed
She's exciting
Inspiring
Inviting
Insightful
She's striking
Like lightening
Brightening
Delightful

I wish she could see what I see
As I look in the mirror and she looks back at me

Can't you just let me be me again
I'm tired of letting you in
The walls that I've built are wearing thin
Please let me be me again

I'm losing control of my mind again
Voices inside, and I hold them in
I'm trying, but my brain is caving in
The pain never stops
I should know

I want to be free to be me again
Build up the strength to smile again
Hear my own thoughts like they're mine again
But the voices wont stop
I should know

Is that me or the me you used to know
Am I here, am I there, where did i go?
I just wanted to let you know
I thought i was me but I'm them
I want to be me again
But that me is long gone
I should know

It's funny how
When I don't feel like talking to anyone
No one talks to me

It's funny how
When I need someone to talk to
No one talks to me

It's funny how
Alone I am
But I deserve this
It's fate
My destiny

I wanted to be someone
I wanted to make a difference
I wanted to be important
Oh stupid childhood dreams

How you lead on the innocent
Just to break their heart

I wish that your words were believable

I wish your fingers didn't burn when they touch my skin

I wish what I want was achievable

But we can't just start again

I wish that you want me more than I need you

I wish we could fix what was done before it got this far

I wish that I could move on, I need to

You still hold my heart, covered in scars

You hold the knife and you use it

I hold my life and abuse it

Theres nothing keeping either one of us here

Except our own fear, my need to be near

Your need to see clear

I wish that things happened for a reason

I was told to fight for what I believed in

After all this time, why do I still believe in you

Your the one that tore me in two

I wish shooting stars were magical

I wish that feeling lost was a way to begin

I wish we weren't so asymmetrical

I wish our love wasn't so thin

I live a life of regrets

A life of constant no rest

A life that needs a drastic change

A life that seems so distant and strange

I live a life of regrets

I'd open my mouth and speak my mind

If it would even matter

The more I see, the less try

To hide the constant clatter

I live a life of regrets

Some of us only have the moon to talk with
Some of us only have the stars
Some only have the leaves on the trees
Some only have their hearts

Some of us are so lonely
That we cry ourselves to sleep
Just to wake up and try again to make friends
To be looked at like we're creeps

Everyone has been lonely once
I have been lonely too
I feel somedays my heart might stop
When no one cares what I'm going through

I'm not tough enough to keep things in
I'm not smart enough to understand
I was born the black sheep in a white sheep world
Not good enough for their demands

I dont want just the moon and the stars
Now I feel kind of greedy
I dont want the leaves or just my heart
But I also dont want to seem needy

You stole my heart

In the end, you gave it back destroyed

Maybe that's why I can't let go

Your still covered in it's blood

And it pulls me towards you

Too weak to carry on alone

Your made in "Gods image"

Preach, preacher, preach!

Because I tried to give thanks

To who ever made me

But the fact of the matter is

I still ******* bleed!

I have three sisters and two brothers

Who I never see!

Two brothers are dead

My sisters torn apart

Ripped from the love

Of their very own heart!

So how were we made

In the name of God?

Of all that is holy

Have we forgotten?

Why is it, in the Bible

That God always prevailed

And now, we beg and cry

For a way to not fail

Why are we waiting

Is it all just a story?

Of a hero that takes away death

And gains glory?

Who are we to be?

What are we to know?

When we take our last breath

And finally let go?

Is there a place after?

Or will we cease to exist?

Will our story continue?

Or will it be silent bliss?

We all were there once,

Before we were born

How did we come into

A world so torn?

And why cant we remember if we lived before?

How old are we really?

Could there be so much more?

So many questions

No answers

Just opinions

Just beliefs

Why do we judge

Other people on their grief

Or what comes after the fact

Because comfort doesnt have to be

Someone elses words

Against tear stained cheeks

So why do we fight so, for the words that we believe?

When that's just what they are, simple beliefs...

Forcing religion down the throats

Of those of us who are scared

Of the final note

Let us believe in what calms us

At the end of the day

Let us die feeling happy

Not like we made a mistake

Your like a ridiculously bright star in the sky

I'm like you

Both of us pretending that we're something we're not

Bright, but obviously so

And not flickering with hope

It gives us away

There are better dreams in memories

         Than memories in dreams

Dont worry about the monster behind her

With its claws sunk into her skin

That's how the demon controls her

That's how she let's it win

Dont look into its eyes

You cant let it know you see

Please dont leave her alone

Because then it wont set her free

When she smiles, know she fakes it

When she laughs, its filled with pain

The monster is like a leech

It makes her happiness drain

You see how it towers above her

Shadowing her every motion

Its eyes are red and hypnotizing

And you watch her drink its potion

Its biggest fear is love
So love her

The monster will shrink down

I cant say it will go away

But she doesnt have to drown

I'd scream

If I weren't

Empty


But I'm

Mumbling

Through this line

I'm sorry, I don't get it
Had my head down for a minute
So just quit it

I think my heart stopped
For like five
And suddenly I've
Been revived

I'm still
Dead
And I'm terrified
That I can't remember
The last time I cried

Hey

I'd scream if I weren't empty
But I'm mumbling

I'm Mumbling

Through this line

This is my lonely life
Where silence swallows up my voice
And traps my thoughts beneath its ice
This is my lonely life

This is my lonely life
I've left everything behind for this
Greatfully accepted this
Walked into a war for this
This is my lonely life

This is my lonely life
Where nothing matters anymore
No one cares what's in store
Where bitter words have become a bore
And I only seem to want more
This is my lonely life

My soul it is too gentle
It makes me feel the pain
That it feels when it cant sleep
And its driving me insane
My soul it is too weak
To continue day to day
to keep pretending i'm happy
to keep pretending i'm ok

Life has made the smallest turn
It's big for me because the past still burns
Obsessive thoughts still flood my mind
Leaving me weary, gaurded, blind

When everything seems to be ok
There's always something that stands in the way
I don't want another shady observation
Another angry confrontation

So I sit back and let the world go by
Ignore what I hope is my troubled mind
Silently pleading my heart to watch it's step
Begging for it to never forget