I hung out with a friend the other day
an old friend
we used to walk around a small town at night like every step was the beginning to some great adventure
we sat
we talked of all thats been going on in our lives
we smoked
we sat
we walked to his house at the desire of my mother
not necessarily to be there
but to be anywhere but here
we arrived
we sat
he stayed on his phone for what turned into an hour
"looking for something to do"
I sat
He said "I don't have anyone to hang out with"
I sat
He said "Shane, I have shane to hang out with"
I am Shane
I sat.
Now I can't decide exactly what the problem is,
am I so dreadfully boring one must rely on a circuit board escape plan to lead them to others less so
or is my friend improper company for myself
would have thought of any of this if I had a phone myself?
or would I have written it right there on the spot?
Who knows
we smoked
I walked home, alone & happy to be
though I couldn't help but notice all the pretty faces eating ice cream along the way
I tried to sing for their attention
they laughed
I smiled & walked away
atleast I made some sort of impression, eh?
my friend & I shall meet again
& no matter how it goes, I know this is the type of friend who will visit me on my deathbed, or I his.
I suppose I am just shaken by the contrast of the time spent then & the time spent now
I arrive home
I lock the door to stop the echoes of fear from flogging my mother
I sleep