you say you want me back and you're sorry for pushing me away
you were scared of getting hurt
and you felt an overwhelming amount of emotion while you were with me
you didn't know how to handle it

but as the days go by you miss me more and more
you wish you never let me go because you can't find the spark anywhere else
and because you know i was such a rare find
so you hate yourself for running away

but then i woke up.

"i hate him"
but i still think about you, for some reason

"i never want to see him again"
i'm scared that when i see you again, it'll all come back

"he means nothing to me"
but you were everything to me

the more i try holding on to you
the more my heart breaks
my love for you is screaming inside me and i'm trying to hold it in
because i'm not sure if you feel the same
did you mean all you said to me?
or has it just been a game all along

but was the feeling ever mutual?
i fear that maybe you just never felt the spark like i did.

sometimes it hits me like a brick
the realization that you're not there anymore
the realization that i'll never be able to feel your touch again
i'll never be able to be in your presence again
oh how i miss being next to you

then i wonder how it was real
it was just so perfect, until it wasn't
i just don't get how someone who made me feel more than anyone else has could leave my life so quickly
i don't get how we weren't meant to be

not a day goes by where i don't think of you
and i hate myself for it

was it just the idea of you?
or the potential of what we could've been?
or was it genuinely just you as a person?

for whatever reason, i still can't seem to get you off my mind
i can't forget the way i felt when we looked into each other's eyes
i can't forget how my whole body filled with joy when you smiled

oh how i miss it, but i will never know if you feel the same

i wish you liked me
the way i liked you
every second my heart is tearing apart
and you don't even seem to care

I shouldn't be feeling this way I know
But every part of my heart beats for you
Every second of every day
All that's on my mind is you

There's a war going on in my heart
The soldiers stomping around the edges of each and every vessel
The voices shouting
But amidst the chaos, all I can think of is how I felt when we looked into each other's eyes

Those eyes of yours, that smile of yours
It feels like paradise whenever I venture into them
Our souls connected in an instant, they quickly became intertwined
And I just can't seem to forget it