Write with intensity
that if you held the page
from a mountain's peak
would be mistaken
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With bountiful botanical seedlings
surrounded by vital emeralds of evergreen.
Hark! Twas the season's change!
In the midst of the morning might
I notice the humble sage.
Within the rains.
than the last.
A soft coo
in the crisp
How I reveled in the brisk elation.
How I longed to be in the mist.
Hands were tingling from the heat of a cup.
The door was ajar.
The plans were on the table.
Dreary, the months past December...
...now so easily forgotten.
Like the damned, I move everywhere.
I am a curse, not a cure.
Infinite words for the infinite time.
Like someone else, I'm living my life.
Saw a stranger when I looked in the mirror.
When the light falls in our eyes we see nothing clear.
But we need that light to find ourselves a path.
I burned myself half for someone else's wrath.
Sometimes I see me, sometimes I feel me.
I'm digging an abyss which is already too deep.
Going to a place which has got no name.
When I look around, everything looks same.
A year or after everything gets changed.
My life is like a train which got derailed.
Who am I? The question still remains.
I'm waiting for the rain to wash away my pain.
To not to bray like ass in fray,
I flay too much to overlay.
What I felt I feel it still today.
Everyday I replay that same day.
I got a call, was told to pray.
For your life as you're not trying to stay.
You were trying to go too faraway.
But you're struggling somewhere in halfway.
Sound of silence hurl in whirl
swirls my heart to twirl and furl.
Shinning no more like a pearl.
You were sleeping like a baby girl.
And I saw you in that ICU.
Brain-dead in bed. I'll be you.
Can you meet me at the rendezvous
for one last time to have fondues?
You said nothing that I could hear.
I stood there for no good so near.
A lamb having no wool to shear.
You will never wake up, I knew it dear.
That day became a darker night.
The light was same but wasn't bright.
Loud voices I heard were quite
as crowd noises to recondite.
Hundreds of them came next day.
Some did mourn and some did pray.
Flames of pain didn't fade away
with that bloody rain on 3rd of May.
For five or six months, had no sleep.
Promises unfulfilled hunts so deep.
A neap then came to over sweep.
Steep-sided me on drugs so cheap.
Every morning I drug, so every night.
Evenings I mourn but to feel alright
Pills were never out of sight.
To get out of plight; ate them overnight.
I loved the smell of cocaine.
I also loved Mary Jane.
I roll up a dobbie and toke
not to feel this hurricane.
In the world of music, I didn't fit.
Those guitar classes I did quit.
I admit what I did was shit.
I grit my teeth; Am I hypocrite?
Not a word I wrote that year.
Fought a herd of thoughts trapped here
in my heart, I trot vast fear.
A bit blear but sky is clear.
Veils that you wore like a mutch.
Burning zeal I felt too much.
I dwelt on those thoughts overmuch.
No more I need that gentle touch.
I was not able to find a job.
Some faggots told me I am a snob.
Like a hob, I used to roam around
globe. I pound and life I found.
Letting you vanish like a morning dream.
No more I'm waking up to ream & ream.
Up in the sky, I saw a new star gleam.
No more you need to shine on me, it seems.
Thunder rolled offshore
by the dancing light horizon.
I sat quietly on a wicker chair.
Through the boring pouring
on that somber, humid morning
open seas were surly churning
the fathoms of the mind.
I creaked atop that wicker chair.
Facetiously; I was grieving.
Though in fact I was not leaving
the waves did seem appealing.
I spent the daze careening
on that rickety wicker chair.
I see a girl every day
In my dreams every night and day
I saw her every day on the train.
A sacred heart that made me sane.
One beautiful day, I spoke with her.
Broke silence, talked and walked with her.
I saw how beautiful made she was.
I wished those moments would never pass.
Then few drops of rain fell on her cheeks.
I felt that touch for many a weeks.
From nowhere there came a gentle haze.
Touched her hair and left a glaze.
She glared at the fading rainbow in midair.
Smiled like a little girl and shrilled a prayer.
Two cups of coffees from the same cafe.
'I Love You!' I thought it's better not to say.
If I tell her, don't know how she will react.
Love ain't an answer. Yes, it's more than that.
I thought she's someone else's & she won't be mine.
I entwined our relationship won't work out fine.
Born to be an angel, she was always a queen.
Like her no girl I have ever seen.
But I think God loved her more than me.
He took her to heaven and left me here.
No more I see her, far away she went.
If she meant to fore-wend,
To here, why was she sent?
Intoxicated all of our lives with her mesmerizing scent.
A true friend she always was,
the reason behind this lament.
Now I'm sitting here and thinking all day long.
She is in a haven where she does not belong.
I walk alone through the roads we used to walk.
Searching for her sheer glimpse to ignite a talk.
Instead of sitting in the same seat we used to sit.
I wish to dig a grave to bury me so close to her pit.
But I'll have to wait until the day I'll again meet her.
To show her, every single letter and reminder
that I wrote for her, when she wasn't here.
'I don't want your beautiful eyes to shed one more tear.'
Thought about her, then I closed my eyes.
My soul left my body, but couldn't break all ties.
I'm going to a place where dreams come true.
Is this Utopia? I don't have the slightest clue.
I opened my eyes to find her sitting next to me,
in my bed.
'I will love you, forever!'
without hesitation, I firmly said.
She said nothing,
smiled for a while and nodded instead.
You will live in my dreams till I'm dead.
So please don't wake me from this dream, baby
We're still together in my head.
And you still belong to me
'Til I woke up to discover that that dream was dead.
Note: The last four lines of the poem are from
Eminem's Stronger Than I Was
You said it didn't matter
you would accept me anyway
but when it came to the day
I could tell you were uncomfortable
so I tried to hide
under a cover that killed me inside
My thoughts were intoxicated
I could not forget
it poisoned my mind
all I could think of
was not being accepted
and it destroyed my life
I gave up
I couldn't cope
I lost all hope
because the thought of my friends unacceptance killed me
You tried to bring in my life a second childhood
When I was an asshole standing on the side of falsehood.
You helped me at harsh times and made me feel good.
You helped me find heaven where I stood.
You came uninvited into my life as my friend.
I know you will be with me til the end.
Made my life ceremonious like a fanfare.
Oh, my friend! You are truly rare.
You took me out of pothole and put me in a peak.
When you ain't around, I'm just a steak.
Yes, I was always rude and fucking freak.
And you are the one who made me quiet,gentle and meek.
Before I met you I was fully addicted to dope.
Every song I wrote turned out to be big flops.
But you told my songs are great to make me smile.
So I will feel good a little bit even for a short while.
I've no future. It's engraved in my palm.
But one advice from you made me warm.
I threw needles away, 'cause your words were lam.
Like I was an ache & you were the balm.
I'm singing this from my deep heart, this is no lie.
If there wasn't you, I woulda surely died.
Only thing I wanna see is you touching the blue sky.
Doors to the heaven will open. You gotta fly.
In front of you, I'm just a rundown.
You should know you are the best of this town.
I'm already down and still going down.
Let us celebrate tonight, come for sure, clown.