Write with intensity
that if you held the page
from a mountain's peak
would be mistaken
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With bountiful botanical seedlings
surrounded by vital emeralds of evergreen.
Hark! Twas the season's change!
In the midst of the morning might
I notice the humble sage.
Within the rains.
than the last.
A soft coo
in the crisp
How I reveled in the brisk elation.
How I longed to be in the mist.
Hands were tingling from the heat of a cup.
The door was ajar.
The plans were on the table.
Dreary, the months past December...
...now so easily forgotten.
Like the damned, I move everywhere.
I am a curse, not a cure.
Infinite words for the infinite time.
Like someone else, I'm living my life.
Saw a stranger when I looked in the mirror.
When the light falls in our eyes we see nothing clear.
But we need that light to find ourselves a path.
I burned myself half for someone else's wrath.
Sometimes I see me, sometimes I feel me.
I'm digging an abyss which is already too deep.
Going to a place which has got no name.
When I look around, everything looks same.
A year or after everything gets changed.
My life is like a train which got derailed.
Who am I? The question still remains.
I'm waiting for the rain to wash away my pain.
To not to bray like ass in fray,
I flay too much to overlay.
What I felt I feel it still today.
Everyday I replay that same day.
I got a call, was told to pray.
For your life as you're not trying to stay.
You were trying to go too faraway.
But you're struggling somewhere in halfway.
Sound of silence hurl in whirl
swirls my heart to twirl and furl.
Shinning no more like a pearl.
You were sleeping like a baby girl.
And I saw you in that ICU.
Brain-dead in bed. I'll be you.
Can you meet me at the rendezvous
for one last time to have fondues?
You said nothing that I could hear.
I stood there for no good so near.
A lamb having no wool to shear.
You will never wake up, I knew it dear.
That day became a darker night.
The light was same but wasn't bright.
Loud voices I heard were quite
as crowd noises to recondite.
Hundreds of them came next day.
Some did mourn and some did pray.
Flames of pain didn't fade away
with that bloody rain on 3rd of May.
For five or six months, had no sleep.
Promises unfulfilled hunts so deep.
A neap then came to over sweep.
Steep-sided me on drugs so cheap.
Every morning I drug, so every night.
Evenings I mourn but to feel alright
Pills were never out of sight.
To get out of plight; ate them overnight.
I loved the smell of cocaine.
I also loved Mary Jane.
I roll up a dobbie and toke
not to feel this hurricane.
In the world of music, I didn't fit.
Those guitar classes I did quit.
I admit what I did was shit.
I grit my teeth; Am I hypocrite?
Not a word I wrote that year.
Fought a herd of thoughts trapped here
in my heart, I trot vast fear.
A bit blear but sky is clear.
Veils that you wore like a mutch.
Burning zeal I felt too much.
I dwelt on those thoughts overmuch.
No more I need that gentle touch.
I was not able to find a job.
Some faggots told me I am a snob.
Like a hob, I used to roam around
globe. I pound and life I found.
Letting you vanish like a morning dream.
No more I'm waking up to ream & ream.
Up in the sky, I saw a new star gleam.
No more you need to shine on me, it seems.
Thunder rolled offshore
by the dancing light horizon.
I sat quietly on a wicker chair.
Through the boring pouring
on that somber, humid morning
open seas were surly churning
the fathoms of the mind.
I creaked atop that wicker chair.
Facetiously; I was grieving.
Though in fact I was not leaving
the waves did seem appealing.
I spent the daze careening
on that rickety wicker chair.
You said it didn't matter
you would accept me anyway
but when it came to the day
I could tell you were uncomfortable
so I tried to hide
under a cover that killed me inside
My thoughts were intoxicated
I could not forget
it poisoned my mind
all I could think of
was not being accepted
and it destroyed my life
I gave up
I couldn't cope
I lost all hope
because the thought of my friends unacceptance killed me
Its not so far away
Man made nature
The loving arms of hell
I had forgotten the way the waves crash on the shore
Of the outer banks
I live in cities
All the life around me
Is only death
I took a rorshak test
And saw fire
And bullet proof glass
I want to go somewhere again
Where the nature isn't addicted to chemicals
Its not so far away
Where I can watch the crane fly
Over the most tranquil waters
Of my mind
To nothing higher
Than to bring light into your world
Out of control
That keeps you warm
I want to be your favorite song
Because you know that I was written for you
Not a strum from some guitar
But chords in your mind I play with
I cannot help but create
To let you know that you are loved
I want you to be my biggest fan
Because it matters if you sing along