I finally found you again

its been years but

I could never forget your

barley laced breath,

sneaking cigarettes

burning everything

but yourself

your burial only hid

the covers of your flesh

who knew that you would

resurrect

into someone I had never met

dipping himself in liquor

his angered tremble

is reminiscent of yours

how foolish was I to believe

you would ever let me out the broken

door of my existence




you must have missed this

you must have wished this

curse upon me!




I suppose its expected when a tomb

remains occupied with life

if only you would die

if only you would drown yourself

lifeless in liquor

if only you would bury me too

and leave me well enough behind.

Rumors flew but nobody knew how much she blamed herself.
For years and years she tried to hide the whiskey on her breath.
But never could get drunk enough to get him off her mind.
Until the night,
She put that bottle to her head and pulled the trigger.

Poisoning my undeveloped self at age fourteen with toxic fumes and deadly drinks that are meant for adults who want to have fun or detach for awhile. I didn't know rather it because I was trying to be happy or be someone else which basicly is the same thing. I longed to be someone else and achohol and cigarettes defined that someone. Drinking and smoking is for grown ups they say but I grew up fast.