I am conflicted,
I am uncertain,
to long,
or despise
the infamous day,
when 'things will get better'

I planted a seed of hatred inside of me,
Hoping it would grow,
Hoping the roots would be the beginning of the end,
To the repetitive thud in my chest

Mother birds throw up there food to feed their young, who am i trying to feed when I empty myself?

'If you are fat then what am I?'
No you are mistaken
I do not see others as measurements
that is something I hold to myself
I need to loose weight
for the achievement
for control
for me to feel mentally stable
I need not hear about how
'it's not attractive to be that thin'
because I don't give a ****