We're not as prefect as we
Think we should be.
We mess up more than
We know we should.

You've made
A beautiful being
Out of me.

Optimism is taught
As though it's the
Hight of enjoyment.
To have a happy life,
Think glass half full.

But optimism
Is killing me.
I'm sure of it.

Because
I can hope
And pray
And wish for the day
That you come back to me
And you realize
I'm the one.

And
I can spend
Every day
Waiting for you.
I can waste away my life
At your door.

But
All the optimism
In the world
Can't make you do
What is not in your heart.

The glass could be half full.
Hell,
It could be
Filled up to the brim,
But that won't change the fact
That I'm not with you
And you're with him.

I cannot help
But to be selfish
In loving you

I'm running out of memories
Of you.

My bones are stiff
And my jaw is bolted
Shut
Holding all my
Secrets inside
As I gallivant
My brain
From one heart
To another.

Sew me up.
Shut me down.
Keep me centered.
Take me out.

Any movement
Of you
Is all I
Long for.

And it's stupid.
Because you shouldn't mean
This much to me.
Not in this way.
It's not right.

It's not like I chose this.
It's not as if I did this
On purpose.

It's just that
You looked at me
With those big blue eyes
And you were so
So close to me.
From that moment on.
Forever since.

Stop playing
Hide and go seek
With my heart.

You never really left
Even though you're gone.
And I don't know how
I'm going to move on.

Sometimes people
Come into your life,
Tear your heart apart,
And leave.

And well,
That just really *****
Now doesn't it.

follow me into
all of my goodbyes.

they're all meant
for you.

the first time
that our eyes met
we clicked.
my heart felt a flutter
when our hands collided
and when I saw my reflection
residing in your pupils
for a single shining moment

I no longer felt alone.

Trying to be kind,
You ask me how I'm doing.

Baby, please stop
Talking to my heart.

You mean for your words to
Heal it

But they only
Tear it apart.

Well
I must say
That I'm doing just fine.
Hell, I don't even think of you as
Often as I
Used
To.

We'll spend some time apart.
I'll cleanse my broken heart.

And I
Will always love
You for you
And I pray
You love
Me for
Me.

And

I

Don't know what to do

I

Don't know what to do

I

Don't know what to do

When I'm

Not

With

You.

And the sun's no longer
Shining.

And the sky's a
Milky blue.

I'd have to live
In a dark,
Dull world
To have any chance of
Forgetting you.

You were everything beautiful and bright.

Somebody else
Has already written these words for you.

Somebody else
Has already had these thoughts.

Somebody else
Has already poured their heart out to you.

And somebody else
Has already gotten you to love them back.

Somebody else
Let's say,
Got there before me.

Let's just say
That the only thing standing
Between me and you
Is time.
And opportunity.

I hope you're safe and happy
With your somebody else.

Am I anyone's
one that got away?

Because you're mine
And if you can't see it
God knows who can.

Nothing I do
Makes any sense now.

When I think of you now
It's like I'm thinking of
The image on a picture.
Not really thinking of a person
Just the idea of one.

You were too good to be true
From the start of it all.

I went along with it.
I thought that we were playing
And I thought it was fun
And then my heart had other ideas.

My mind's been confused
For awhile now.
Ever since
I started feeling this way about you.

But it doesn't really matter
What I think
What my mind thinks
Or anything
Because you're gone.

You were never really here.
You were just an idea.
So I guess when I think of a picture,
Just an image,
It really is you.

You were all I thought about.
You were all I was.

Now I'm left
With brand new handshakes
And introductions
To this person I've called
"Myself"
For all this time.

Who am I kidding.
You took me with you
When you walked out that door.
No need to get to know someone
Who isn't even there.

Let's leave
Today.
Let's run
Away.
Let's never
Stay
In one
Place
For too
Long.

My head is all a clutter.
I can't make out a thing.
It's as if my mind and my emotions
Are always arguing.

I'm sorry that I'm broken.
I'm sorry that I'm used.
My mind is like the city streets
And my heart has been abused.

Oh I'll just bite my lip
Until the realization of your leaving
Sets in and
Finally kills me.

And I just can't stop myself
From running all of those
Moments we shared
Through my head.

Playing them over with
Only happy endings and
I'd be with you and
You'd be with me.

You can't remind me who I am
Through my screams of
LET ME FORGET

And just like that,
You're gone.

I'll love you.
I'll miss you.
Forever.
Alone.

I've felt a lot of things with you.
Unexplainable emotions.
Unwanted attraction.
Unwavering addiction.
Unnecessary anxiety.

Everything.
Under me.
Under God.
And the Untied States of America.
You leave here to travel.
Move around a little.
I'll wait.
I'll wait.
I'll wait for you.

You leave here
To start a life.
To leave this one behind.
To start fresh
To start new
To start all over again.

Find another me.
Make another you.
You leave here.

I'll just stay.
I'll just wait for you
To remember me.
To realize
That those unyielding emotions
Were my love for you.

That I love you.
That I love you.
THAT I LOVE YOU.
AND YOU'RE LEAVING.
AND THERE'S NOTHING LEFT TO DO.
THERE'S NOTHING LEFT TO DO.
THERE'S NOTHING LEFT TO DO.

But to wait for you.
I'll wait for you.
To leave again.
To love me too.

And here's another goodbye
You and you and you and
Her.

My desire just to hold her.
Tucks her chin into her shoulder.

Let's make up excuses to love each other.

it's getting dim outside
you were all things light
now you're moving away
i suppose the sunlight
follows you

ink
in the form of
flora
and
fauna
pressed into
your skin
ankles
wrists
arms
and back
covered in color
and light.

A puff of smoke
It lingers in my mind.

Your eyes
You're leaving them behind.

No matter where you go
The smell of cigarette smoke
And those blues
And those specks of green
That you wink at me
Will always stay
Behind.

I stopped by your place once more
You weren't there
But I knew it was
Probably for the best.

Empty walls
Filed away into closed up boxes
Each propped against the other
Holding each other up
Tearing me down.

I opened your door
And a heaviness pooled out.
It seeped out of the cushions
On that couch that we laid on
Together while you
Nuzzled my cheek.

And it wafted from the incense
That you lit when you told me
That you loved me
And you
Offered me a kiss.

That feeling of emptiness
That you once filled with that
Look in your eyes and that
Willingness to hold me
Is now vacant
Once again.

Just like this little basement apartment
That you never meant to call forever
But I thought of you as just that
Within this space.

It's haunting
And heartbreaking
And all life moves in
Slow motion
And I want to be rid of it
And I want to run from here.

But I cannot pick my feet up
As I think of all the memories
All the unyielding
True affection
That came out of me
In this place.

I build up the kind of courage
That it takes to turn my knees around
And catch them just in time
As they fall weak.

And back inside my mind
I'm crying
And I'm mourning
That you're leaving
But on the outside of my body
I'm walking out of here.

And back inside my mind I'm running
And I'm catching up your fingers
As I pull you back into me
And I keep you
Here.
Together.

But on the outside
I'm walking calmly
Back to my car with my possessions
That I came to this empty place
To pick up
Years and moments ago.

And in my mind.
I end up with you.
And never would you leave me.

And in my mind.
We'd always been this way
Together.

And in my mind.
You didn't leave.

He's crying.
I'm just waiting.
You're avoiding conversation.
And I just
Don't know
Where this
Unnerving
Awkward
Tension's
Coming from.

Your beauty
It takes root inside of me
And grows to be
All that I'll ever see.

I want to write you a song,
A sonnet,
A prose.
A sweet little nothing
That everyone knows.

I've tried to take others,
A common love song.
But they weren't for you,
No.
They were all wrong.

I wanted it to be special,
To be different,
Unique.
I wanted to make
Your knees feel weak.

But nothing was working.
Nothing was right.
I was ready for failure,
To give up the fight.

But then you stopped by
And took my hand in yours.
You smiled,
You winked,
You helped with the chores.

You calmed all my nerves,
With one thoughtless look.
And that was the moment
That my heart
You took.

There's no way to explain it,
No words to display,
The way that I felt
When you took
My breath
Away.

So I can't write you a prose,
Or a sonnet,
Or song.
Nothing can explain
That with you
I belong.

You brighten my day.
You light up my life.
I pray for the day
That you call me your wife.

I've saved up my love.
I've locked up my heart.
For all of the years
That we were apart.

I've waited for you.
And cried many nights.
I knew that my temper
Would cause many fights.

I have my own setbacks.
Please know that is true.
I'm angry,
I'm scared,
I'm no good for you.

But if you love me,
my dear,
And offer a smile,
I'll stay by your side
Every inch,
Every mile.

I'll love you and keep you
So close to my heart.
We'll live our lives together
Until death do us part.

Tuck your hair behind your ear
Turn your cheek to me.
Tilt your chin
Up to the East
Close your eyes
And see.

A necklace for
Your collarbone
I sweep my fingers
Round your neck.
Gentle thoughts
And heavy dreams
I must keep my heart
In check.

Breathless now
I clasp it shut
And lift my eyes
To you.
No breath in my lungs
Gives me room in my mind
To imagine the things
We could do.

You're falling now
Just out of my reach.
Never truly mine
Never really lovers
But your absence
Is keeping
Me up at night.

And the song that plays in my head
When I see your face
Is slowly fading out.

And this dark
Secluded
Silence
Is tearing me
Apart.

can't be
me me you her
we are falling
apart
she
is here
for you
for me
we
are nothing
more

fall
it all
away

So caring so kind so
UNDERSTANDING
you're just so sweet but
I can't keep standing
up in this mess
that you call
EVER AFTER
stand up
sit up
you're slouching
my dear
smile smile for the
CAMERA
smile smile oh so pretty
to convince all the
clowns and the queen
that you're happy
OH SO HAPPY
so so happy
with your
Failing Kingdom
and your
SELL OUT SHOW
oh so famous
in the tabloids
gossip gossip who is she?
spread that rumor
share that tidbit
give it up
spit it out
TELL ME EVERYTHING YOU KNOW
because I'm dying for a fix
because I'm dying over here
I'm just dying
dying
dying
don't mind me
DON'T YOU SUFFER
not on my
behalf
don't you cry
oh no no
please don't cry
anymore
I can't
STAND IT
anymore
I can't
stand up
sit up
I can't smile for the camera
I can't
TAKE IT ANYMORE
I can't stay.
I can't stay.
I can't
STAY.