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Robert Ueda May 2013
“I guess she wanted a real life or something
I don’t know”

Spoken by a grown man in his middle years in reference to a woman leaving her husband. As if the desire for a “real life” were such an absurdity. How profound this world is becoming in its mundanity. Profound mundanity. Deranged normality. Oxymoron’s galore my friends.
Robert Ueda May 2013
There he lay
Torn and twisted
Kin to the kinless
Bearing the shackles of understanding
And that mighty burden of logic
Seamless, yet perpetually aimless
Another cog in the two legged clockwork
Tearing apart the universe one molecule at a time
Alive
Robert Ueda May 2013
It was then

In that park that day
Light breeze
Perfect pre-summer scene
That I realized I was quite diseased

As I sat pondering
The photogenic aspect of my drink in the grass
As it was spilling out
I am indeed modern at last
Robert Ueda Jul 2013
Today my tears
Hit the floor of a chapel
Not for the past
But for what may come after

Alone and empty
In the garden of Eden
A sheep in wolves clothing
Searching for a pastor

Father, I feel your pain
To sigh as you wake up again
Your scars are physical
Mine are inside

We’ve been struck at the heart
Made crippled and blind
But too different in our battles
Are you and I

To feel empathy for another
Or understand why we cry
It torments us
And gives birth to divide

And so we walk together
In separate directions

Alone
In the worst of company
Praying silently
For a bullet’s comforting

"Such is life"
And “ashes to ashes"
"**** the *******"
"Now is all that matters"

All the modern philosophy
In all of the world
Could never repair now
What has been indefinitely torn
Robert Ueda May 2013
Amidst the fields of gray he stood…

Sinning.
Robert Ueda Oct 2014
Foot hits the pavement
Alleviating impatience
Lighter than a feather
To better cushion the jaded

Stomping through the cemetery
The behemoth breaks his back
Stumbling over tombstones
Seemingly jagged in every crack

A man, half a monster,
Half a mouse, mostly bleeding
Drowning in the oxygen bank
Indian given breathing

When the rabbits loose their roots
Aside trees what speak and breathe
The kings are parted out
While the beasts break even clean
Copyright © by Robert Ueda 2014
Robert Ueda May 2013
There we were
In the midst of an oriental expose
More like a permanent museum display

The history of our foundation here in the West
Build on the backs of the yellow and black
Only I prefer to keep clear of the festering beast that is Oakland at high noon

No
This was someplace stranger
Chinatown, San Francisco

A soy canker in the greasy mouth of America
In some circles this was the closest thing to an escape
Or the closest thing to internment

It’s all about perception
A pompous soccer mom/beast attempting culture meanders through the local chaos
Green beans or shallots tonight?

A psychedelic mess with an unwarranted response
Could she handle the absurdity?
I care not, choose the latter sweetheart

“Shallots”
A strange almost interaction from an obscure point of view. Yes, i recommended shallots to a stranger.
Robert Ueda May 2013
And sometimes I drive by your place

Just to see if you

Can feel me care

Like love is some kind of

Proximal lifeline

Oh sweetheart

Demons don’t listen to prayer
Robert Ueda Nov 2013
Tinker, tailor, soldier, ****
Still on the wrong end of a gun, and
I feel like a walking phallus-y, spelled with a "ph"
A balancing act on a ballast beam

I'm sick of splitting pills
Like splitting hairs
Over an equal piece of the same share
I'm sick of playing fair

Like alliteration taught to an illiterate
In a post-biblical nation
I’m trying on your patience

And the monstrosity that is my social viscosity
Is borne consciously
Proceed cautiously

But who would I be without the depravity?
The sick and sadder me?
Another puzzle piece probably
Resigned to believe his beliefs aren't faulty
******' salty, and
Steeped in a brine of designer beef and corn feed
Too yellow to bleed

No

When I speak, I beg you to see
Suffering is a similarity, synonymous with life
So proudly riddled with strife, I spit
This wisdom demands sacrifice
Robert Ueda Nov 2014
Stoners go hippie with the sticky sweet smoke
Dope-wicked hope stricken trippin' sinners don't choke
Sellouts sell jail cells in the cellar downstairs
Hairs-frayed-from-hairspray stricken sisters don't care
Tell me where are the werewolves wearing skin overcoats?
Not a body dare boast that their coast is a host
For a problem don't got one when the team boat won't row
Don't tell me you got hope when the dough runs the show
Don't tell me that you care when to sin is to share
Don't ever tell me that you know when your love never show
You're ******' ******-gut, up-chucking sick
Don't ya know?
Robert Ueda Jun 2013
With aura immaculate
Loved me did she
Open my eyes
Ms. Ellis D

She knows my brothers
From days long past
Strewn across the sky
In heavenly white

We lie like lovers
For just this night
With the promise of tomorrow
Far from sight
Robert Ueda Sep 2013
The eyes in the woodwork sang to me
The eyes in the woodwork sang
The eyes in the woodwork cried out to me
The eyes of the wood were in pain

Don't hurt me brother
Or ever another
The woodwork spoke in shame

And man said no
And beast said no

This is Mother's game
Robert Ueda May 2013
“Functional"*

  I’m a logical drinker. During the day you will find me taking in all that this life has to offer. Only during the twilight hours when the world is still will you find me belligerent and alone, pushing down the darkness of my mind and overbearing imagination. For at this time there is nothing left to be learned from my masochistic point of view. Only slow reality to feel, and my god does it sting. But only in that moment. We mustn't forget. Tomorrow is a big day.
Robert Ueda Jun 2013
A game of lies
Spoken between the lines
And it all boils down to
Who knows who
Who knows you?
You know Sue?
She's real new
I heard from Stacy
She's got a man or two
***** **** for *****
But sits on a pew
Every Sunday
And confesses her sins
With her slate wiped clean
She does it all again
Wearing a grin

What nerve to think
Life's a free for all
As long as you pray
On your knees everyday
Six days show the truth
Unholy, and without shame
But on the seventh
Your god takes his claim
Who knows
Maybe he likes this game
Maybe god's sick in the head
Who are we to say


Why the games?
Why this life?
Nobody knows
That's just how it goes
It's a game of thrones
And a kingdom of lies

Daddy's caught up in the throes
Of a coke head fantasy
Mommy's all alone
Seeking comfort in the Hennessy
And children are born
As a result of the adultery
We call those game pieces
Pawns from an old game
Old flames and new tricks
Come back to haunt you
And your new fix

Girls to moms
Baby food and fresh kicks
For Christmas
Grown women
Or old girls?
**** if I know
But it’s the kids that suffer
Growing up
With tears for supper
Until they became cold
****** around and got old
At the age of sixteen
Old souls
Or so it seems
This is the world we live in
Not even the worst
Third world tragedies
Fronting like
First world prodigies
With only songs of sorrow to sing
We are the American dream
Robert Ueda May 2013
In want of a headspace
For to keep up with my thought pace
An infinite cerebral landscape
The consciousness reels and writhes through the labyrinth
Sixty five BPM’s crack the whip
Twist and turns
Indian carpets and Egyptian urns
Irrelevent
Upon starry eyed fairytales they stand
Architecture of a madman
Brick and mortar
Psychedelic caulking
Foundation
Screaming defiance against creation
Murals
Whispering fears of damnation
Wake up mate
It’s just your imagination
I know.
Robert Ueda Jun 2013
Treat your mother like your flesh
Your sister like a brother
Your daughter like a mother
And your lover like none other

Be wary of a woman’s love
But not out of scorn
For hell hath no darkness
Like a woman forlorn
Robert Ueda May 2013
A sonnet to my sins
Hopeful hopelessness
Akin to Les Mis

Hypocrisy thy name is
Was I really a drunk?
A toss-away punk, caught up in the funk?

Barreling down the asphalt human landing strip
Looking back but seeing nothing behind
Self replicating machine elves on the mind

Give in
Drop out
Tune in
Hypocrisy thy name is
Robert Ueda Jun 2013
I am I
You are you
But we are they
And they are all
And all are it
And it is wild

But I am I
And you are you
And I am good
And you are pure

She loves him
And he loves god
He'll grow old
And she'll go on

Still they are we
And we are it
And it, it runs
It does not walk

It charges blind
Into the dark
Without remorse
And without thought
Robert Ueda May 2013
Little Dummy sang alone
But Little Dummy
Could carry a tone

Nobody out there
Would ever care
If Little Dummy
Was here or there

Because Little Dummy couldn't read
He could never grasp how
Worth was printed on a sheet

To pass or fail
How asinine?
So Little Dummy
Was left behind

Without a glance
Or care from the world
Little Dummy
Put to rest his soul

His beauty never seen
By a thoughtless society
Little Dummy
Would never again sing
Robert Ueda Sep 2013
And as I walk through the valley of the shadow of flesh
I shall fear no evil
For who am I but another person amongst the people?


And who are you but a sibling and an equal?
As such we should be treated.
To get respect it must be given

Though never was I to worship
Stories for the cradle
If you should show me Cain,
I’ll gladly show you Abel.

For nature is neither sane nor stable
And nor am I
And nor should you be
Breathe free and die beautifully
Robert Ueda Jun 2013
You're dazed and confused
Bought and then used
Corrupt in the mind
A vessel to abuse

Second star right
Shine bright
You're alright

It's an illusion
It's a crack pipe
In an alleyway
On a dark night

Morbid and tragic
Stereotypical speech addict
I've had it

This writing is pointless
Sorrow sickness and coitus
Truer words never spoken
Inner awareness awoken

What does it change?
How much time did it take?
None

A thought to some
A world to one
Like a book to a nun

Go to sleep now
It's bed time
And I'm done
Robert Ueda Apr 2013
One's and Three's

Grammatically obscene
To be one and to be three
To be it and to be them
A me and a we

A lonely *******
Natures experiments gone wrong
The beast dances with man
And the man cries in awe

But the man shows the soul
And the soul feels it all
But cannot take it in
It’s conscious wails within

The beast thinks he wins
But without purpose is he
To the soul he will reach
But with the hopeless he sleeps

So the animal is free
The man lets us see
And the soul makes us wonder
But all three suffer

For each others role we fiend
In silence i scream
So jealous are we
Robert Ueda May 2013
To be in love is a commodity, a luxury.

It is not necessary to be subservient to another, nor is it convenient.
Only fleetingly pleasurable.

Immensely so, perhaps the greatest indulgence conceived, but costly still.
Happiness is not defined by it.

To know when to allow yourself the privilege and when to let go is to be comfortable and confident in self, to allow affection to be a necessity is to be an addict, in the most mundane of ways.

Testament of a cynic.

Battle cry of the hopeful
Robert Ueda Jun 2013
A crow sits all alone
In company
A room full of brothers
Sisters
A lover
Savoring the sweet melancholy

Pushing out the poison
Of another times misery
The midnight rainbows
Dripping from the lips of the forgotten
Paints a portrait
Of a broken backs history

But how else should he bleed
The need to feed
Is a most beautiful mystery

So sing porch crow, sing
Let the world go
In good company
There’s no need to think

So sing old soul, sing
Brother, we don’t mind
There I was, sitting in some kind of weird post-modern cult of the dispossessed and stray youth. Jammin' on a beat up Yamaha acoustic, the porch crow crooned and I heard.
Robert Ueda May 2013
Waiting
And waiting

Press play

Repeat
After repeat

Tremors in the wavelength
Auras glisten and shine

There goes the time
****, there goes my mind

Six twenty three
Sun sets in suburbia

Pink!
Mother Earth, what a radiant shade

My humble sinister streets
Breathing newfound life

I’ve been here a thousand times
Never have I seen this before

Walk with me Brother
Bring along your Lover
She’s no stranger to me

Strangers don’t exist
Psychedelic fantasy

Eyes shut to the physical
Eye opens at the pineal

Dance in the comfortable darkness
Sway to the new-age hippie acoustic

Two young tree nymphs
Bending and twisting
Loving and mixing

A soft-core *****
Close curtain
Open eyes

The stage but a well beaten trail
Fingers dancing in the dirt
Oh well
It’s getting around that time
Robert Ueda Nov 2014
Mirrors for mirrors
Diaries for dust
Dead men for militants
Martyrs for rust

Tears over trophies
Prizes for price tags
Lawmakers for lovers son
Lies while the time lags

Up is quite down
But two is still two
Question me not
I said I love you
Robert Ueda Oct 2013
Foggy scribblings of last nights misinterpretations
                                                            Scattered chairs

Cotton flesh and torn stitching
                                                  Doggy dandruff

Burnt air, Bic lighters and crooked intentions
                                    Ashes to ashes

Soldiers marching in silence
                       Keep moving

Layabout possessions and broken things
A roof, at least
Robert Ueda Nov 2013
She real cruel
She go hard, but
She speak sharp

She got heart

She spit fire, no
She ain't tired
She no fool

She real cruel
A little play on "We Real Cool"
Sin
Robert Ueda May 2013
Sin
Addiction is a battle

But in me it was more so

Much like a war

I had a love triangle

With whiskey and Norco

And god I knew it was bad

But still it’s so

My will was so…

No.

My soul was still hurtin’

Man when this pain

Gets inside you

It eats you up

And alive you

Can’t help but to scream

And tears pour down

Like the rain

And you’re

Not at once safe

Not even in dreams

I fiend

For the bottle again

For the pills

Just one win

Not again

But ****

How I loved to sin
Alcoholism. Opiates. Painkillers. Medicine for depression, prescribed by one Dr. Me. Send this **** back to lab boys, side effects include suicide.
Robert Ueda Nov 2014
Tell me
What is the role of your soul?
Will you be bold when you're old?
Or will you die quite alone
With a heart full of gold
Much like a buried treasure
Never to be found
Do you skirt around the sound
Or get down with the crowd?

What is
The end that you desire?
Do you define life by it?
Or is the angel a liar?
Are you scared or prepared?
A parade or a pyre?
It doesn't matter much
Just a flame to the fire

A match for the ashes
Tears for a tale
Tell me only what you wish love
I speak only braille
Misunderstood quite often
The object is not talking
It's a story for a siren
Only the deaf are left walking
Robert Ueda Sep 2013
Thinking when I'm not speaking
Dreaming when I'm not sleeping
Holding my tongue
But internally i'm screaming

Its a wonder all these things that I'm feeling
Don't make me force my own bleeding
Or stop me from breathing

It seems they live within my skin
Internalized karma killers
They say the good die young
Well the old are our pillars

So where does that leave us?
Snorting coke of the same mantle
From which we worship Jesus

Castles made of sand
Are the realty of the land
In between the paint and plaster
Huddle humorless laughter castors

And in between the organic plastic
Is where my hope lies
So long as they stay focused
Keep their mind clear and open

But who knows when
Change will come about
Like a siren to the deaf
It's silent when it shouts

The thoughtless opinion population
Sleep in the mire they were raised in
Like cave men
Not daring to walk the paths less taken
Robert Ueda Jul 2013
O Mother
Who so violent and beautiful

Lively, lush, and serene
In youth gone past

O Mother
How much longer shall you last

Once only revolutions
Alone and at ease

As time would have it
Your life grew to breed
Your tears rained upon us
Our only desire to feed

O Mother how we forsake you
We perceived God up above

But below us is He
And He is a She
In the warm dirt
And in the soft breeze

It's you dear Mother
I wish others to see

But watch my Caretaker
Dry your tears
In your lonely revolutions
I have felt your fears

Will the children abandon home?
Will the life that you bred
Forget it has roots
And leave you alone?

It is not for me to say
But I have seen my brothers
And I have seen my sisters
And I beg them to remember

The deep chill of December
The fragrance of the Fall
The Pacific in the summer
The vibrant life around us all

And as I breathe
So do I love you
And as I love you
So do you heal

We are young yet Mother
We have much to learn still
Robert Ueda Jun 2013
Hold down the rhythm
For the songs unsung
Upon an empty dance floor
All the while fixing to be hung
Bite the bullet
Lest you bite your tongue

It's a lonely two step
In four count time
To the beat of one drum
And a nursery rhyme

Should you dance with the devil
You may dance forever
Should you reach for the angels
You'll find your grip severed

We look with fear
Into the darkness forever
And the path behind
Into the storms we've weathered

And we feel all at once
Trapped in our skin
Ready for a funeral
Before life begins

But you can't stop the dance
You can't stop the fight
Stuck up in a trance
You push through the night

For the world lives in balance
With a negative eye
But you still fill with hope
As you look to the sky

So dance brother now
No matter the pain
Sing sister sing
As your tears fall like rain

To the rhythm of life
With its days and its nights
Never give in
Till they shut off the lights
Robert Ueda Jul 2013
Bear traps and snares?
My dear, who cares?

Penetrating darkness
And tortures heartless
I could sleep through that
And dream regardless

La dee da
Boo biddy by
I don’t scare easy
My sweetie pie

I laugh at pain
I walk on nails
But I’ll tell you now
What turns me pale

What shakes my soul
It’s most profound
In every day
And every sound

It beckons my smile
And sleeps in my tears
My dearest, your love
Is the sum of my fears
Robert Ueda Nov 2013
“This Heart”

The heart bleeds black India
Though not through a vein
It's said the flesh is the sanctuary
For a soul led astray

Yet the heart is the library
Decrepit and ancient
Where the scars are the manuscripts
Collected with patience

Filled with love songs forsaken
Next to books with blank pages
For plays yet to come
Upon immaculate stages

To the melodies of mortals
With their highs and their lows
And a chorus of angels
Of which some fell below, and

Within this binding you weep, yet
At the same time you shine, for
In this heart were you born, so
In this heart should you die
This is an edit on my previous poem "My Heart Bleeds Black India".
Robert Ueda Nov 2013
Oh proud engineer of eternity
Seam of reality
Stitch of the universe
Go forth

Cross those barren wastelands
Composed of the flesh of your kin
All of what was

Sail those tumultuous seas
That lifeblood of Cronos, Father Time
All of what is

And find yourself naturally to a shore
For that shore is your shore
Though the bank not of sand,
But of finely woven threads

The threads of reality itself,
A blossom of life amidst the swirling tides of time.

And you shall break onto that shore,
A behemoth bred of circumstance,
For you are this moment!

And with all the might of a whisper,
A syllable and a heartbeat,
A spike and dip of glorious emotion and sensation,
Shall you impress yourself onto the fabric of life

And all at once release.

Recede with pride,
Backwards through that sea, once spiteful, now docile
Drift into that void what harbors all things once seen,
And with peace,
Await all that remains
Robert Ueda Jun 2013
With eyes open
Blind
With ears alert
Deaf
Voice strong
For he does not speak

Hands held high
Spread out towards the horizons
******* to the sky
Fists clenched tight

He basks in utter silence

In the tomb of his mind
Rests a single flame
Aside his soul
Here does he reign
Robert Ueda Oct 2014
Tiers set to impress
Stress best the tears and ***
Together or separate
Still a well coveted mess

But the best of the rest
Catch death by way of breath
Followed closely by movement
From the mouth, teeth, and neck

Word upon words
Precipitate from pain
Chasing hollow hope-ways
Where fears fall free like rain

Yet while the inner chapel's laughter
Does mock every sinner's chapter
Internal combustion musters
The will to breathe soon after
Copyright © by Robert Ueda 2014
Robert Ueda May 2013
Logic tipped with poison
Passion with a purpose

To manipulate the puppeteers strings
Perched on insanity’s brink

To give love freely
To feel but not always to think

With the mind of my father
The heart of my mother

Trust me
I dare you
This is the configuration of my mind and the result of my heritage.
Robert Ueda May 2013
Johnny the ball player
Billy the kid
Suzy the busy body
Is best friends with Liz

John is a lawyer
William's a father
Susan's divorced
She feels like God forgot her

Where are her friends now
Elizabeth can't be bothered
She's dying alone
Government cannon fodder

Days long forgotten
Of a sunrise without pain
Hope lies in youth
Hate lives in age

Why can’t we all share
Like Mother once taught us
Why do we die
For the money, more dollars

If we could see ourselves now
Through the eyes of our past
We would cry two tears
For the loss of the first
And the birth of the last
Robert Ueda Jun 2013
Weigh anchor
Hold me against the tide
Steadfast now love
It seems your time has come

A fleeting moment
Stretched across months
Your time was precious
Like diamonds in the rough
Mine only less than

Or so it seemed
Swaying in murky water
You’re lost without a paddle
At least you had the time
To hold my hand through the battle

I’d save you if I could
But reaching hands catch
No butterflies without want for a captor
Why do you do this alone?
Have you no thought for the after?
End up with a *******
It seems to be about you
My only wish in this world
Is to hear your laughter
And be wrong about everything in this passage
Love hurts guys
Robert Ueda May 2013
I’m psychosexual
But somehow
A hyper-intellectual
It’s like a festival
All up in my mind

Fueled by love, lust, rage, maybe hate
Lysergic acid
Diethylamide
Hopeless dreams and psilocybe

I would entice you
To look inside
But I’d fear for your sanity
It’s no place for the blind

I once thought of ending it
Closing the blinds
On a cold winters eve
In the dead of night

The bottle in my hand
I broke the glass
No liquid came out
I was drunk off my ***

This was how I was
Or perhaps how I am
I question everyday
If this was part of the plan

Cuts all up my arm
I’ve always said self-harm
Was for the weak and twisted
With their minds tangled like yarn

But now I see truth
I’m an agnostic
All I need was proof
I’m a concrete home with no roof

I’m a writer, a brother
A musician and a lover
I’m a man and a boy
An old soul that never knew joy

She was momma’s little angel
Starry eyed with her dreams
Turned *******
******* randoms for the fiend

A hopeless romantic
His heart sealed up hermetically
He strung himself up when she spat out
“You’re pathetic”, apathetically

What a broken society
It’s the norm to suffer
It’s a personality flaw
To give a **** about another

This is why I’m insane
You see why I’m a ******* ******?
Always getting caught up screaming
“I’m just trying to do the right thing, you know?”

A semi-****** voice
I’m perpetually trying to shut up
Showing compassion for others
Only made me an altruistic ****-up

So now you see
What happens when you read in-between
These are my minds insides
I hope they made you scream

But I only brought you to the doorstep
Would you dare to step in?
All I can tell you is
I never made it out

There are true monsters within
I wrote this morning on a whim, turned out being something I really took pride in writing out. Probably one of my better pieces.
Robert Ueda Aug 2013
She was a hellaciously hard hittin’ heart stopper

A semi-sophisticated mother/daughter

My complex candy coated no-LSD dropper
Robert Ueda Aug 2013
Crash on through?

Or tread carefully?

Walking on broken glass

Suffering is a similiarity

Synonymous with life

It’s the opalescent tragedy

Walking to the grave

With an instruction manual

Predictable but pleasurable

Like the ****** animal

Or like the rain is annual

Dare take the road less worn?

With your comfort coat shorn?

Alone is a storm?

Forlorn and forewarned

You prefer to stay warm
Robert Ueda Jun 2013
We're Selling Our Focus
Ten dollar hokus pocus
And you're loaded

Bing Bang Boom
You know this

How familiar
This pipe smokin'

Chemical explosions
And brain cell erosion

Numbness in the night time
Sickness in the bright time
Pride in your peers eyes
Until you finally realize

You cant see
You're blind
You cant hear
Your own mind

Nerve synapses snapping
Emotional waves crashing

You're too young
To NEED the left lung

Now you're lost
You're songs go unsung

It's not a warning
Its a mural

Its a photo
Not the future

And those who ran once keep running
And those walk sit wondering

How the other half live
Coming up
Screaming
This is it

Fall down the rabbit hole
It's like an **** in heat
If you cant beat em join em
We'll just plant another seed

— The End —