what is it called when you have a surge of emotions coming out of you but you don’t have words at all for it?

it's another type of extreme pressure you just feel pushing your chest down until it is almost like you cannot breathe you cannot hear you cannot speak. like you're dying

the blame is always for those with big hearts. those who feel more than other people. those who think too much about what is to come and what has happened. those with the disability to juggle all the burdens that they have and the responsibility to cater all other people's needs.

in this era, it is never safe for any girl to be compassion and affectionate. (putting up a border will automatically mean that the girl hates him and refuses to talk to the guys.) these words are often associated with lust and seduction, however, only those with little knowledge will stand firm on that. having extra empathy should be encouraged in this evil and full of hatred generation.

aku tak faham kenapa aku dipersalahkan 'tika aku mahu membantu mereka yang aku sangka memerlukan? kenapa sentiasa ada pihak yang akan membangkang pendapatku, mempersoalankan keputusanku?

this age of young adulthood is for us to attempt multiple trials and face a million mistakes in order to be a successful adult which will then lead a successful generation.

i really wish one day, someone will understand that i want to be able to make my own decisions, independent and successful. i want to prove to all those who underestimated me that i can take good care of myself despite the sickness i have.

I'm scrambling trying to find the pieces
And I would like to say a few things
1)  I'm sorry
I start to see the fear of what made me
What made me will break me
I carry this familiarity like a knife to my skin
And I'm scrambling to fill the bleeding holes with the very things that Caused them to bleed
I am thoroughly convinced I could destroy an entire city with my hands
Which brings me to point two
2) Don't take it personally if I stay three steps away when you come close
I'm a ticking tomb in a building that starts to burn when I crumble
My mind is the building
Every story
Every window
A part of the person I used to be
3) I don't want to die
I still can't figure out if the building is the people I love
Or if it's myself
But It  burns just the same
I don't want to die

my mom apologized for being sick and not able to get out of bed. and so right now, i really don't know what to feel but can i apologize for dying too early?

being the eldest daughter i am, i am afraid of the thought of losing my mom and dad due to any sort of sickness. not that i don't believe in God's wills, but i really wish they'd be there for my graduation, my marriage, my life as i grow older - if i even get there. anyhow, my younger siblings wouldn't be able to survive without my parents. both of them are sick now, for quite a not so old and still not so young age, they're already sick. being sick is is torturing for some. i can't bear seeing my parents suffer from those anymore. i'd rather contain all of their sickness and never reach 25;

i knew it was for me the moment it was up on your status.

knowing you, i'm pretty sure it means more than the literal definition of the word itself.

the moment the lyrics started flashing before my eyes, i was 100% sure that it was for me. every single word uttered by the singer was directed to me. guilt is what i am feeling but i shouldn't and i can't.

now all i feel like doing is cut myself until it heals.

and blame me for my scars, it was meant to be - hiding beneath my skin for so long, it needed to breathe. i gave what i thought it needed, but it wasn't enough. and now i am falling, why isn't it rough?

Mistake.
A miss taken.
A misstep taken.
A misstep is all it takes.
A misstep takes it all.
Take a misstep, all breaks.
A misstep is all it takes to break.
A misstep is all it takes to break your spirit.

Do you know the feeling
of adding onto a mistake?
Switching, twisting, making it more appealing,
but no matter what you make,
what it used to be leaves an imprint on the paper.
Black on white.
Wrong on right.

Don’t you wish it wasn’t so?

But you can’t delete your save data, like in some game.
You can’t just start over, blank slate, new avatar, new name.
The system will never forget;
On that, you can place your bet.
And in case you’re wondering why...

Regret.

Like a whirlpool out of control,
like a rampant snowball,
runaway, amassing all
intrusive memories it can gather,
moments and details you would rather
forget, but the fact that you remember makes you madder!
And it is as such with all matter.

Mistakes leave a stain
on your brain.
Wipe the muck?
No such luck.
Because that’s not how the world works, you see?
The way of the universe is entropy.

hi, welcome to our world,
you must be new.
i'm sure it sounds exciting;
but let me explain something to you.
you're a girl so
things are a bit more tough.
things are hard when nobody listens
when you say "enough is enough."
it's almost like you can't say no--
wait, that's not it.
it's more that when you say that word
they still don't quit.
opinions run rampant--
nothing you ever do or say will satisfy them.
"them" being not only girls tearing each other apart,
it's also men.
this idea of "them" is that you're being attacked,
physically, verbally... it doesn't matter.
they say you have too much makeup,
your stomach should be flatter.
and then it's the clothes...
you wear too much and you're a *****,
too little and you're a ***,
might as well be ****.
like to flirt?
too bad, you put out.
like to keep to yourself?
you're a *****, no doubt.
there's no such thing as winning,
in our society today.
but please, have fun!
enjoy your stay.