crying over a boy
introduces a new sadness
to your
nearly dry tear ducts

sure, you cry
over the bachelor
or a nicholas sparks
novel
but when the boy
is real
and tangible
losing him
hits
harder

you'd grown accustomed
to him
seeing him smile
watching his adam's apple
bob in his throat
when he laughed
hearing him sing
in the car
hearing him
breathe

he was alive

and you'd drop everything
when his name was the one
on your phone screen

you'd try to respond
as soon as you could
because then he could
respond
sooner

you weren't afraid
of running him off
because you knew
he would never leave

so when he did
you had to adjust

seeing someone
whose smile was
just barely
his
would break you

making your friends
laugh
but only wanting to hear
that strange and subtle
way
he would laugh

singing along to the radio
despite knowing
that he'll never know
the lyrics to your song
and you'll never
get to laugh about it
with him

breathing
even though
it hurts

even though he's gone
you still check your notifications
for his name

and you realize
maybe he ran away
because you
weren't worth the chase

and your boy tears
stain your face

revealing the patches
where your foundation
once was