Aug 2016
She is strength personified.
She battles depression and anxiety,
and keeps a smile on her face.
She's been through heartbreak after heartbreak.
She has seen dark,
but she always sought out the light.
She's seen so much damaged.
Three car wrecks,
a boy who took advantage of her,
and a million lies that caused a million heartbreaks.
She has come out of it all with only a few scars.
She'***** her lowest point,
and still reaches for her highest.
When even the people who raised her chose not to understand,
she still kept pushing through.
She refused to give up.
She kept believing.
She always loved.
And she always forgave those who hurt her.
She is strength.
She will not fail.
She will not fall.
But if by chance she does,
she will get up and try again.
Because she is strength,
and I am her.
She battles depression and anxiety,
and keeps a smile on her face.
She's been through heartbreak after heartbreak.
She has seen dark,
but she always sought out the light.
She's seen so much damaged.
Three car wrecks,
a boy who took advantage of her,
and a million lies that caused a million heartbreaks.
She has come out of it all with only a few scars.
She'***** her lowest point,
and still reaches for her highest.
When even the people who raised her chose not to understand,
she still kept pushing through.
She refused to give up.
She kept believing.
She always loved.
And she always forgave those who hurt her.
She is strength.
She will not fail.
She will not fall.
But if by chance she does,
she will get up and try again.
Because she is strength,
and I am her.
Okay so this is the story behind this poem.. My whole life people looked at me like I was sort of pathetic. My parents were together unlike most, they didn't severely beat me, I didn't have many issues with my health.. so in everyone's eyes I was perfectly fine. But beneath the surface, something was not right. I had crazy irrational fears as a kid that faded away as I got older, but turned into bigger fears. I also became insanely insecure because one I reached higher grades I was picked on about my looks and my clothes (we didn't have much money growing up). This made me crave love. I wanted to be in love and to be love so badly. So I settled first for someone who only wanted me around when other girls turned him down, then I settled for a guy who I ended up being in a relationship for awhile and he did so much that I don't even really want to talk about it. He just really took advantage of me and was extremely forceful, and he made me feel completely worthless. After we broke up, I decided to swear off love, but I fell in love anyways and the guy I got into a relationship was a little younger than me so he was really immature and made some dumb mistake that really hurt me, but I forgave him and he turned into an AMAZING man who I am marrying soon. And about the car wreck part, I was in a pretty awful wreck when I was 4 and my oldest sister saved my life. It was so bad that my other sister broke her back and my dad broke his sternum. It caused me to have a lot of anxiety about cars. Then years past and last year around february I was in a wreck with my boyfriend but we were okay (I just developed more fear of cars then). Then in November of last year a drunk driver hit my boyfriend, his little brother, and I while we were driving to meet up with his family and everyone was extremely shocked that I didn't get severely injured or die since I was in the middle of the truck and got most of the impact. this caused the anxiety I have today of cars and being on the road which sometimes causes me to have panic attacks when I'm in vehicles. Sometimes I look at everything that has happened to me, and it breaks me because I realize that it could all happen again or I think so lowly of myself for some of the things that happened. But other times I think to myself "You have SURVIVED so much. Most people would've broken completely by now. You are strong!". So I decided to write a poem to explain how I feel on my positive days. (: I still battle depression and anxiety daily, but I won't let either of them win.
