Miranda

Miranda May 2014

August brought the chilly weather
And the buds of blooming leaves
But you brought the tears to my eyes
And the knowledge that I wasn’t free

December brings snow-covered grounds
And the perfect weather for cuddling
But you brought your hands and that sadistic grin
And made it the perfect weather for smuggling

April brings the shining sun
With flowers popping up from the ground
But with you, came the gray skies
And all hope of being saved was profound

July brought the sun
And the heat with it too
But you brought the insecurities
And the feelings that I wouldn't ‘do’

July said ‘Goodbye’ and moved into August
Giving me hope anew
And with their farewells, just like the seasons,
I said goodbye too.

#goodbye #change #too #seasons #years #months #said #transitions

Miranda Mar 2014

Is This Heartbreak?

My chest is physically hurting.
But I haven’t cried.
I've yet to shed a tear, yet my eyes just want to flood.
She’s all he talks about.
And he barely even looks at me anymore.
I've never liked someone so much,
And now my heart is being torn.
How do I heel from this?
How can I keep him out?
How can I stop this hurting in my chest
And learn to live without?
What has he done to me?
I knew opening up was wrong.
He fed me lies and words I needed.
But never meant a single one.
He sat there, watching, amused by the convincing.
Flirting everyday, texting non-stop.
Making me believe that it was I that he had wanted.
But I wasn't
And I learned too late.
That I was just a conquest.
Another life to shake.

#heartbreak #life #thoughts #teens #conquest #loveandlost

Miranda Mar 2014

My Path

I'm taking a path; a long winding road.
Trying to find my place; my home.
I don't know where I'm at, there aren't any signs.
I took my own path, now I'm lost on the sidelines.
I don't know who I am; a constant search of mine.
I live out of daydreams with no sense of time.
I ignored all their demands, trying to become my own person.
But it backfired on me because now I don't feel human.
I used to be vibrant, happy, and fun.
Now I'm lucky to feel anything but numb.
Laughing used to be easy but now it's become a chore.
I need a way out; an exit; a door.
It's taken awhile but I've finally become guarded.
I've become a hard shell, yet I'm still kind-hearted.
This path is empty, aside from me.
I find myself thinking, "Is this how it's supposed to be?"
My life used to be a rainbow, not so dark and dreary.
It's hard to think back on memories without getting teary.
I've blocked everyone out, making them believe I don't care.
When secretly, I just want someone to help; to be there.
I've come to an opening at the top of the path;
I'm upon a hill, observing the lives I passed.
Wishing I was normal; wishing I was free.
But I'm not, because I've lost who I used to be.

#lost #path #who

Miranda Mar 2014

E.D (Eating Disorder)

When you're in your darkest hour,
I'll be there to knock you farther.
I'll make you believe I care.
It'll get so bad, you'll always need me there.
You'll say you hate me and try to leave,
But you'll come back as quick as you breathe.
You don't know it, but I've trapped you.
You want to tell someone but you don't know who.
I've made you think that no one wants you around.
You turn to me, unaware that I'm only going to knock you down.
Your friends try to help but I scare them away.
They see what you don't so you don't understand the hurtful words they say.
All this pain brings you closer to me.
You're too far in, now you'll never see.
You'll never go back to the girl you were before.
Because I've locker her away and took the key to the door.
I've made you believe that you were'nt pretty before you met me.
You thought you'd be strong enough to resist, you underestimated the power of an ED

#depression #pain #eatingdisorder #ana #mia #anorexia #bulimia

— The End —