you lay land mines on my safe space;
i try to retreat but they are too powerful.

your 'i love yous' hurt more than a rifle because
in the end
they mean nothing more than your promises.
both are broken and killing me piece by piece.

today,
i dodged one of your emotional land mines.
i am free, i am strong, i am me.

and you can't hurt me anymore.

ouch. that hurt.
we were in love.

you owned my body and i owned yours.
we knew every single thing about eachother.
i was your everything.

our pact meant the world.
the world meant out pact.

when you stopped loving me;
wait when was that again?
(something i will never know)

that day i became,
someone that walked past you in the hall,
someone who had to say sorry when they bumped you,
someone who had to walk out of a room when you walked in,
someone who didn't talk to you again,
someone who meant nothing.

i became a stranger.

i didn't recognize love at first,
he can in the shape of feminine, talkative yr 7 boy,
being yr 8 i wasn't particularly looking for love;  
tbh i was shying away.

he hid for a while; i kept denying his presence.
but love came, love was my best friend,

till one day.
may 1st.

love took me down a bush trail,
i cried my eyes out to love for hours,
told love i couldn't live without him.
love embodied a now yr 9 - cutest theatre kid.

love stuck by me for months,
love even stuck by me when i dated other guys.
love stopped me from many things; love kept me sane.

but love got tough.
i got demanding of love and love had enough.
i battled with love for a couple of months.
love made me cry myself to sleep many nights.

love left me.
he probably felt it wasn't the time.
he left me, drifting slowly and then all at once.

i was left without him but he promised to come back; i believe him.
who knows when i will see love next,
why, where, how.

maybe in a 18 yr smoker, with black nails.
maybe in a 23 yr uni student that vomits all over me.
maybe in 30 yr artist in the middle of times square.

sometimes he is obvious, sometimes in disguise
but i trust he will come when i am ready.

love's gone
but for now i have one message for love,

thank you for coming

ay me.
lady, lie down and cover thyself in fruits.
thou art as beautiful as thou art can kiss.

take all thyself, but don't mistreat my body.
lick thy fruits i have gifted you.
use thy pistol to make me surrender.

legs and arms spread, all touching thy ground.
kiss my neck and make thou way down.

her faced oozed frangelico;
a sweet reminder that she was top shelf.

you striped her skirt to the floor,
eyeing her chastity belt made of condoms.
unbeknownst to her father, you stole the key.

his shotgun alarmed you but not enough to stop.
the laws about minors stumped you but not enough to stop.

unlocking my belt, she prays.
on her knees.
mouth open.

she carefully places the cross that looms over her bed in the bin.
marriage can wait, this can't.
you realize in the morning God wasn't with you.
but the hole in your ****** was.