The first inductees were named I sat there half hung over and a stiff drink in the wait to  kick the party off once again.
The names were called and they were the people who actually started this site not just came long afterwards to pick the bones clean of a already dead animal that ones for you like button zombies.

They were all there Bathsheba ,Richard Shepard although his where is Waldo new persona had not allowed him to be seen yet again.
Chris Smith they were all announced minus one name that shown through the dark like a true beacon  of total debauchery  the man the myth the walking train wreck yours truly Gonzo.

After the announcement everyone made sure to give the lucky panel a good dose of the clap once I'm sure wasn't the first time some of are panel had encountered that.

What?,They are all excellent writers and deserve the applause get your mind out of the gutter you loveable pervez  you.

I knew there must have been some mistake so I approached the strange little **** who runs the show here to ask had my name been forgotten by mistake.

Hey there person I cant say your name or you will banish me to the hello closet with your co owner and life partner .
Yes Gonzo can I help you ?
The dark lord himself said in his usual why wont this ******* die and leave me alone little naughty  voice of his.

You mean in a ****** sense ****** ?
Adolf looked at me in his usal look of is this ******* insane or just ******* with me sense .

Look you misspelling ****** what the hell do you want?
For ****** and **** to become legal and Justin Biebers  head on a silver platter .

That is in such bad taste.
Yeah I replied I know maybe just the ****** thing cause that man **** is terrible have you ever seen deliverance?
Made me want to never go camping again I mean honestly why couldn't it have Mark Walberg being rode like a piggy mmm twisted .

Gonzo what the hell is wrong with you !?
Honestly Adolf to much to explain in this write I believe it all started when my mother sold me for crack yeah she only got like four rocks duh I'm at least worth ten what a ***** love ya mom.  

I swear you drunken perverted halfwit if you don't just get to the point I'm going to shoot you myself you insane ******* .

I was shocked by these words never had anyone said such nice things about me with there outside voice once was strange being we were inside at the holiday Inn convention center deep in the mental wasteland called Ohio .
Yeah I know why Ohio?
Well cause Hello has no money that's why we beg more than those cheap hookers at PBS.

But enough with the foreplay children.

Adolf I will for once in my semi sober existence speak clearly .
Why the **** am I not a part of the ******* hall of fame being I was here from day ******* one before half the people who think there hot **** ever ******* were you ******* cyber ****!

Was that clear enough ?

I must have hit a chord for the mighty cyber warlord shot me a look of pure rage that made me wish I had brought my trusty **** whistle.
Sure   I know that no one will respond I just like blowing it the whistle that is cause Gonzo don't swing that way yeah sure there was that one summer in college and I know  what your thinking.

Gonzo went to college?
What it could happen hell were did you think I got my black belt in drinking?

Look you demented ****** you may have had a audience of perverts and teenage girls and demented old ladies who raise coyotes for there ******* job fooled into liking your work but I will never ever ever Put you into the Hello Hall Of Fame ever ever he continued on for awhile beating his little fist on the podium he was such a loveable little **** kind of a mix of Elton John and Martha Stewart.

So maybe next year ?
No ******* .
So what your saying is maybe after I'm dead and the world has gone into a state of thank the ******* Lord we don't have to read this long winded ******* work anymore  then maybe?

Don't you understand the word no?
Well being I hear it all the time from my teenage wife you think I would but hey I've learned like after some very manly crying and begging like a dog eventually  she caves  in or if I pay her like her other clients  .

I'm kidding I'm a writer I have no money.

It was clear this egg wasn't going to crack or go sunny side up for me now maybe get a little scrambled in-between as you sit there reading wondering what the **** is wrong with this guy writing this story on a poetry website.

It's cause I'm black isn't it Adolf ?
Do you own a mirror Gonzo?
Duh what do you think a snort my lines off of ******* besides  my heart is more black than that of any twisted freak ego maniac who enjoys a good drink and some even better hookers .

Look Gonzo I'm tired and I got to get out of here cause if we don't clear out we have to pay a late fee besides there's a star track convention waiting and you know how those nerds get when they when you put off them meeting there messiah William Shattner .

True those strange little hamsters were worse than rednecks at a monster truck show with no beer in sight.

I had to for once admit defeat Adolf held the keys and much like a hot ******* chick The Hello Hall Of Fame wasn't in my cards .
Yeah rules and stupid laws can be such a **** block.

I was broken so I did what any grown man in the same situation would do went to the bar and pouted in a corner and flipped all my old friends off then realized that the bar was filled with a bunch of Sci Fi nerds who kept wondering who the **** is that weird dude crying in his beer flipping everyone off.

And after one to many insults the nerds decided to go all Chuck Norris on my *** I'm kidding they threatened to call there parents and have them give me a good scolding and being it was the first time Mom and Dad  got them out of the basement this year I knew there would be hell to pay.

I looked deep into my darkened soul and had to think fast .
So I did what any good con man and half *** writer would do.
Told them I was Gene Roddenberry's son and signed autographs and took there free drinks and had a good ***** with a green chick .

And who said I didn't believe in happy endings .
Live long and stay crazy hamsters .

Gonzo

We sat there hung over and out of are minds in some no name dinner just outside of Austin .
Are thoughts ached from the party we sat there nursing lukewarm coffee no words spoken between us said more than any burnt out conversation could ever express .

I viewed my friend a madman who's spark had left him with  far to many vices and they had consumed his thoughts he no longer was the man behind the character he was the god dammed character.

I can't say where he lost it maybe between the ****** and ******* or the constant drinking binges the ******* seldom was clear and I learned I was no match for the train that was bound to leave the tracks at some time.  

Where to next amigo?
He asked looking at me through those sunglasses that seemed to never come off his head it was like a weird mask that was a permanent part of his self indulged existence .

I got to head back man , I found myself saying in a almost apologetic sense even though 'for my own mental health I truly had no other choice .

The drugs the nonstop train wreck existence of a candle burned at both ends wasn't in my cards and I had no desire to view this stranger I once called a friend crash and burn before my very eye's let alone take me down with him.

He simply looked into his black as night coffee and laughed to much for you is it old bud?
Hell John it's to much for me pal but I only understand full throttle and I been doing this **** to long to stop  now .

It's not all that Gonz I'm just ******* spent my minds bleeding from the last couple of days you ******* can't keep this **** up or you'll be dead you and I both know it .

Gonz just shook his head man your getting soft.
******* to much of that home cooking and regular ***** will warp you amigo not my kind of scene brother but I understand .

As he said those words I knew this was as close to a farewell  as I could ever expect he was going down the track and off the rails no matter who stood in his way or expressed there concern it truly didn't matter .

We finished are coffees tipped the waitress and said are goodbyes well as close to a goodbye as you could expect from this real life character the last of the true outlaws no matter how much I wished he would slow the **** down I knew in some ways it just wasn't the way **** was supposed to play out.

Standing there in his worn sports jacket fedora and shades he seemed a force of nature not a broken down madman most would consider him to be .

So where the hell you heading now you crazy ******* ?
He laughed that big laugh of his as always.
Opening both arms yet another gesture as big as the personality that truly was him .

Mexico brother!
Some crevasses some tequila some good well good in a bad way women it'll be a time that would make the devil himself blush sure you don't care to tag along drinks always on me brother.

In that moment I had to admit he could ******* the best of them  but considering my liver was already bleeding and my thoughts were burnt from a scene that would surely shock even the most jaded of us all I had to pass .

Maybe next time my friend .

I said knowing full well this would be the last time of course I could never count this madman out but I had to view from afar for my own sanity's.

Well brother your going to miss a hell of a time ,He said as he turned to head towards his car .

Some many outlaws rode of into the sunset while it seemed this walking circus of debauchery just preferred to stagger in the sunrise
Don't know what kept him going guess the ******* drugs helped .

He never bothered to wave goodbye as he squealed his tries  bound for hell and a last good time.
But as he always said there's nothing more corny in this life than looking back my brother .

Are farewells were unspoken and that I knew was the last I would ever see of the friend who had become the character again.

Adios brother.

This bar has seen the past as it has been washed clean by today.
Known the scars of fights past lingered in the moment only to  see it replay.

Old friends and past faces we've known together so many years now  I stand alone.
This bar is part of my soul as a ghost I remain long after my life and these doors come to a close.

To the raised glass and closing time dance .
Are waters have seen many a storm tomorrow will be no different my friends.  

Amber the whiskey gold held to light the pint glasses perfect hew .
Time has left us all fragmented time breaks the soul ,time is all that is the history of me and you.

A toast to the nights they paint magic without canvas my thoughts a evergreen signs of neon cast the best ******* shadows my dear.

This bar stands eternal a ghost as myself .
The fog holds mystery but none for you .

Closing time has come .

Cherish your thoughts for it's all we truly ever own my friends .

He stepped into the bar like a refugee finally hitting free land.
The cool washed over him as inevitably everyone turned around to see who was coming through the door.

You always saw people come through here during the summer the marina drew them in like flies to honey in this stranger was no different than the rest.
What can I help you with pal I asked knowing full well what his answer would be but hey it's my ******* job all right.

As I'd expected he was just here launching a boat .
The weather was perfect the water as smooth as glass but this man wasn't  out for enjoyment as I can see out the window at the dock his family waiting impatiently for him to get his *** out there and get this little family get-together on the road so to speak.

Want a beer bud , I asked.
Man I ******* wish might make this trip a little fun actually he said in a he wasn't really joking kind of manner.

It's always good to see someone stripped of their ***** a person who works there *** off all week only to be tortured just a little bit more on his off time maybe  that's why never had family or maybe I was just a self-centered ******* you probably agree with the latter.

So you off with the family for a little boat ride huh?
Yeah man I wish I was sitting here in this ice cold air conditioner drinking a even colder beer **** it would be nice, he said as no later did his new mother  better known as his wife opened the door.

David come on were  waiting so  get your *** in gear, The high-pitched speaking banshee yelled looking up at a room full of drunks in a repulsed manner such a charming woman no wonder this man had a look in his eyes like he rather chew through his own wrist then set sail with his charming wife and already bored and over it children.

I'm coming Gloria he replied as he looked back to me and rolled his eyes.
She slammed the door as she stomped off like a little child who'd been denied a toy from a store.

The man paid his launching fee  as he turned to leave I told him to wait.
As I poured a stiff double bourbon placing it down on the bar in front of him.

He looked at me, puzzled I didn't order that.
No my friend but you dam sure need it and I said to him.
Well I can argue with that one he took the shot kicked it back like a man wandering the desert who just discovered a oasis.

Hey man you know of any places out there on the sound that got really good views he asked me as I poured him another double.
Just then a just of age brunette walked to the bar in a pair of tight shorts and a  snug top and leaned over the bar hey there I'll have my usual she said shooting me and the stranger a smile that I'm sure had gotten her more than just prompt service before.

The poor sap stared at this young woman like a prisoner seeing some half naked young thing driving by in a convertible waving to him as he stood on the other side of the fence.

Well amigo as for the water I can't really say but from where I stand the ******* view is outstanding.

The guy took one last shot and headed out the door and as the launched his boat he nodded his head as he shot me a look like **** I wish  I was staying at the bar.

I just nodded my head and turned my back.
Yes for some the white picket fence the dog out in the front yard shtting all over their lawn screaming kids and wife who greet you every day when you get home and secretly plots to poison you or **** you in your sleep.

Yes that delusion cast dream may seem like a stable paradise for some.
But viewing the beautiful wicked little creature across the bar seemed a far better evening than one spent in a nonstop ******* purgatory.

Cheers stay crazy

Gonzo

Sometimes we have to go through hell just to understand were alive.
In that case I am doing great I do suppose .
I have seen friends vanish lost a website I created and ran for many a year lost readers and lost my mind on more than one occasion.

Sprinkle in a very bad accident on a motorcycle and you have the ingredients for a bang up year.

I find people are delusional when it comes to writing .
They think a contract means your life all the sudden changes for the better ,When in truth it is just the end of one struggle and the beginning of the next.

Problems never end but with any change there are just new problems .

My life is a ******* train wreck and I have played that full throttle lifestyle to my advantage for far to long .
But it was never a act there is nothing fake about me .

I live for I know every moment is uncertain and in that understanding I embrace every second.
Few people truly know me they either know what they have herd or simply make up the rest .

You cant waste time over the ignorant for as soon as you knock one down there are fifteen more standing in that fools exact same place.

**** them if they don't get you .

I have found more comfort in a night spent under the stars than in the company of those who would tell you there good intentions while placing a knife to your spine.

I'm a *******, a drunk ,A fool ,I am whatever you choose to label me
but I am always a hundred percent real .

Those who preach those who try to pretend they would point you in the right direction are full of pure crap .
I cant lead me so ******* if you think I could even begin to help you.

My road has taken me so far from everything I once thought I held dear.
Twisted my logic and weather beaten my soul.
Maybe I'm ****** up from life but no worse than the image that stares at you in the mirror you refuse to truly see so you place the labels on others .

Whatever make 's you feel less of a freak sweetheart is fine by me.


I  found that it's always uphill when you don't settle for what's there.
I never did listen worth a **** and I dam sure wont buy into someone else's ******* I would rather be a fool to my own guidance.

Take this as you will.

Sincerely  

Gonzo

I have existed a liar so pardon my bitter sweet intrusion this note of passing shall be a forward of my forgotten voice now a eco within a long since empty hall.

To lead takes no true direction just a gimmick and I have grown tired of the restraints that now scar my words.
They all want something far more than I will ever give.

May I shed light on my breakdown if you will reveal me your skeletons before you judge me for my own.
I hate the page for it is a twisted lover and cruel ***** when your in need.

Take comfort in the madness sundown will break us all to soon.
Time is a burden I have nothing more to prove yet everything to gain.
To toss aside the fruit others yearn to taste is the truest form of rebellion.
Or maybe just another fools act and I have know many in my time.

What started a hobby now is my vice poured regrets goes well with the taste of not giving a **** to begin with.
Curse my actions for you can never bury my words.

A simple epitaph could never convey the rage that is far to misunderstood .

I believe  I will leave you with a mystery for some riddles were not worth the time to solve I ask will mine weigh heavy as a long regret?

I right in the shadows for in there darkness I understand not all but the ultimate critic myself.

Last call is here.

The voices carry as they  do in cheap rooms with even cheaper company.
The smoke smell the after party lingers a moment lost in time and haunting my present like some strange ghost I simply except it cause I could give a **** less over what may soon to be.

People will break you only if you allow them to.

I always place the table near the window leaving my back to the door and can only imagine the view to the onlooker .
To those who cannot grasp what it is to create .

It's when my vices are on full display and the demons of my thoughts keep company with the angles who've embraced my bed .
Madness is a clever disguise to repel the foolish who believe themselves to be within the same class.

I never worry about keeping up I view my words a island that needs  no other to maintain my ego this ******* doing fine all his own.

Allow that little black dress sweetheart to fall aside and slither across the floor.
My passion isn't in a heart it's in excess and till death I do embrace with a devilish grin.

Never allow others to hang there ******* and regrets upon you.
Advise is like toilet paper great to wipe your *** with and nothing more.

I regret nothing I simply yean for more .

I hear the laughter and moans from a one night stand here the bitter pound on the walls jealous they no longer can taste the danger and pure joy of the pleasures from which life has since locked them out.

I simply poor another drink and continue this drive through the darkness do you ever miss it my dear as I no longer miss you?

Will you bury me in mystery or simply reminisce of times now washed clean as a summers southern rain.
I stand alone for none were willing to chase the failure such as I.
You cant half *** art my friends there's no safety in my tomorrow so I toast every day as it were my last.

I face the desk towards the window to embrace the dark a mistress for which my thirst I do surely never hope is quenched.
No drug is greater than the one that feeds air within your lungs .
Never doubt the words that flow first for backtracking is for the lost
and I find no direction leads you best when in doubt.

So many voices follow faces for which I never truly see .
tomorrow we will scatter in are directions and I will leave with the cliff notes of my madness and a hangovers emotion and her thoughts still warm in the emptiness I do love more than anyone.

A empty bottle upon the table and a scribbled note on the motel stationary.
Excuse the mess all hell broke lose .

Old friends and new vices often collide in the night.
Signed Sincerely

Just one of the many voices from down the hall.
In yet another now empty room.