"Once upon a time there was"
"no"
      "No"
            "NO"
"Many moons ago"
"There was a dreamer"
Who wished with all her heart,
To find the gold at the rainbows end,
She would look for clouds
Bursting
Up
High,
Her mother smiled.
"Are you still searching for that rainbows end"
"Pamela  your dreams are the clouds"
"Mummy a *** of gold I will find"
"For if you latch on to one"
"You will find yourself upon the other side""
Then one morning awoke to find a rainbow
Moving over her lawn,
Blouse,
Trousers,
Shoes
On too, she had packed a case
Encase this time did come true,
She slid down the banister
"Whoooooosh"
Through the front door,
Just as it was fading
Hands did grab hold,
She was surrounded by colours
Red,
                Orange
Yellow
                 Green
Blue
               Indigo
Violet
All were pure and bright, then with a
"Thump"
On her bottom she did land, surrounded
By beauty, plants the colours of the rainbow
"Blue leaves"
"Grass was orange"
Sky was all shades of the rainbow too,
A *** seen, gold did gleam,
Mouth wide open,
A violent fly flew in then out,
"Gross"
And she then quickly shut her mouth,
She was over the moon, the rainbow too,
She picked it up,
Lighter than she thought??
She picked one up
Put it too her mouth,
And bit,
It was squiggly in her mouth
"Gross"
Twice in two minutes,
She was
Sullen,
Grumpy,
Tears
Did cascade from little eyes,
They came out
Colours of the rainbow
Which lightened her mood,
She wiped her tears looked once, twice
Then hands upon the rainbow,
And whoosh, she landed with a
"Thump"
On next doors cow,
"MMmmmoooooo"
Went the cow,
"AAaahhhhhhh"
Went Pamela,
She ran with  a
Scare
And
Fright,
As in the distance still hearing the angry
"MMMmmoooooooooooo"
She ran to her house, opened the door,
"MUM"
"MUM"
"MUM"
With a fright her mum ran out,
"Pamela"
"My baby are you all right"
"I found the rainbow"
"I found the ***"
"I found a land of colour,"
"But the treasure wasn't right"
All said with in one breathe,
Now breath my angel,
As mother did take a coin
Opened it carefully and with the tip
Of here finger tasted it,
"MMmmmm"
So creamy, so light,
As she took her in the kitchen,
And the toaster minutes later
POPPED out,
Spreading it evenly, and eaten was
The toast crust and all,
"Mummy may I try one"
Pamela said
"Magic words my honey bear"
"Please may I try one"
And with that the toast again
POPPED out,
"MMmmmmmmm"
"My gosh mummy this tastes divine"
"You found a golden treasure that's for sure"
As they had toast each morning,
Opening a coin spreading it evenly,
"It was a taste to behold"
The treasure at the end of the rainbow,
Wasn't money, but I was something better
A taste that put a smile on faces
Every morning at *breakfast time.

You,
who used to touch me where I didn't want you to, reaching inside me, where I'd *never let anyone before, I was only eleven, I shouldn't of been treated like a *****...
   I hate you

You,
who took advantage of me, when I was just thirteen, taking what innocence and trust that I had left, breaking my spirit down to an empty shell...
   I hope you rot in H£LL

You,
who just watched what they did to me, judging me, saying it's my fault for dressing slutty. I was only fourteen...
I hope I'm never like you

You,
who made me believe I was not a used rag doll, gave me trust and hope, only to reach my sixteen year old core, then ripping it all to shreds like never before...
I'll never forgive you

You,
who said you loved me, made me think it was the real thing, helped me forget the past, at only eighteen, you gave me my wings and hope that it would last, then when you realized I just wasn't enough, you went and found some different lust, at twenty-five, you decided you wanted a new life,  but our kids mean the world to me, so I can't regret you, but I can erase your memory...
I hope she cheats on you

You,
who finally made me think I'd found the real thing, then broke me down, then picked me up just to throw me down again, over and over, then used the fragile remaining shards of my heart to cut out my soul and leave me falling apart...
I wish you nothing but pain and despair

You,
who I laugh and joke with now, who I wish to know more, who makes me scared I'll end up with a broken heart like before, who seems to truly care...
Please, don't forget how fragile I am
        
You,
who I may or may not have met yet, don't hurt me, don't make me regret. I won't be able to handle losing another, I wanna be happy with you, I wanna know forever...
**I hope you'll love me too

~

do you know the way
to the place her heart resides?
or does the beauty
of her face,
her shape,
blind you, as you to fail to find
the many hidden pathways
that will lead
to love that's meaningful;
obscured in the shadows,
the depth that makes her beautiful;
for the beauty that you seek
is a treasure buried deep inside!
but infatuated longing,
is a hunger never quenched,
for companionship cannot be found
in what only lies skin deep;
in taking shortcuts to desire
while her depth is pushed aside.
just remember danger lies
in well-worn paths, and
cliched answers,
over-simplified.
but if you take the road less-traveled,
walkways most will never see,
the door to all her hopes and fears
will open wide with liberality;
the steps that lead past all the latches,
her towers of security,
for her heart can ne'r be conquered,

no!

instead it must be gently freed!


*post script.

she is everything to me! and i am reminded, often, that her heart i never took, for she gave it... freely, and with liberality! she is a treasure... in deed!  and the day that i take this simple truth for granted is the day that i will begin to have lost her!

You come home late in your short skirt
You're such a flirt, that's what really hurt
I pretend to be asleep as you enter
You see at this game I'm a beginner
In my universe you've become the center
I'm never sure what to say or do
When I get the blues
So I act a fool

Under your breath you start to giggle
You crawl in bed and start to wiggle
My emotions get so fickled
  Inside I start to cringe
Cuz you need to make amends
Fast asleep I still pretend
Yet I guess you have your plan
And it's all that I can stand
When you whisper "You're my man!"

Don't wake me from this dream
It's not a bad dream
Hell I don't know what it means
First I start to waste away
Then you feel the need to play
Perhaps I'll figure life out someday...

~

You, my cloud,
soft and pure,
peacefully lingering
above me watching,
shading my life,
floating in my heaven ~
shielding me
~
As my heart beckons
on silent winds,
following my dreams,
reaching to the sky
to touch you
as you touch me ~
*with love

In a vision, in a dream of youth I met her again
My angel, my queen, a long lost friend
I had long forgotten how she made me feel
As the aspects of this dream remained as real

She lifted her voice as the universal spirit
Harmoniously independent yet one with all who had been bit
Once bit, once alive
Upon a weary road we strive

Her young heart sang, she sang the song of love
She sang of new love, her first and true love
In the valley of the lost where perhaps I left her
Such memories of youth become a blur

As I awoke from the dream, I gathered my thoughts, my pen, my theme
I loved a girl, Penelope
I loved the girl in spite of me
Drizzling down the cold rain came
Yet somehow in my head her song remained

◇

Her name was Autumn
she held many exquisite colours
within her oval eyes

Ruby red flashes
as they caught the light
creating the illusion of fire

A glorious gold
in a soft shimmer
offering glimpses of forever

As you peered deeper
they enticed memories forgotten
Of her eyes you'd never tire

Another tragic moment relived
I wake up and catch my breath
The image of my little girl
Clear as the day I left

I’m so afraid of seeing her again
But more afraid I may never see her again
It’s a wonder that I can ever smile
But time lets me breathe once in a while

This wall built between us
Cast a shadow upon my soul
This burning bridge separates us
Burning beyond my control

Somehow I must return to her
To reconcile the love she missed
Somehow I must resolve this
And help to heal her brokenness

◇

I miss you but I don't know who you are
Want to touch you but you're just so very far

You visit my dreams but we've never even met
It's where I always tell you how much we could have meant

Imagining your scent I close my eyes and slowly inhale
Fantasising of the sunset into which we could sail

The taste of your lips is a memory I'm waiting to have
Yet all the time wishing it's one I'd already had

Will your embrace, I wonder, ever be mine to steal?
Feeling your warmth, mending this heart that needs to heal

I'll hold this dream in my mind so tight and so very close
One day maybe you'll come true! I'll pray, and who knows?


~


Something is missing from deep inside but will I ever know?
Tell me where you are and to this place I will surely go

Within my dreams there's a place that feels so very real
A gentle voice in the beautiful distance mirrors the way I feel

The scent of Jasmine reminds me of a face I've never met
My heart remains loyal and my mind is already set

Full lips, I imagine, leaving 'lust' as a subtle taste
I reach out to caress you but lose the memory of your face

It's like you've already held me but left the imprint on my heart
I would readily begin searching if I knew just where to start

This fantasy, visiting only at night, will stay with me 'til death
and when I leave this earth, your name will fall upon my fragile breath