It's 2:06 in the morning and I'm
laying here screaming into my pillow
as the fear creeps in to steal what's left of
my sanity

If only the ink flowed from my pen as
artfully as the crimson from my wrists
Perhaps then I would not want to marry
the blade to my skin

I'm losing my willpower not to cut
I found an old suicide note today
I'm still not sure why I never made use
of it

Though my palms sweat, my forearms are shaking
I'm starting to drift into a world where
dreams I won't remember will torture me
to consciousness

I just want to close my eyes and never
see any of you again; maybe then
I wouldn't be able to burden you
anymore

I will miss everyone when I am
gone; I hope my selfishness won't hurt you
as much as my selflessness has hurt me
Goodbye

I arise groggy from a sleepless night
I truly do want to get out of bed
But still, motivation escapes my sight
As all these bad thoughts stew within my head

Waking up itself is a victory
I feel anything but proud of my feat
My day will entail the same dull story
And by the time night falls, I will be beat

It is a struggle to walk the hallways
Stress rearing it's ugly head back at me
I can't shake the tired feeling for days
Vision blurred by the negativity

I'm finally home, exhausted, I weep
I'll do what I do best and fall asleep

Depression
Enveloping darkness swallowing wholly
Confused family hurting daily
Unhappy memories haunting mercilessly
Concerned friends worrying quietly
Prospective future slipping quickly
Oblivious teachers grading harshly
Low self-esteem dropping endlessly
Understanding lover comforting gently
Frigid emptiness bellowing angrily
Lively peers ignoring unintentionally
Selfish

I am the problem
I can see the annoyance
In their tired eyes

"I am so sorry"
"For what?" they spit like acid
"Existing, perhaps"

They are sick of it
My need for reassurance
My anxiety