I have cared for the one's who would not care for me. I always wondered if it was all my fault. Though I was left alone with no reasons so I have decided the mistakes are my own. I could not think of reasons of why people should stay. Why should a fool like me deserved to be loved anyway? I am broken and there's no hope in fixing me. Let people just remember me as part of their history.  But I do hope even though they left, I have once made them happy. For their time was short but it made a difference to me. I hope you understand what you meant to me even though I meant nothing much to you.

Was it worth it?
finding peace and serenity in the the drugs you consume?
But leaving you feeling alone and empty in the corner of you room
right after?

Depriving yourself from any sort of self care
just to numb out the pain you can't bare?
Did it help you get better?
Did it help and save you from sending that letter?
Or was it just an excuse to forget how it felt, to be abandoned
for another?

Forever cursed, stuck in this never ending loop
unless you realize what you crave for is growth.
Flushing out the poison that you fill yourself with
and finally know your
                                                                ­                
                                          Self worth.

My wretched little life
Consumed by pity.
Trying to open my eyes,
I feel the weight.
Why bother standing
Here in this blistering cold?
My soul's worthless
Anyways,
Too old.
I'm always shivering,
Constantly battling
Deluded musings
And babblings.
Maybe I've gone sane,
Maybe I'm numb to the pain
Of normalcy.