It controls her
She can't stop it
It's a constant battle
She can't drop it

It has become a habit
She can't quit
It's taking over her body
Bit by bit

The scars fade
But the memories don't
She wants them to leave
But they refuse.. They won't

It's an on going battle.
It's a fight she never wins
It's a constant struggle
It's a war that never ends

It's her sweet escape
It gets her lost in her own place
She gets to control the pain
As her adrenaline starts to race

She grabs it off the dresser
As a tear falls from her cheek
She presses even harder
Reminding herself not to shriek

No one understands
No one ever will
This habit now controls her
As the world around her stands still

But now the room is spinning
Her head is getting light
She falls back in her bed
Refusing to put up a fight

She takes one last breath as she turns out the lights
Then she closes her eyes as she calls it a night

never trust a poet's words
they sound sweet at first
but you'll notice the emotion in their words
it all sounds too...
fake
"i love you like the sea loves the shore"
becomes too scripted
you hear the small tinge of love actually left in their voice
hoping
hoping it could mean something
but it doesn't
it never does
it's just the way they say it
one day, after they have left
you will find their poems, and they will be the exact words that they had said to you
once long ago

He’s no longer responding
It’s perplexing
Because no one knows why
Yesterday he was doing just fine
And in this room it’s frightening quite
Because everyone knows he’s about to die
His mother angrily yells at the doctor
While she stands over his bed
Why! Why!
My baby
This is my son
And he’s not going to die
Devante Devante
I can hear her repeating my name
But the sounds of the world has finally gone mute
And the lights of the room ceiling
Slowly
Fade to black
And if you crying over my shoulder right now
I’m sorry
I tried to fight it
But I just couldn’t fight my way back
I was to lost
Let myself be overcome with pain and misery
Unhappiness was my purgatory
But at what cost
My life
Yes my life
I gave it away
I’d do anything just to feel a little less
It’s why I injected myself
With an illegal amount
Of morphine

I would give my blood for love
Happiness for the stars above
But there is only so much mud I can take
And so my scars before I break

you lie like a cheap rug, but I fill in the blanks for my own peace
you are just an actor, I am directing the scenes
you are not as powerful as you seem
all my power is found in the in-betweens
the venom rumors, toxic to your reputation
with all my information like a computer
are you sure you want to test me?

Which is the mistake: to give or to take?
To close my eyes or stay awake?
Do you hide from yourself in the light
Or hide from people who hurt you in the dark?
Do you leave it behind
or try to reignite an old spark?
Do you surrender yourself in honor of your faith
Or do you believe in yourself enough to create your own fate?
The truth is, it doesn't matter how you answer because none of these options are mistakes.
They're choices. And, regardless of the outcome, it's not a mistake to make a choice.

She’s gone
Just gone
She did her usual thing
The thing she did
Every morning
Returning early afternoon
But this time
She hasn’t returned
She’s always been a bit wild
She came from the street
Not the home
She lost her way as a baby
But we took her in
No question she was feral
Driven by the need of freedom
Tried to give her a home
And oh I loved her
My heart was full for her
I love all cats
I can’t help it
Actually all animals
She was a real beauty
Her face was stunning
And she talked all the time
In the morning she spoke
While getting breakfast
I’d like to think she was saying
Good morning
I know I was
I miss her presence
It’s a punch to the gut
There’s a hollowness
Where she was
I still look for her
In the apartment
On the terrace
But she’s gone
I’ve looked for her
But there’s no trace
She’s just vanished
Into thin air
All that’s left
Is an empty space
It hurts