Esther En Qin
Esther En Qin
Oct 9, 2016

What Girls Meant To Say

Please leave me alone   equals to   I want you to stay

Don't talk to me   equals to    Please come back and talk to me

I hate you    equals to   I fucking love you

I'm fine   equals to   I'm not fine at all

Haha ,chill everything will be cool  equals to  everything will be miserable without you in my life

Goodbye   equals to  Final time for me to say I love you

I'm a strong girl   equals to   I'm very weak

It's Okay if he didn't reply   equals to  desperately need you to pay attention to me

I don't care   equals to    I care too much

#love  
Esther En Qin
Esther En Qin
Oct 3, 2016

They told me not to be afraid
They told me not to hide
It is time to face it

I practiced every single day
practice makes perfect
It trained me to be better and better

I am now well prepared
I sharpened my blade
Ready to slice every obstacle away
Ready to cut through every single issues

I prepared a shiny armour
To avoid people from hurting me
Especially my fragile heart

I learned how to fight
So that I can fight for myself
So that I can stand up for myself
Because I have countless scars left on me

I am ready
I am ready to face tomorrow
I am well prepared
For all the obstacles I'm about to face
Because I am a warrior

By:Esther Ong (this is a note to my dear self to be strong and face every obstacle ahead of me)
#self   #note  
  Oct 2 2016  Esther En Qin
The Nameless
The Nameless
Oct 2, 2016

He's got a neck like a turkey, I think,
So small, so easy to wrap fingers around to choke.
Daddy always said to have an escape plan,
I just thought mine would be a door.

I could wax poetic, like I wax my body,
I could wax poetic and rip away everything
Until I'm left with the bare skin naked ugliness
Of this man with a neck like a turkey.

Momma was raised on the Devil's farm and she knows ugly.
She always said that turkeys were mean, proud things,
Mean with beady little false Thanksgiving eyes,
And he's got the neck of a turkey.

And I suppose this is his revenge after a life spent as the meal
And It's my turn to be the prey, and it isn't beautiful,
I've waxed away the poetry and now it's just us,
And it's almost funny.

He's hunting, and I know because he said so,
Feathers fanned out, Turkey playing Peacock cocky.
Daddy always said to have an escape plan,
I just thought mine would be a door.

He's got a neck like a turkey, I think,
So small, so easy to wrap fingers around to choke.
And it isn't beautiful and it isn't poetry,
I waxed it all away, and it's almost funny.

Esther En Qin
Esther En Qin
Oct 1, 2016

Don't you worry about me
What you've done was very strong
strong enough to break my heart
I somehow do not expect you to come back

Don't you worry about me
I refuse you to apologize to me continuously
What you did was unforgivable
Cheating wasn't something to be forgiven
Yes I can say I forgive you
but it became a scar in me

Don't you worry about me
I refuse you to ask how am I
After what you've done
how dare you boldly ask if I am okay
I had to lie thousands time to you
thousand sins to act like I am okay
that I am happy without you

Dont you worry about me
I refuse you to ask how is my life
If you stop bothering me
my life should have been good already
stop interfering with my life
when you were the one decided to leave

How can I move on if you keep on asking me
questions that I can't answer?
Questions that I had to lie
to show I am strong
So  I won't be defeated by a man like you

The thing is I am actually weak
very weak when it comes  to you
very weak when it comes to love

Please
Don't you worry about me
So I can carry on with my life
So I can get back up
So I can start a new chapter without you
So I can be strong again.

By:Esther Ong
#love   #sad   #girl   #boy   #dumped  
Esther En Qin
Esther En Qin
Sep 30, 2016

Target locked
there he goes
aiming straight in front of me

He was the prey
I was the predator

He lured me with believable kind words
shot me with his gorgeous smile of his
made me fall into his trap
beautiful perfect man
that fluttered my heart

Who would know that
this beautiful man
targeted to break my heart
not to crack it
but to completely break it into pieces

My heart shards like glasses
he indeed aim it successfully
successfully to break my heart

my beautiful soul
soon became a dark black soul
why did I  not know earlier
that I was the target

What had I done wrong?
I do not deserve this
I cannot believe in the fact that
I was the target

By:Esther Ong
#love   #feelings   #girl   #hurt   #boy   #i   #the   #was   #target  
Esther En Qin
Esther En Qin
Sep 30, 2016

Please do not hide
That sweet 'o beautiful bright smile
that brightens up a dim dark room
The girl who showed positive vibes
to the people's heart about to shard

Please do not hide
The girl that carried our problems
She lifted it strongly behind her back
yet she never complained
she never showed how painful it was
people were blinded by her sweet 'o smile
her sweet 'o smile that hides the pain

Please do not hide
Girl I can see it what people can't see
the truth behind that sweet 'o smile
must be really tiring for you
but why must you be smiling all the time?

Girl stop carrying other people's burden
That burden is like an infection
Spread upon you by your brethen
Girl you didn't know and it showed
The burden was a virus
An infection
That caused you pain

Please do not hide
Stop hiding your sickness
your pain
because a beautiful sweet girl like you
should not be in pain
girl please do not hide.

By:Esther Ong
#love   #feelings   #girl   #hide   #sadness   #not   #please   #do  
 
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