gentle is the wind
softly screaming
as the sun dies

I think of the girl I was just a few years ago
A happy girl
She never felt like something was missing from her
She never saw in others what she lacked
Every experience was exciting because it was new and it was thrilling
What happened to her
Now every time I see myself I see cracks and I see pieces
I feel like I am floating above myself watching myself move through motions
I look at others only to see my lack
I cling onto the wisps of memory of innocence and think about when I was greener
Nostalgia

I run at night and try to jump like a doe towards the sky (it’s the closest on land that I get to a dolphin jumping out of  the great horizontal-ness of  its own life

Under the moonlight
could my two feet multiply into four

At the peak of outward youth  
should I breed

what but love and kindness is better to breed in this world

Visions of Gideon
Bite your heels
As you flee

This is the mystery
Of love
A retreat

My name in
Your throat
A futile device

On repeat

I've understood
the world
slowly,
as a carnation
in the February...
The lungs of حیاة
were too small...
And I could still have
maternal feelings.....
I remembered...
Your laughter on one of the bright mornings of May...
  And the May is gone..... Happiness,
is like a gold bangle...
My mother never wore it...