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Red Oct 2022
where is the support group
for Trans Masc kids
with bad fathers
alcoholic fathers

ones that didn't show up
and still try to tell you
what a man is
and isn't
and by God it isn't you

a Father with misogyny
ran so deep
that my body is
a beautiful woman's
and God made me
to be this way

Born into the beautiful body of a woman

where is the support group
for fathers who are so damaged
dating girls within 5 years of me

i've never felt safe around a man
even the one who is half of me

maybe why i don't feel safe around myself

where is the support group
for Trans kids
that are 27
who always wanted to be like their dad
until they got to know him

who found the masculine beauty
within their best friend
who picked them up
every other weekend

and now
who can't even stomach
to muster
that that is my father.

the guilt
of a kid who just wished one of us
would die

ENOUGH ENOUGH OF IT ALL ALREADY!!!!

can you please stop traumatizing me
its been 20 years
haven't you had enough?
where is all of this material coming from?
is this a never ending bit and i simply just don't get the joke?
Red Mar 2018
my thighs are burning hot,
these skinny jeans feel like snowpants,

hands shaking ,
putting on a necklace,
can't stop dropping the clasp,
clasping onto breath.

cough gagging.

smelly feet.

electricity in my knees.

the creaking is so loud.

how do you do this?
who bestowed this magic
into your strong delicate hands?

falling into a bat of acid,
born another planet,
pulled the sword from the stone,

where does this power come from?
in a soft smile paired with linen eyes,
iridescent beams through my chest,

pulling on my tongue ,
you find my kryptonite,
and I was never a DC girl myself...

but maybe you are a beautiful mirror,
you reflect the powers of your opponent.
physically rather
than
spiritually

maybe the way you make me feel,
is more a reflection of my power,
exerted into a physicality.

weaves my veins into my bones,
blows up my diaphragm ,
hives on my neck..

the true power is within me, though.

this much love,
coming from a little freckled white girl,
is my greatest weapon.

for you will never feel as deeply as i have.

you will never laugh like i do,
but you will never hurt the same.

what a price to be passionate.

but more importantly.

what a power.
  Mar 2018 Red
Kim
We're almost touching.
we were walking side by side,
you're talking about cabs in your hometown.
I can feel the gravity of your hand, calling my fingers
whispering "it's alright."

We're touching but not quite.
you held my shoulder to protect me from the passing cars.
and for the first time in a long while, I felt so fragile.
In this world where I find it hard even to breathe,
you believed me.

I almost said it.
All I need is one ounce of strength to tell you every single thing that I have ever felt about you.

I want to find home in your collarbones.
Would you be kind enough to let a stranger in?
I want to seep in your being because I'm cold.
The world is harsh and my cracks are aching.

Almost.
Please don't ever become a stranger,
whose laugh I can recognize anywhere.
Red Feb 2018
hello
i love you
your middle name?
i don't know

but i said that i love you
enjoy your ****** fantasies
pour concrete into art
pour me into your plants
pour you into me

do whatever you will
wherever you may
with whomever you please

just try and think of me

just know that i love you
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