-

you remind me of home

the way your eyes look down
when you walk
but straight into mine
when you talk
you listen
to me
attentively
and that's more
than i can say
for anyone
on any day
you ask me
about my family
about my heart
about my hurt

and then there's the silence

you put on my favorite song
and close your eyes
you say nothing
you said nothing
you didn't touch me
or offer to
you stayed close enough
for comfort
and far enough
for peace
you let the music
tell me it was
going to be okay

the other day
you told me about your family
how you just lost your home
i understood

you remind me of home

you make jokes in arabic
attempt to speak urdu
make fun of english
your accent is
local enough to
understand
it is foreign enough
to love.

let's eat maggi noodles
and talk about life

let's sing simple songs

i think of you
and i think
soft
soft
soft.
i think soft.

let's stay far enough
for it to not hurt
let's stay close enough
for it to not hurt

you remind me of home
you remind me of home
you remind me of home

-

We spend all of our forsaken existence Fighting to make our mark on the world
When the truth is that nothing we do will Last in this life.
Our loved ones will die,
Our names will vanish,
Our pride will fade.
Buildings will crumble,
Legacies will fall.
But still we crawl,
Trying to make our presence felt.
I simply want to watch this world burn,
So that I can simply leave it colder,
A small smile on my lips.

Kindness to weakness,
Desperation to deception,
The point is that I'm back.
For how long?
We'll see.
But I got a lot to get outta my system.

"hey, um... are you OK?"
my world snaps back into focus,
a startled glance over my shoulder,
I knuckle my eyes, already red and puffy
"you don't look so good..."
my mouth is sticky at the corners,
my throat is unbelievably dry,
I can't breathe,
let alone speak...
"I'm so tired, so ******* tired of living. I'm sorry that I'm such a mess, but my world just seems to be spinning out of control - I've not been getting much sleep lately,
but y'know, it's kinda hard to sleep when your heart is at war with your own twisted mind.
It's hard to breathe when your breath is constantly being stolen by the storm in your head, and I'm so ******* tired of feeling like I'm not good enough.
But hey, y'know what? - it's better than telling myself that I don't need anyone, then realising that they don't need me.
It's a sick world we live in where I'm made to feel like I don't deserve love because I'm not a stereo typical person who likes stereo typical things. and I'm sorry that I'm not good enough for society's standards, but there's no need to make my life a living hell because of it.
So no, I'm not *'OK', but thanks for asking anyway."
but never mind,
I know that you wouldn't understand,
And I know that I've been quiet too long - you're looking restless.
I don't *want to,
but I have to say something,
because you took that choice away from me when you decided to be "kind"
"sorry,"
I whisper, my voice barely audible above my breath
I don't know why I am apologising
*"I'm fine..."