I am now clinically insane.
Or in much kinder words, lovestruck.

You are my serotonin.
My current favourite drug.

All I Wanna Do
Is to be strong for you

All I Wanna Do
Is to care for you

All I Wanna Do
Is to take away your fear

then again,
What does my prideful heart say

It has been a year*. It’s been exactly a year since the day you told me those three, beautiful words. I still remember how those words exhaled through your mouth like it was a lion in a cage wanting to escape. Like it was a painting on an art museum wanting to be noticed or like a bird flying and soaring above the skies. That was the start of our little yet overwhelming “forever”. You became my world, my galaxy, my universe. You called me your princess and I called you a prince. It was a very happy tale of how two persons became endlessly in love with each other.  A love that I thought was very invincible and unbreakable.

But I was wrong…

You started to pick and break the flowers in my hair and I started to plant deadly thorns in your heart. You started to run away but I was still holding you back. You were speaking bullets without considering the wounds that I would feel. Slowly, we were killing each other without knowing it. But the sad thing is I was the one who collapsed. I was the one who fell into something much bigger than I am. I was the one who sat in the bathroom crying and at the same time wondering if anything you said was true. I was the one who died.
But the thing is, I still know that you’re still the same and lovely boy that I once loved. It’s just that the universe decided that we didn't belong. It was a drastic yet beautiful story on how the word “forever” changed into a “memory*.”

"It's going to get worse," you wrote,
Your disappointment drenched me like a cold rain

And all I could do was apologize,
Insist I didn't mean it,
Beg you for another chance

But saving this was like trying to resuscitate a man shot 56 times

We all lie in the beds we make,
But the worst part is wondering,
*"What if?"