When you hear the ringing bells,
you’ll know the time has come
but it’ll be too late for you
to make up for the lost youth.

When you lose what you thought
you’d always have,
you learn how to care
when it is needed.

When the earth smells like sin
you find the truth buried underneath
it’s been years but
it has not changed a little bit.

When you open your mouth
but nothing is willing to come out,
you fill it with some more guilt instead,
no feeling in your head.

Years might have gone by
but you still can’t escape that place,
he might be gone, yes…
but are you sure he is?

I used to be more,
full like the morning sun,
a fool but made of dreams bittersweet.
Grief took over me.
Suddenly? No,
a long process,
I did not notice.

Time passes by unexpectedly
even if you expect it,
it flows and flows,
unbothered by cries,
by dying men,
flowers melting like
my heart every April;
it asks no one
for it has no mouth
to scream and shout,
for it’s not alive
like you are
or like the papers say,
like your mother used to say.

Oh, if only she knew…
you left your self
on the front seat of his car,
too young to sit there
but he didn’t seem to mind.
He should have been terrified
but no. He was calm.
'Not your first time, is it?'
What?
'How dare you?'

There are times when
I simply sit and imagine:
vanilla ice cream turning to liquid,
dripping on my tummy
under the filthy, scorching sun.
It’s cold and I prefer chocolate
and it’s not fair but
I don’t say a thing.

Make it subtle,
invisible it should be,
shush it all away,
it passes so it’s okay.
I’m telling you,
it should be.
And it will be
one day.