and i wish i could slit my wrists and
write about you in the note
to tell the entire world about
the monster you are.
you wouldn't even be able
to argue because it would be
your word against a
dead girl's --
but you're not worth it.
god, you've never been worth it

i wish i could go back to the night where
i decided to settle for you
and knock some sense into myself
snakes shouldn't lie with
doves. they swallow them whole.
i know that now
i wish i knew it then

i'm done thinking about you
in waves of cuddly, familiar nostalgia
i'm done thinking about you
and wishing i could go back
i never want to go back
it wasn't cuddly when you pushed me
into the corner and slapped me across
the face like
you were my mother
(familiar, but not cuddly --
you stopped being cuddly
when you realized i would
fight back)

you're funny because you love
to throw the blame and shame
at me for starting fights
when i never notice
you come around unless
i say something incriminating
you're absent unless you're
defending yoruself