riupert is stupid isn’t he pat



you see he gives you foxtel like a **** that he is
he is a spazzo who cares for no poor men like me
if ya like foxtel, you are ******* up to rupert yeah
and i have the internet, cause i am left leaning and care for the
welfare of the poor
if you are a foxtel addict and don’t like sport
you are ******* up to rupert, yeah, MATE yEAH YOUR A ****
i am a ****, yeah a **** to the rich
i am persuading young udders
to help the homeless yeah
you see rich people haven/t got support from me
they just want to sucjk up to rupert buddy
i hate fotel, i prefer internet and fetch tv
it might be sort of rupert, but it is not you see
i am cool, cause i teased the men
cause as i say i am growing young
i hate rupert, i hate people who say i am a ****
cause i am the only one who really really really cares for the poor
not like these men who tease in clubs
they just wanna budge
and then you get a **** who says don’t worry about brian
cause brian allan is a cool kid to a muck around
and gets teased by whoever who wants to
i had fun teasing this man, ,cause it spoiled his perfect little world
i frowned at him like a cool kid
he frowned at me, like a little angry man
i said 100 times i don’t do behaving
so if ya want me t6 behave ya can kiss my curvy but, goodbye
anyone who gtries to hassle me
are all a bunch old cranky
remember the song
hail to the yobbos the yobbos the yobbos
hail to the yobbos and the old misery guts cranky men
hail to the yobbos the yobbos the yobbos
hail to the yobbos, and the ole cranky misery guts men
you see those men just want to be left alone left alone left alone
those men just want to be left alone
cause they are old misery guts men
so i don’t do this behaving myself
it is only for nerds
i like partying, even if it’s at home
if sydney win i will party party party
even have a champagne cause that’ll be cool
hail to the yobbos the yobbos the yobbos
hail to the yobbos and the old cranky man
this man at the club said go home and play with ya computer
hail he’s old cranky man, who wants none of us young dudes
to spoil his perfect little world
my middle name is fun, my last name is control
you say i am an alien, cause i am an allan
alien from the planet fun to help poor handle life
who cares about the rich, they have money, duuuudes
i am a cool kid to the poor, but if i haven’t got enough money
i don’t give, but i am left leaning labor voting
HEY TONY ABBOTT GIVE US A GO
STOP HELPING THE RICH GET ME ON TV

angry men, get more done, but angry men die very young



you see my dad was always getting angry, nobody knows why he did

you see he was waiting for the perfect time to stop treating me like a kid

you see dad was angry at me because i didn’t clean my computer table

and he also was angry at me for converting to the cindrella cleaning system

you see angry men get things done, but they also die very young, dad was young, at age 75

i miss his helpful side, by helping me understand the computer

like art colony, writers cafe, and hello poetry and FACEBOOK, man

you see i hated dads frown, you see angry people die very young

i am not one of those angry people, that is why i am frustrated

because people are trying to push my nice side up to space

and my evil side i want to get rid of, cause, i am not shy to look *******

but i am a complete normie, only nerds are angry, very angry nerds

they will die very young, very very young

i hated my dads angriness, cause he hyped me up

i knew dad would die first, because he show his happy side like me

i am not living in the past for anyone

dad was angry, he helped me with the computer, i say thanks to the paranormal dad

but i still thought that dad was a cranky man

hail to the yobbos the yobbos the yobbos

hail to the yobbos and the old cranky dad

i know dad isn’t teasing, but he is an old cranky dad

i am the happiest dude in canberra, happier than anyone

i help the poor, i help the poor

an old cranky dad sits there up on cloud 9 wanting

pat has powers to take old hags out of people

old hags who are trying to be cool kids

ANGRY MEN GET THINGS DONE, BUT THEY DIE YOUNG LIKE DAD

ANGRY MEN GET THINGS DONE, BUT THEY DIE YOUNG LIKE DAD

ANGRY MEN GET THINGS DONE, BUT THEY DIE YOUNG LIKE DAD

i am a cool young dude, i have a lot of fun

Cricket it is funny that yobbos
Like cricket till they find out that
Some players are out for ball tampering
I don’t think it is wrong to suspend them
They deserve it
They shouldn’t do it
It is just not cricket to believe in just watching the big players
What about the new players
Coming up, and this ball tampering thing brings that on
Because they do wrong and we get new players
Yobbos say we can’t cheer for the new ones we should just cheer for best ones
But I think that is just not cricket
Ya know people have fun taking their sons and daughters to the cricket watching players come of age but yobbos boycott the
Cricket because a few players get suspended for wrong doing
And that is just not cricket
Just not cricket mate at all
And people should realise that players stuff up and there is nothing wrong with supporting the cricket like it was a shame that the prime ministers XI only got 1000 to go to the game and if it is only because of the players out for ball tampering
That isn’t what I call cricket at all, no, I say support the cricket
Go to the one dayers, and tests and big bash and other styles
And support the teams rather than the idiots who spoiled the game for the rest of them

I am a ***** in the club
I really do love life
I get drunk every hour
And I sink them down real quick
You see I love life really really cool
We are one and we have fun
You see beer is the only one for us
We share a drink and sing with one voice
We are a pack of yobbos
And we get drunk and we say to each other
That drinking is certainly my cup of tea
You see everyone says get down
Playing pool and playing the pinball machine and how many points will you get
You see the yobbos of this brown land are saying
Get drunk we share a beer
To everyone in this country
I say you say drink the ***** way
Sharing it with everyone and say get drunk and say
I would like to see rain in Africa
And I would like to see sun in Antartica but that will be a miracle despite it being Normal before Athens sent the blizzard
Their way and then we shared another beer with Jesus and god and they said
*****, ******* Turk so we can get on with our lives
We share a drink and drink it down my love
I say you say yobbos rule ok

you see cronus and barry allan and buddha, has been battling the terrible forces

of cyclone marcia, which is caused by the cosmic fight of ted bundy and ronnie biggs

you see, brian allan was very tired, because he had to fight the terrible winds caused

by ted and ronnie, you see what happening is, kids and surfers and rock fishermen

and all sorts of the yobbos culture, have let ted bundy and ronnie biggs take full control

and ned kelly and the crazy ed gein, you see i just wanted to do tapestries, but, my eyes

were too tired, and i had to put power into these stupid people, who are doing all this

ya know rock fishing, and surfing, it’s herd to understand why, you see, at present i am

treated like a hooligan, but i am battling to keep the cyclones from really damaging the

earth, and there is some people stuck in an elevator, and kids near a poo,l, with high seas,

i know, it is a bit of excitement, but reality why are people allowing themselves to go out

and battle these evil spirits that caused this cyclone marcia, and elvis tried to keep these

evil spirits from killing with the powers of music, here goes

i wanna be, your teddy bear, you see i take out of my bag and cuddle you some more

i don’t wanna be a tiger, tigers play to rough, i don’t want to be a lion

the lion ain’t the type ya ought to love enough

i know you can be found sitting all alone

if you can’t come around, at least please telephone

don’t be cruel, just stop these spirits

i know it can be hard, but baby it it’s just you i am thinking of

and then elvis sang to ed gein ted bundy ronnie biggs and ned kelly

you guys are nothing but evil hound dogs, to trap these australians like this

you trap these australians thinking it’s fun to break the rules

you will never **** these people, no matter how stupid they are

you see these criminals can cause more problems, now they’re dead

ted bunny said, we are wrecking houses heh heh heh

we are forcing people to battle winds while surfing heh heh heh heh

the children caught near the rock pool, heh heh heh heh

people stuck in hotel elevator  heh heh heh heh

ted bundy said, i have everybody fooled,

then said he is glad he is dead, because nobody will believe in stories

ted bundy ronnie biggs ed gein and ned kelly making these cyclone victims

think it’s exciting to take the kids to look at the raging seas

yeah, ted bunny is loving every minute of this, every minute, every minute

and even the eye of ted bundy and ed gein looking at the queensland coast saying a loud

HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH HEH, foolish earthlings

cronus barry allan and buddha and athena, are pushing the cyclone away

but it’s hard to beat these evil spirits

I AM CRONUS

hi dudes

ya know these yobbos really make me sick

and i want to give them the kick

saying all this crap about supporting ****** women

it sounds so ****** un called for

just because they are drunk, does that give them an excuse

saying it’s not them talking it’s the *****

ya know i hate being a man because they say real men do this

why, why the **** would they think this

you see women look younger and heaps happier

and these drunk men have the right to verbally hurt them

you see these yobbos, you see these yobbos

throw them in the bin along with their drink

you see they have no right to say all this crap about women

you see these men go out saying we support ****

you see they support the dreaded hooded cape

they use to hide their own identity

so the women can’t see who they really are

i don’t support what these drunken men were chanting

they can ******* back to the pub they drank in

and keep their crap off the street

i believe in doing chants, but not like that

i believe in joking around, but not against women

i believe i believe in loving life, oh loving life

i don’t believe in saying any racial or ****** remarks

which could get people upset

hi dudes hi dudes, how are you doing

are you chanting about ****** women

i ****** hope not, i ****** well hope not

you see people said i was a larrikin as a child

but i never used racial or ****** actions against anyone

**** is bad **** is bad, shoot rapists into space

i ain’t paying them a compliment i ain’t paying them a compliment

i just hate ****, i just hate ****

anyone who supports these drunken chants, by all due respect

should be taken off to the psych ward or jail

they got the chant off the simpsons

dig me a hole dig me a hole

and put a nerd in it and put a nerd in it

please drunken louts, STOP DOING THESE ****** CHANTS

you are getting drunk and telling women they deserve being *****

i reckon you louts deserve being locked up, but please just let me say

they are people who don’t love life

the drink is their home sweet home

and singing chants about ****** women is their meat and potatoes

i think it’s total *******

THE SUDDEN MOMENT OF BEING KIDNAPPED BY THE DEAD



YOU SEE OSAMA BIN LADEN AND RONNIE BIGGS, SACKED TED BUNDY, BECAUSE HIS EARTH BODY

WAS TRYING TO BE NICE, SO OSAMA AND RONNIE GRABBED PAUL BERENYI AND BRIAN ALLAN

AND FLEW THEM AROUND THE PLANET JUPITER *******, AND BROUGHT ON WILD WEATHER

IN NSW, AND TRAP SO MANY PEOPLE, YOU SEE OSAMA AND RONNIE STRAPPED PAUL AND BRIAN

TO A ROBOTIC DEVICE, AND MOVING 5000 MILE PER HOUR, BRIAN AND PAUL SCREAMED CAUSE

NEITHER OF THEM WANTED TO BE KIDNAPPED TOGETHER, LET ALONE AT ALL, AND THEN, RONNIE BIGGS

GOT HIS TRAIN WHISTLE, HOWDY PARTNER, HOWDY PARTNER, I HAVE BRIAN ALLAN AND PAUL BERENYI

BOTH *******, NEVER TO ESCAPE, AND PAUL, TRIED TO DO A MIGHTY LEAP, OVER TO TWO MOONS, BUT

FAILED AS HIS LEGS ARE SO TIGHT ON HIS STRETCHER, AS ADAM WALSH, IS STILL STRAPPED TO THE SUN

THIS IS SWEET REVENGE FOR BRIAN AND PAUL, AS THEY ARE TRYING TO GET OUT OF THERE, YOU SEE

OSAMA SAID, YOUR KIDNAPPER IS DYING SLOWLY BUT SURELY, YA SEE BRIAN ALLAN HEH HEH HEH

YOU WILL NEVER GET OUT OF HERE, AND BRIAN AND PAUL WERE SCREAMING, AND THIS IS GOING TO

BE HARD AS *******, CAUSE BRIAN IS DETERMINED TO RID THESE EVIL VOICES, AND STOP ERECTIONS

IN HIS ****, WHEN HE SEES A KID, OSAMA SAYS, BRIAN ALLAN AND PAUL BERENYI AE WITH ME, THEY ARE WITH

US, WE’LL NEVER LET THEM GO, PAUL SAID, I WANT YOU REFORM OUR WAY BRI=URN AND THEN BRIAN SAID, MY MATE

PAT FROWNED AT MY GRANDMOTHER, BUT IT WAS IN GOOD CONVERSATION, HE WAS A NICE GUY, AND WHETHER OPEOPLE TEASE ME OR NOT

I SAY, TO MY VOICES, TEASE ME ALL YA WANT, AND OSAMA SAYS, NEH, KEEP BRIAN ALLAN AND PAUL BERENYI

FLYING AROUND JUPITER, ABOUT 400 TIMES, AND BRIAN ALLAN, WHO BELIEVES IN THE PARANORMAL, BELIEVES

HIS SPIRIT CAN BE BROKEN UP IN 23 PIECES, IN ORDER TO NOT DIE FROM UNLEASHING THE KIDNAPPER FROM WITHIN,

BRIAN ALLAN THOUGHT, WELL, OK, I NEVER KILLED A KID, OR BRUTALLY BASHED SOMEBODY, BUT I COULD’VE HAVE KIDS

OF MY OWN, IF I WAS TO GET PAST, MY **** GETTING AN *******, FROM LOOKING AT LEGS OF YOUNG KIDS, I FIND

THIS HARD, AS, I AM BEING TEASED, AS I WRITE, YOU SEE, AS I TYPE, THE PARANORMAL FEEL, OF ME, GETTING WEIRD DELLUSIONS

OF MY OLD MATES HAND PUSHING ME AWAY FROM THE COMPUTER, EVEN THOUGH I LIKE COMPUTERS, A LOT

YOU SEE, YOU HAVE TO BE CAREFUL, OF OSAMA BIN LADEN, HE COULD WRECK, ALL POSITIVE PARANORMAL ACTIVITY

AND IF HE HAS HIS WAY, NOBODY WILL BE SAVED, AND AS BRIAN IS TRYING TO GET FREE, BUT OSAMA SAID, WE WANT YOU TO STOP

YOUR ERECTED ****, I HAVE AMAJOR PLAN, TO CHOP IT OFF, BUT THEN BRIAN SCREAMED SO LOUDLY, ******* ******* OSAMA

YOU SEE, AT PRESENT, BRIAN ALLAN, IS FORCED TO BE A SHY OLD FOGIE, AS HIS CRACKED FEET ARE REALLY HURTING, AND BRIAN

IS GETTING SILLY DELLUSIONS, OF THE PARANORMAL, TAKING HIM FROM THE SIMPLE LIFE, AND REALLY MAKING BRIAN ALLAN STRUGGLE ON EARTH,

GIVING BRIAN ALLAN NO ENERGY, FORCING OLD MATES SAY, I AM NOT YA DADDY, I AM NOT YA FUCKEN LITTLE DADDY, BRIANY

AND, THE WAY OSAMA MADE BRIAN ALLAN STRUGGLE, BY TAKING HIS HAPPY BODY, BUT BRIAN ALLAN, SAID, DO THIS, TAKE ME

I WILL PREFER YOU TO DO ALL PARANORMAL THINGS WITH ME, I CAN TAKE IT, DUDES, YOU SEE, I USED TO ASK PEOPLE ON THE STREET

TO KIDNAP ME, MEANING I HATED MY DAD TREATING NE LIKE A LITTLE SHY BOY, AND BECAUSE OF THAT, I BECAME MORE RELUCTANT

TO TALK LIKE A SILLY KID, BUT I HATED MY DAD LAUGHING AT ME,  I TOLD HIM TO SHUT UP, LIKE AN ANGRY ROBBER, DAD AND MUM WERE

SICK OF ME, THEY CALLED IN A POLICEMAN, TO STAND OVER ME, AND IT WAS CLEAR FROM THAT DAY, THEY THOUGHT I WAS NEVER

CUT OUT TO BE LIKE THEM, I KNOW, I AM A MESSY KID AN ADULT, I TRIED TO BE NICE TO MUM AND DAD, BY WRITING STORIES OUT OF MY HEAD

AND I STARTED WRITING STORIES OF DESTRUCTION, DAD NEVER LIKED THOSE STORIES, AND TOLD ME, THESE STORIES AIN’T NICE, BUT, ME

I WAS WRITING STUFF OUT OF ME, THE CANBERRA CROWD, EVEN THE YOBBOS, ARE MORE SUPPORTIVE THAN MUM AND DAD, MUM HATED ME USING NAMES

DAD HATED DUDE USED IN STORIES, YOU SEE I CAN’T BE THE (QUOTEY FINGERS) SORT OF MAN, THAT THEY WANT ME TO BE, SURE I NEVER HAD ***

BUT IT WASN’T MUM AND IT WASN’T DAD, IT WAS I WAS GETTING A BAZ FROM KIDS, I AM NO PHEADPHILE OR MEN MY OWN AGE, I AM NOT GAY

I DO GET ERECTED ***** ON WOMEN, BUT MAINLY WITH KIDNAPPING THOUGHTS, AND I AM NO KIDNAPPER, AND BRIAN WAS SAYING ALL THIS STRAPPED TO A ROLLERCOASTER

GOING UP AND DOWN UP AND DOWN JUPITER, AND PAUL BERENYI, WAS ALSO SCARED, BUT SEEING HE WAS DEAD, HE DIDN’T HAVE TO REPASY HIS DEBT

YOU SEE PAUL BERENYI, KEPT TRYING TO GET THE POSTER FROM MY TV WEEK, AND ALSO HE PUT HIS HAND ON MY SHOULDER, ON AN AREA WHERE IT HURTS LIKE ANYTHING

AND HE SHOWED INTEREST IN A SCHOOL PROJECT, JUST TO PUT A DRAWING PIN UP MY ***, AND I HATED THAT, MIND YOU, IT DID STOP, BUT I DON’T WANT TO

START IT UP AGAIN, SO WHAT I AM DOING IS HELPING THE HOMELESS GET INTO HOMES, LIKE THE CANBERRA REX HOTEL AND TURN IT INTO HOMELESS HOTEL

AND PUT A BAR AND BISTRO, AS WELL AS DOCTORS AND DENTISTS AND LAUNDRY ROOMS ROUND THE CLOCK CLEANING CARE AND CHEAP ROOM SERVICE

AND AS OSAMA BIN LADEN AND RONNIE BIGGS, TOOK PAUL BERENYI AND BRIAN ALLAN TO SYDNEY, AND CAUSE THOSE VIOLENT STORMS, THE WORST OF IT IS OVER

AND BRIAN’S KIDNAPPER IS DYING, AND PAUL BERENYI AND BRIAN ALLAN WENT BACK TO THE SUN, WILL THEY BE SAVED BY THE POWERS OF ATHENA

briano alliano plays at jupiter moon



hi dudes and welcome you all to jupiter moon and my first song is wild thing

here it goes


you see i am a wild thing, ah ah ah ah ah ah

you make my heart sing, oh yeah let’s party

you make my heart leap right out of my body

making it wanna bleed, you wild thing

wild thing, i wanna love you, but i wanna no for sure

i wanna love you baby, better than before

wild thing yeah i am cool man

i make your heart sing, really radical dude

the party is on for young and old, oh yeah we wanna party on yeah

wild thing, i wanna have *** with you, oh yeah i do, yeah

i wanna have *** with you and make you wanna scream for more, oh baby

wild thing, come on little dude, let’s ****** party, yeah

you see i will party and knock your hearing aids out, wild thing

wild thing, wa wa wa wa wa wa

you make your heart sing and making your heart leap right out of your body, like a

bouncing ping pong ball, you wild thing

hi dudes that was a great song and now here is 15 miles

15 miles to get to the end

without some people driving you round the bend

you see i gotta find a way to get there in time

before we ****** reach the state line

you see i do my work and i do it so well

and enjoy the treats ya know ya just don’t tell

ya parents dude, what you just ate

because if you do, you will be too sick to eat off your dinner plate

and i write my stories oh yeah i am fine

you see i write stories like the **** kids gaol and captured in the psych ward and more

people say shut up woosey to me, cause when i was young i was a tad shy for them

15 miles to get to the end

without some people driving you round the bend

i have to find a way to get there in time

before we ****** reach the state line

money comes and money goes

then we go out side to play in the snow

you see i chuck a snowball onto my dad

and he tells me of the fun we had

you see in this world i have so much fun

actually it makes me want to eat a cream bun, and enjoy it

don’t tell your mum

yeah we jump up and scream to the world

all the problems you have with it

15 miles to get to the end

without some people driving you round the bend

i have to find a way to get there in time

before we ****** reach the state line

you see right wing governments don’t give a ****

yeah they don’t care one little bit

julia gave the poor money, yeah that is rad

but abbott doesn’t care, it drives me totally mad

15 miles to get to the end

without some people driving you round the bend

i have to find a way to boot abbott out in time

before we are the poorest nation this side of the line

this side of the ****** line

hi dudes, that was a great song wasn’t it, and now here is oxy ***** give me a smoke

if i smoke a ****** drag, and if i enjoy it very much

do you honestly think i will give it to you, neh

keep your greedy mits off it

you see there are some things in life a poor ****** like me needs more than anything else

and that is a smoke, NOT

i don’t smoke, i don’t want to

i don’t smoke, who needs to

people don’t believe me when i say i gave up cigarettes, i tell them no, and say *******

well, what a bunch of crap, he is just a pain in the ***

i don’t smoke, who wants to, it will **** me if i try who needs to

only yobbos smoke, because my friend it’s bad for my health

i don’t smoke, i never wanted to smoke, so please don’t presume i do, by starting to fight me on the street

and i never wanted to smoke, i smoked to be cool

but man oh man i quit, because it ain’t a good ****** look, hurts my reputation

hi dudes, that was a great song, i hope you enjoyed it and now i sing duncan

i would love to chuck a methane smoothie on duncan

i would love to chunck methane on dunc

ya see it will improve the quality of his life on earth

and it’s better than beer that gets you hopelessly drunk

i chuck it on top of his head dude and then down his pants, that is great

i would love to chuck methane on duncan cause he is my mate

i would love to chuck methane on bas boy

yeah i would love to chuck methane on baz

to get rid of the stress he shows when his kids are in trouble

yeah i can tell you baz,, i am doing fine

i still want to chuck it on my bas boy, which will make jupiter’s atmosphere so great

i would love to chuck methane on baz boy, cause he is our mate

i would love to chuck methane on scott mcdonald

yeah that’ll be fun to chuck methane on him

you see he became lucky and muscles to tease us all

yeah it felt like we were getting attacked by a jungle ape

i pour the keg on top of scott yeah, making the atmosphere so great

i would tip methane all over scott cause he is a great mate

hi dudes and here is a christmas song for christmas in july

jingle bells bat man smells robin laid an egg

the bat mobile lost it’s wheel, the joker got away

dashing through the park on a skateboard as he does

was santa kid ya see, listening to was not was

the song was the hit, named walk the dinosaur

and then scott mcdonald came up to me

and showed me lucky’s pour

jingle bells bat man smells robin laid an egg

the bat mobile lost it’s wheel, the joker got away

jingle bells batman smells robin laid an egg

the bat mobile lost it’s wheel, the joker got

the joker got, the ****** joker got away

hi dudes, and now i will chuck this methane smoothie on top of bas boy, ya know

my dad, because i want him to have a great life as betty campbell and forget

about me, so here we go, tipping it all over dad

bye dudes

Oh tell me where has England's glory gone,
Lost golden days of beef and lukewarm beer?
Now it's polenta in a gastro-pub,
Chilean Chardonnay, Tequila Slammers.

Her Empire proudly pink on schoolroom maps;
India, Afric, source of plundered loot galore.
All gone, all gone, black faces back in charge
And black drug pushers stalk old London's streets.

Fat huntsmen dressed in pink, all banished now,
Their yelping foxhounds ripping prey apart,
Celebrating sick English country ways
Before returning to their mortgaged homes.

City yobbos yelling down their mobiles,
Fatcats slurping up their creamy profits;
All the public cares about is football
And the *** lives of the media's darlings.

So where has England's honour gone today?
Up the American military ****,
Our government showing its smug disdain
For what decent people care and think.

We've sold out to baseball caps and burgers,
And imported TV shows for the mentally *******,
A visitor attraction for obese rich yanks to drawl
"We're real glad we saved these Limey's ***** in two wars".

it’s amazing how i could transfer myself into a girl


you see i have this problem of seeing on the floor

so i do the girl thing, and sit down on the toilet to do a wee

it works, because ire’s embarrassing to be a guy

so i sit down on the toilet an d wee, and nothing goes on the floor

i don’t care if i look like a girl, it’s better than seeing my pants

and it’s better than being treated like a little yeah mate yeah kid

because if you have problems with seeing on the floor

you sit down and be a girl, and wee sitting down

i know it seems weird, but i am a girl

i have problems seeing on the floor, so i will be a girl

i don’t want to be an embarrassment to the guys or any other member of the human

i know i am getting help with my housework, by home help

but at least i am trying to better myself, so i will be a girl, to stop me seeing on the floor

because the guy life doesn’t work for me, so i will be a girl

do my art and sit down on the toilet, so nothing goes on the floor

i get fungus on my feet, because i am grotty, but i am no little baby kid

i am dealing with my problems ok, and if that means i have to be a girl, so be it

you see i hear voices of mates saying, shut up baby shut up baby

because i am too babyish to be a bloke, because the little girl life is better for me

i am no koomarri man, i don’t know how to be as perfect as my dad was

so i be a little girl and sit down on the toilet

i am a man who sees like a girl, cause the man life don’t work for me

i am a man who sees like a girl, cause i can’t help it if i stand ***, i wee on the seat and floor

so i sit down and wee like a little girl, better than the yobbos, hey

i am now a little girl, i wee in the toilet better if i sit down

cause i am not a messy little kid, no way hoizei

you see i have problems with cleanliness as well, so i am getting help

so i sit on the toilet to avoid seeing on the floor

i am not shy to be a little girl, aren’t i

I AM SCARED OF BIG NOISES, IN LIFE, but i don’t want to be scared


you see the dog barks at me i go ahhhhh, leave me alone

you see, i hate when drunken yobbos yell at me, all because i drink their beer

you see i am scared of kids treating my like phedaphile

and i am scared of getting robbed, or mucking with robbers

all getting robbers to muck with me, because i act small for my age

i am scared of getting bullied for what i say

i don’t like people yelling at me, and sometimes i be a little young dude, to stop myself from getting robbed

i am scared if my old life will come back and rip my heart

sometimes i used to be a hooligan so i feel bigger than the family teasers

i was showing dad in the 1990s how i can try to handle teasing

but sometimes i feel the teasers are going to kidnap me to tease me

and i don’t want to be strange, i want to change

i hate when people yell at me saying SHUT UP, TRYING TO BE A YOUNG DUDE ARE YA

i don’t want to get bullied or kidnapped

and when i see a dog, i yell out ahhhhhhh ahhhhhhhh ahhhhhhhhh

ahhhhhhhhhh ahhhhhhhhhh ahhhhhhhhh ahhhhhhhh ahhhhhhhhh

same as if someone looked dangerous, you say ahhhhhhhhh ahhhhhhhhhh

ahhhhhhhhhhh ahhhhhhhhhh

if someone treats me like a hooligan i go annnnnnn i am a family person

i am a family person ahhhhhhhhhh ahhhhhhhhhhh ahhhhhhhhhhh

AUSTRALIANS ALL LET US REJOICE

AS WE DRINK A BEER, AND HAVA BBQ WITH MATES

SURE WILL, BE MIGHTY FINE

ACROSS THE CENTRE, OVER AYERS ROCK

AND OVER SYDNEY OPERA HOUSE YEAH

AND DON’T FORGET TO LEAVE A MESSAGE FOR ABBOTT

AND PARLIAMENT HOUSE OH YEAH

I JOYOUS STAINS ON MY CARPET YEAH, WE’LL HAVE TO CLEAR IT UP

AND MAKE YOUR WIFE ENJOY THE ENGLISH WAY, BEER FROM A PARTY CUP

PLEASE YOBBOS, PLEASE REFRAIN, FROM BASHING PEOPLE UP AGAIN

AUSTRALIAN’S ALL LET US SPEW AFTER WE HAVE OUR BEER

OUR MIGHTY PART OF BUDDHAS REIGN, IS SHOWING US HOW TO PARTY

JEEZ, OH GOD OR BUDDHA PLEASE, GET ME A CAN OF BEER

AND BOINCE IT AROUND ON MY BELLY LIKE A FULL BOWL OF JELLY

DADDY IS COMING TO PROTECT ME, IN THE FORM OF AN AUSTRALIAN GIRL

SIX WHITE BOOMERS, SNOW WHITE BOOMERS, RACING BRIAN ALLAN THROUGH THE AUSSIE SUN

TO GET OVER TO THE LAKE FOR THE FIREWORKS, BABY

AND PARTY, ON INTO THE DAY

IN SOUTH AUSTRALIA I WAS BORN YEAH THE WAY, HE HE THE WAY

IN SOUTH AUSTRALIA, PARTY YEAH FOR AUSTRALIA DAY

WE’RE ON THE TRACK WINDING BACK TO THE OLD FASHIONED SHACK

ON THE ROAD TO BEETALOO, WHERE THE KFC IS THERE FOR FINGER LICKING TASTY CHICKEN

BENEATH OUR SUNNY SKY, MY DADDY IS DEAD, BUT STILL MY MUM, STILL LIVES DOWN MY WAY

NO MORE CAN I ROAM, CAUSE I AM HEADING STRAIGHT FOR HOME

ON THE ROAD TO BEETALOO

SINGING, HEY BABY HEY BABY HEY, BOYS SAY, GIRLS SAY

HEY BABY HEY BABY HEY, BOYS HIT THE GIRLS IN THE BACK, WHATS YA GOING TO SAY ABOUT THAT

WHEN I WAS YOUNG LAD I SIT ON THE COUCH

AND WATCH THE AUSSIE DAY FIREWORKS ON THE TELE

YA SEE, ALL THE GREAT AUSSIES WAVING THEIR FLAGS

AND MY BEER GAVE ME A FAT BELLY

THEN AT QUARTER TO 5, THE COUNTRY SAID SON

NO TIME FOR BLUDGING, THERE IS WORK TO BE DONE

COME ON MATE, CLEAN THE BBQ FOR US

SO WE CAN HAVE AN AUSTRALIA DAY CELEBRATION WITH FAMILY

I AM A ROAST POTATO ROAST POTATO YEAH MATE YEAH

I WRITE THESE STORIES DRINKING MY COKE

YA SEE, THE SUGAR IS COMING THROUGH MY BRAIN

AND DRIVING THE WORLD COMPLETELY INSANE

HOT TOMATO HOT TOMATO, PARTY AT THE MALL

PARTY AT THE SITE OF THE OLD SWING HALL

WHERE I LIVE NOW

I AM MENTAL, I AM CRAZY

I DON’T DO NORMAL, I AM REFORMED FROM MY EVIL

BUT DUDES, I DON’T DO BEHAVING EITHER

THOSE MEN IN CANBERRA WHO TOLD ME TO BEHAVE, CAN GET A LIFE

I HAVE TO BE CAREFUL, ABOUT SAYING THEIR JEALOUS, BECAUSE OF WHAT HAPPENED TO ALLANBY

BUT I AM POOR, I DESERVE THE RIGHT TO BE COOL

IF YOU RICH ****** CAN’T HANDLE IT, WOLLOPOLOO

IT’S NOT A WORD BUT IT’S A COOL THING TO SAY

PARTY PARTY PARTY, TILL THE END OF THE DAY

Hi dudes and welcome to the Saturn community concert and our first guest is Kathryn Roswell who was my grandfather in her previous life and she is singing with Martin the Martian
With a top hat here they are
Their first song is agadoo
Which goes like this
Agadoo doo doo push pineapple shake the tree agadoo doo doo push pineapple grind coffee which was Kathryn’s fave song where she knows the words and the actions to and then she sang elvis Presley’s song love me tender which was a song she loved to sing to me ya know her last life’s grandson and then after that Martin the Martian who was John Mahoney from the tv series Frasier singing
I am a Martian with a top hat and I have no tie and I am ready to party all night when your young you will party
To forget about reality and have a little fun oh yeah party right
Yes everyone is ready to party with
Me and Kathryn yo here on Saturn
And I get my top hat and as I am wearing no tie
Just the perfect shade of green
I am a Martian with a top hat
With a naked green body
I am ready to party yeah
C’mon get out your top hat
And put on your dancing shoes
And party party party all night
And then Kathryn and Martin the Martian played a lot of seventies and eighties songs and everyone got down and danced, the songs were
Dancing queen abba
Sweet home Alabama
American pie don McLean
Standing on the outside cold chisel
Duncan slim dusty using all the names of the people here
And then they left the stage
And bon Scott came on stage with Michael Hutchence and Roy Orbison
Michael on drums Roy vocals and bon
On bass guitar they sang
Pretty woman
You shook me all night long
Suicide blonde
You got it
Who made who
Need you tonight
Handle with care
Thunderstruck
Devil inside
And then they bowed to the audience thanking them for dancing and left the stage
Then the crazy hip hop dancers from Jupiter who were Daniel morecombe
And Graeme Thorne who is me now on earth and Caleb Logan and they danced to great songs like
A hip hop version to YMCA village people and Stan from Eminem and another hip hop version of karma chameleon from culture club standing on the inside looking out which is a song I wrote and performed at the poetry slam and the last one was come on aussies come on the old cricket song and now we have some cosmic belly dancers coming out
Their names are Kim Davidson and Bridget bromhead and Ruth cracknell and they shook their bellies to chicken dance
And nut bush city limits and a Christmas song jingle bells and good ship Lollypop and rock and roll music
And after that the swinging yobbos came out slim dusty Alfred Waldron who was another previous life of mine and my currents life’s late father Barry Allan who is now Betty Campbell
And they sang songs like waltzing Matilda and fly burgers which was my first poem I wrote and a tisket a tasket which we showed our inner ***** and then we played all the afl theme songs starting with Sydney Adelaide Carlton Brisbane Melbourne
West coast Fremantle port Adelaide
The gws giants Gold Coast suns north Melbourne hawthorn st Kilda Essendon Richmond and Collingwood
And finished with the green machine
Canberra Raiders song and we left the stage then I came out to sing this song before the fireworks
It is called the schizophrenic Macarena
1 2 3 4 do the schizophrenic
From the first day you were born
To your current situation
With medication you can be reformed
Yeah mate yeah I am schitzophrenic
Don’t worry about my best mate
His name was rob butler
I wish I could explain it because I know
There was no best friend named rob butler
You see if I was married to Susan brown mate and if I had a family
With two sons David and mike
I know they don’t exist
But in a way I wished they did
And I am schitzophrenic
1 2 3 4 I am schitzophrenic
From the first day I was born
To my current situation
With medication I can be reformed
Wow yeah I am schitzophrenic
I like Christmas
But I am a Buddhist
I like the peace behind it
Despite being anything but at peace
With my crazy mental illness
Then I jumped in the back seat
Of my best mates cab
But the thing about it is
No mate of mine has ever drove a cab
Except Stan niemic but it is not him
1 2 3 4 do the schitzophrenic
From the first day I was born
To my current situation
I wish my childish dillusions will go away cause I hate being schitzophrenic oh yeah bow bow
And now here are the beautiful fireworks and that lit up the sky for 21 minutes, it was beautiful
Bye everyone and I will see you at the next cosmic community concert
Goodbye dudes

All I have to do

is look back and smile
I am not a thief, never stolen from anyone
never so damaged, criminal and undignified
rendered disgraceful enough to burgle my neighbour
a white in a whiteland without the adequacy to survive
due to wasted opportunities, lacking intelligence and drive
becoming a drunk with a hedonistic style while others make hay

All I have to do

is see the truth and smile
I made good use of my opportunities
used my mind and built enough to uphold my self-respect
never stole or misappropriate or wasted myself in a drunken haze
walk a straight path and paid my dues, worked hard and progressed
treated others as I would expect others to treat me fairly and on merit
no shame or guilt on me for I wronged no one and did no borrowing

All I have to do

is watch as envy and hate burn
from those with inadequate lives and feelings of inferiorities
weak pathetic losers whose shame and disgrace turns them toxic
consumed by the fire of envy and jealousy, in dire pain of insecurity
self-loathing turns them into maniacs, hating all that stands for good
mad with hot rage all their passions becomes to destroy and damage
to spread their miseries, project their pain, share their frustrations

All I have to do

is pray for their broken lives and spirits
in me they see the benefit of able education and good breeding
reminding them of their under-development, pettiness and ignorance
my strength and fortitude challenges them and flames their irrationalities
and without the balance and consciousness of guided maturity
they can only be what they are, mindless yobbos, hooligans and thugs
hate mobs baying and crying, immature ignorants and cheap bullies, a brainless rabble, toxic maladjusted cowards.

I am jumping up
Jumping down
I can’t control it
It is my medication
It is seroquel
Which can make my mind jump
You see I hate it hate it hate it
Tuck I wish it’ll stop
I feel like shooting into space
To shoot a cosmic concert
To help the dead enjoy the after life
The medication is pushing me up
For many reasons
Like he doesn’t want me to be lazy
He doesn’t want me get back to the old days where I made my family laugh
Ya know silly things made my family laugh back then
He doesn’t want me to put water on the computer to grow the money tree
He wants me to relax
And have fun
My medication might be trying
To push my house up to space
Leaving people on earth yelling at me
Saying you ain’t a normir mate
You are brainless and dumb
He might want me to go to bed and
Find it herd to sleep because of sleep apnea
My mind is a racing
Racing oh yeah racing
My mind is a racing
Really really fast
It is normal for a mind to race
But not before I went to bed
And yes I think I know another reason why my medication is making my mind race
You see I use to go to the pub in the city or Belconnen and I would hang loose in the city all night, maybe it is my medication saying your don’t go to bed
You stay up with us all night mate
Don’t go to bed early
Pubs are still open Brian
Don’t be shy Brian
GO OUT & PARTY
You see, Brian, you are a man
And I am a kid
You go out with all your chums down the pub
While we stay home and laugh at you getting bashed up or teased by the clubbers
While I am suffering mate
I don’t want to go to pubs
Pubs are for yobbos and *****

It is time to have a good party enjoy a decent lamington
And eat chocolate and milk shakes and yeah
But we don’t need any of that. I can get passed this, I feel positive and I feel cool
I believe in myself to do anything
I drink beer in front of the yobbos they go scull scull scull
I say ok I will do just that
I can’t figure out what my dream was last night but
In hindsight it was a fucken nightmare and dreaming of it
Gets it out of my head
I play mr baseman
And I play it very loud and cool I love to have a beer with Duncan
But he isn’t my mate
Because he used me
He just cares for the richer end of town and not for my end
You see I wish the world was easy
But that doesn’t mean it is going to be easy
Because we are having a beer in the club and we get a beer gut
And we drink all the way Amarillo saying we need to party all night and say
Drink beer drink bourbon drink ***** drink softies drink wine drink cider and then get drunk
Party and we think about the wood chip which turned into the news paper which reads us the news but the internet is the best paper, save the trees and go online dudes