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Ma Cherie Jul 2016
"I'm NOT going to tell you
this is NOT
JUST a test
like I tell ALL the rest

that it's ONLY
a test?
C'mon
you should know better"

I'm noticing this guy has a lot of ink
all over
and the darkest kind

"So it's NOT
Not an ordinary exam?
this ain't basketball tryouts?"
I ask...
"I just took a walk in the park
had a...
white
****** knuckle sandwich
I played pinochle
with the Old Man
rode in bear backed
like Lady Godiva...."

I heard
words &
Maniacal laughter
played by symphony  of demons
& smirking
violinists in the background

"I'll tell you it
is
in
FACT
a
TEST
****
a super difficult one..."
then

".....continue reading my contract...."

reading and absorbing
unfathomable amounts of learning
and yearning
with
excellent Earning Potential
requires a decent,
above average
genius IQ
i don't need anything
other than...
to
leave my heart behind
and any other angels
my set of wings
saved aside
this is just a ride
I tell myself
they cast him out you know
fallen Angel
and....no other Gods, Mommy, Daddy, deities....xcetera.

"logically it's been there all along
everyone hears me
not like you can IGNORE my voice
you've seen my ad...."

(a bony finger with a long sharp nail
points upward)...

"up there
you know where...
on the billboard in Times Square
i am 100% certain it was you"

and it is
here I am.
Okay, I'm in control...breathe
take a sip of moonshine first
shhhhh...
listen
a little chuckle

Lucifer continues....

"You can bring Conscience along
she has been cleared.. "
Loudspeaker coming on
"We repeat
this is NOT a Strong Storm warning
there won't be any arms waving
no lights like at the airport
telling you where to land
no hands outside the vehicle
or for holding"

A pause,
finally...in closing
he looks my way...saying

"You'll stop at the Crossroads
lose the shirt
see a
blinking Amber Alert
don't stop at the bar
no flirting....

look back
actually there's a poetic flood
it's coming
that 'deluge' of your
bloodstained Indigo ink"
filled paper
boats are
floating &
he is gloating
"you might refer to the Ark section
of your Manual
before it's time to go...."

I gather important
necessary documents
for example making sure my will is signed
on the dotted line
***** donor checked off
blood type
leaving all others behind
no certainty of any kind
may not return
from an
Unknown Destination
things tend to get worse
  before they get better
  grab a sweater
a bumpy ride
my friend
dragging those
    sharpened ink filled
       fingertips
       down a chalkboard...
       I  buckle up
   transportation provided
nausea subsided
here I go
down below
  "I thought
     I would
     always have to
      take you
       kicking......
        & screaming
        still saying the
        Lord's Prayer
        signed, sealed
          & delivered."
         I smile...
         nod ...
          I say
         "Yut...
           guess so"
            time to go
           getting up
            from a chair...
             & I swear
              I am
              walking
               out
                no
                room
                for
 ­                any
                 doubt.

Cherie Nolan © 2016
Recently had a seizure in my sleep, had before during bad insomnia and anxiety....mixed with prescribed new medications in the study of Medicine
unknown reasons, it felt like I was pinned to the bed and I remembered something my Maternal Grandmother told me to recite the Lord's Prayer, she said there would be times when I would need it
and I have
  somehow I could do it even if I wasn't saying it sounded like I was trying to apparently.
I'm not overly religious
baptized Catholic, born again Christian
Native American dreamer...
but  I am very spiritual and it got me through that horrible thing whether it was a dream, a seizure or something else, prayer works.
"Our Father
who art in heaven
hallowed be thy name
thy kingdom come
thy will be done on Earth
as it is in heaven
Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us and lead us not into temptation but Deliver Us from Evil
And I believe there's an Amen
Some possible alternative endings ...
anyway thanks all :)
"It's funny, How things always come full circle"... This was the single line I had wrote for a poem that didn't have a title and never posted and is still a draft to this day. I had forgotten ever writing it, Yet it is very true. Many believe that surviving your lowest point, Rock bottom, Means things can only become easier. That is never the case, You merely learn how to live with it, The memories, The mistakes. I know that I haven't posted here in a long time, And that mostly is because I've been on writers block, And running. Running from myself, The past, The memories, And mistakes because I don't know how to face them. To face myself. While yes, I could turn this into some poem with lots of imagery, Metaphors, Xcetera, Like how I have had them in the past, It would only be me running. Distractions. Distractions from the main point of the poem. In another poem talking about a glass of water, I mentioned that you sometimes have to look at the whole picture to notice the tiny details, I wrote this because if you focus too much on the tiny details. You will always be blinded to the whole painting. I got into writing poetry due to a quote that I once read in a book; "Learn about art, Captain. Once you understand a species art, You understand that species". This is a Star Wars quote for those of you that don't know. The reason why this got me into writing poetry is because I've always considered poetry a art and I was hoping that I could finally understand myself is it. Only, That isn't the case it seems. I will continue writing "poems" here and there if you can even call what I post here poems, But will most likely stay quite like I have been, Until I am almost completely forgotten once again. I guess in the end, I was correct though, Things do always come full circle, Don't they?

I guess in the end, It will all fit together.
In the end, It will all fit together.

— The End —