dis- (negation of) -ease can take up so many forms of expression, the likely venture in a coffee shop with espressos variants and mocha coffee, or the lattes and something else.

which hardly means Paul McCartney dreaming
up *yesterday or Robert Stevenson with dr. jekyll and
mr.vhyde - when the weaknesses of yours
express themselves naturally - you accept them -
the only riches are bound to health -
all others care nothing - take away the able body
or the mind - and you take social realities -
i remember running wild with Peter and Ciarán -
slobbering off car parks on people's heads with spit,
surviving mugging, getting underwear-wedged on
park fences - deciding to smoke *** aged 21 for
the first time - listening to Limp Biscuit while
playing pool and donning Samuel L. Jackson Kangoo
hats john otto, take 'em to the matthew's bridge -
****'s sake, the who?! long gone. moths frantic right now -
we walked the mall, the bought artefacts before
digitalisation took over - and the book was lost
among toilet-paper heaps - 'cos when you need
a ****** to wipe his **** you need to write a book -
to feel seminal and human.
like the way Ilford high-street changed from Jew haven
into Bombaystan - that Ilford is mythical -
clever cue to suit a hardened worth of wearing tuxedo -
Maggie in the Sky filled with Piggy-stockpile Metaphors -
white boy rap - coo or undo clue - the same
**** precipitates into brown men in autumn
salivated together with oak drop leaves -
so hey ***, how's my solo? good or not good enough
to churn a mirror scene at a party?
'cos the cool kids "hang out", i guess **** of butter either.
as abandoned poetics had it: ensure it rhymes.
but it was me Peter and Ciarán on the weekend -
hell-raisers before i started smoking dope -
oh come on! i just turned 30 i'm allowed slang -
it's not unruly to rule the rubric with some sentiment
without wish for retirement -
ah man, that ****** in South Park - Ciarán just
hanging there in mid-air - got a g-string to boot -
i have to admit, the smart ones in England got out
of the education system aged 16 - the dumb-*****
made it to university - connectivity came in even if you
excelled - the smart ones got out aged 16 -
dumb ones like us with immigration a surrogate
family of ideas kept it up to university level and received
jiggly-squat of **** to get bothered in encouraging
attention to the idea of society - gave up, rebelled,
started singing X Ambassadors' song like Christmas carols -
readying ourselves for our parents to die,
watching our parents watching their parents die -
readying for the squat - as i once said:
i know a place where i can bottle clean Evian water -
you have to pass the centurion guards that might
kick you in the head if you try feeding them your
hand rather than a sugar-cube... but that's fresh water -
some *** left a ceramic tomb where the stream runs
free. or the maxim from high-school:
take a picture... it'll last longer;
it doesn't matter, aged 18 through to 21 i was sticking
******* into my mouth to imitate a Roman rite of
passage -
just when Eminem came out -
and wrestling was a beehive with Kane and the Undertaker
and StoneCold - cheeky chic wahwah on the turntables -
but **** me that ****** on the park fence
by a centimetre missing Ivan the Impale(r)'s tactic -
at this point can come like an e-mail,
that @ stamp can **** itself... i'm ready...
it's the cinema that no one bothers with -
there for the taking - spitting on a man's head
from a car-park uppermost level -
getting ****** for the first time with white lightning
cider. Pete? lost his teeth, got a mother of a beauty's
worth of **** last time i met him in a pub -
Ciarán became a nightclub door gorilla -
well, you know my story -
it's hardly the twinning of the Krays -
although that was on the cards -
last time the high-school people were together
we were at the Beckton bowling-alley
jumping into plastered fake walls head-diving
until i broke the wall with a cranium of an elephant's
worth of horizontal canon-ball gravity propeller;
mind you, Beckton stinks of **** in the high
season of the recycling harvest - A13 via Barking?
i'm not too sure - i never bothered to learn to drive -
i took the Chinese route - bus stop wankers? sure.
bicycle wankers? tell that to the Beijing horde -
shame i boxed Ciarán's kidneys in once before
we were lessened in B-tech queuing to enter class.

Jocks

While lovely Eileen entertained us all,
with her wonderful words of lace and satin,
it made me want to answer the call,
make guys proud, like General Patton

the guys wear jocks to cloister their tools,
the perfect size so hard to find,
need to protect those precious jewels,
from errant kicks and grabs from behind

most are just elastic and cotton,
some are furry you get from **** shops,
absorb the sweat they smell quite rotten,
pick up with 1 finger or handles of mops

the backs are weird like gives you ******,
when grabbed by the band and yanked real hard,
guys in gym like to snap like frozen veggie,
then try to get you on their dance card

cause now you can sing those real high notes,
your face quite large like you have the mumps,
squeal like girlie man being attacked by goats,
don't bend over you expose those rumps    

but it is important to protect your package,
keep is safe for your favorite gal,
not real good to have swollen sackage,
not even if choice is a guy named Hal

Gomer LePoet...

after witty humour, which spawned slapstick... slapstick can only spawn the last of the known humours... the offensive type, the 'get me out of this straithjacket of everything's fine apathy,' the ugly humour... rude humour... i take oaths humour... i rather write a swear word to oil up than degrade myself with thesaurus usage humour.*

why is poetry such a ***** of coding
daily activity...
who needs poetry if the everyday is intact?
atheism didn’t **** god...
it merely killed the logic of myth....
atheism is far worse than mythology...
it just regurgitates facts
to make you submit to them
without the necessary philosophical awe of
finding them interesting...
poetry isn’t dead... it’s a *****...
which is worse than death where i come from...
there’s ezra with his fountain comparison:
‘i ****** in it... and put pigmenting chlorine in it -
you **** in it... streaks of blue... i think
that’s called cubism in france.’
did i say alcoholism was engineered by the nazis
for the bomb sarcasm?
cheap humour you say... ah well slapstick was invented
after sarcasam...
i heard the new best anti-ageing cream was butter rather than l’oreal -
there are too many stages in the differences of women,
i quite like the summer spring autumn winter thing going...
it’s like this thing that’s happening right now...
christian nations censor words... like ****... cultish **** of the brothel...
and islamic nations invoke words... like kefir (sour milk,
not quite youghurt), dawah... adhan salat abraham...
one party censors words for excess *****...
saying: ‘we don’t like swear words in accomplished spelling,
we like dyslexia and **** teen **** graphic...’
sounds about right...
the other party says: ‘we hate censoring ***** words,
that’s doubly censoring,
censor ***** words get more dirt out of it...
we invoke the power of arabic to teach koran latin for
the knobs!’
problem sorted... we’re all power brokers of spelling /
punctuation / arithmetic -
that’s what i don’t get,
the ratio of the two languages...
all you have in the digits A to Z is spelling and punctuation...
but what you have in the digits ZERO to NINE
is so much more...
is grammar a castle that’s keeping certain functions out?
in mathematics you have +, x, obelisk, -, square root, etc.
but in linguistics you have this permament reminder:
SPELL RIGHT FROM WRONG AND RITE FROM THONG.
well... ****** me timbers...
i think i just spotted a lumberjack chequers tweed jacket.

I've seen the face of evil
It tried to stare me down
It expected me to run
But instead I stood my ground

Its eyes were bloodshot red
Like a ****** high on ****
Its teeth were in a glass
It tried to gum me half to death

Its nose was like a cactus root
Twenty times compounded
I've never seen a cactus root
I just like the way it sounded

A **** stood high upon its back
That looked like a wayward camel
Covered in hair from head to toe
It just had to be a mammal

Horns fastened atop its head
It had such a horrible growl
Each time it did, it would drool a bit
So I gave it a paper towel

I'm telling you this thing was evil
I think it wanted my soul
I finally tried to run away
But the thing wouldn't let me go

It grabbed a hold of my belt loop
And I was pulling with all my might
I think it gave me a ******
Cause my underwear was gettin' tight

The beast was trying to **** me
Then someone turned on the light
If you think it was mother-in-law
Then, once again, you're right

I am a series of problems,  you see.

I am that annoying song stuck in your head, the reason you can't get to sleep. I am the creepy girl in some horror movie that you swear you keep seeing around town, and the notification you got a little too late. I'm the embarrassing email you just sent, the one simple word you misspelled on an otherwise perfect paper, I am the stain you didn't know you had on the shirt you got two weeks ago. I am your work that nobody else seems to appreciate, and I am the voice in your head telling you that you are not good enough. I'm the grammar problem spell checks don't pick up on, I am the big piece of cake you promised yourself you wouldn't eat, but ate anyway. I am the ****** you won't pick in public and the moment your favorite cousin opens the birthday present you got her just to be very disappointed at what's inside. I am the thunder your dog is afraid of, the bikini you're too insecure to wear, the frizz of frizzy hair, I am the pair of jeans you had when you were younger that you wish your mom never gave away. I am your lost pair of favorite socks, a cavity, a weight gain.

I am your disaster, aren't I?

audio me in... tell the b.t. off standards
to change the connection to lie to get to syria...
i wanted to become a butcher too...
not butchering people though...
onomatopeias of resonance of blah... blah...
you know... woollen trill...
i want the target bacon, i want to target bacon
on that ****... head-banging with a pony
while blowing a sheen into a rodin marble
for the glisten of a haircut mare...
dark ivory like purple of a grenade of indigo
blotched with blood...
and spanked / spiked by kandinsky...
i told you i woz a barking gimmick, a barking cult-piece of mafia...
you’ve been warned dear bouncer allotment and semi-detached...
hey kieran - had his kidneys transplanted aged 15...
took to having a ****** aged 16 on the south park fence
when two ******* eyed us and the boys came to make cake...
oi boys r’ us you mention st. petersburg anywhere south of the thames?
i thought so...
make that spelling spaghetti for a kebab of dead meat
appealing:
it’s making headlines, people are fed fat but sugar headlines...
when fat headlines... people will be fed sugar...
salt will never compromise the use of steroids for balloon pop protein
for a mere attire of the bow tie undone with laze.

“Ladies and gentlemen,” his voice reverberates throughout the ballroom, “this last one is a personal favorite.”

As the music cues up, the young couple pulls away from the loud speakers and blinding stage lights, theirs bodies swaying from side to side as they dance slowly on the outskirts of the crowd.  They look deeply into each other’s eyes as the young girl wraps her arms around his neck to draw him nearer.  She sings along with Berlin softly into his ear,

“Watching I keep waiting still anticipating love
Never hesitating to become the fated ones
Turning and returning to some secret place to hide
Watching in slow motion as you turn to me and say

“Take my breath away...”

She draws back and smiles, “I love you, Chad Stoper.”  He says nothing, and she leans in for a kiss, pressing her lips against his.  Unresponsive to the warmth of her mouth, his lips are cold and flat.  Pulling back, she gazes upon his faded complexion.  

Frozen in time, his 4x6 glass prison is smeared by years of her kisses.  A sigh escapes her lips as she gently sets Chad back onto her nightstand next to the jagged stack of romance novels.  Quickly crossing the room, she presses rewind on her beloved “Prom 1987” mixed tape so that her ritual can begin without hesitation at 10:00PM again tomorrow.

She sneaks one last glance at Chad and giggles, “Oh, Chad – Stop it!  You shouldn’t stare at me like that.”  Red floods her cheeks as she bends over to pick up her watering can.  The smell of the stagnant water goes unnoticed, and she proceeds to water each of the plastic flower arrangements on her windowsill, a giggle escaping her lips with each miniscule tilt of the watering can.  “Oh, my babies… you’re growing so quickly!”  She bends forward to press her nose into the dust-covered petals, “And you even smell more mature.   I’m such a proud mommy!”

Her stomach suddenly growls, and she immediately sets down the watering can, sloshing water onto the stained carpet.  In moments, she has reached the refrigerator and reaches in to grab the last remaining hotdog out of its slimy package.  Leaning back against the kitchen sink, she knocks over the pile of mold-encrusted plates as her large arm reaches past to grab the can of spray cheese sitting on the counter.  

In a moment of ecstasy, she tilts back her head and empties the can of synthetic cheese into her mouth.  She foregoes swallowing, allowing the substance to encase her throat, another chin appearing as she opens her mouth even further to consume the cold, slimy intestine.  

Satisfied, she heads back to her bedroom, too focused on the aftertaste in her mouth to notice the cat litter accumulating on the bottom of her socks.  She glances at the romance novels sitting on her nightstand, the light reflecting off of the once-matte finish, now covered in a glossy mess of hotdog juice finger prints.  She pauses in a moment of consideration, looking from her novels to the ***** on the floor next to her bed.  

A yawn escapes her lips.

Tomorrow.  There’s always tomorrow.

She shuffles over to the bed, yanking out a ****** as she climbs on top of the covers.  

“Good night, Chad Stoper,” she looks one last time into his eyes, “I love you.”

Why is life such a a meanie such a bully
There's no controlling it, it's so unruly
Some times it only gives me a ******, other times it knocks me to my knees
It just does what it please
But lately it's been knocking me out
What the **** is that all about
Life sure does need to stop this plight
That it has against my right
To be happy now and then
So I can at lest offer the world a grin
But I still have a furrowed brow
I wear the same old scowl
Because my life is such a bully
It's become so ******* unruly

Why is life such a a meanie such a bully
There's no controlling it, it's so unruly
Some times it only gives me a ******, other times it knocks me to my knees
It just does what it please
But lately it's been knocking me out
What the **** is that all about
Life sure does need to stop this plight
That it has against my right
To be happy now and then
So I can at lest offer the world a grin
But I still have a furrowed brow
I wear the same old scowl
Because my life is such a bully
It's become so ******* unruly

I'm the kind of person...
Who scratches their crotch in public
I reach up and dig a ****** out whenever
If I gotta pick my nose, ****** I pick it
I pick up the clump of hair in the shower with my bare hands
If the food is good, I inhale it
I eat with intent, with no regard for being tidy
I belch in public and think it's funny
Sometimes I forget to wash my hands after I ****
My shoes smell real bad
I haven't washed my sheets since I started college
I shower every three to four days
I'm the kind of person who talks to myself
I laugh at my own jokes
One day I'm wearing a petite feminine dress
And the next I'm wearing a men's button up with baggy cargo pants
My aesthetic switches from ***** hippy, emo punk, to vintage princess
My mood changes from suicidal numb girl
To thinking I can fix the entire planet in a day
I'm the kind of person who neglects to tell people when something they are doing is bothering me
I am a people pleaser
I space out and stare at nothingness
Sometimes I won't shut up
While other times I won't talk for the whole day
I want to try every single type of ethic food in existence
My music taste varies as much as my clothing style does
I wish I could be a doctor, farmer, astronaut, fire fighter, photographer, and homeless at the same time
Nothing bothers me more than feeling unintelligent
I bite my nails in front of people when I'm uncomfortable
I *** in swimming pools
I don't like the idea of traditional dates
I want to be able to talk about poops and farts on the first date
I become quiet when I'm really angry and I never address the real issue
I am all of these things and more
And for the most part, I like it
I like it in all of its *****, gross, ****** up, complicated, diverseness.
Today is a good day.

This is less a poem
And more an observation
But
Whoever decided to call it a "******"
Deserves a standing ovation

i was never a big fan
of limp bizkit...
o.k., i was when
i managed to land a spit-bomb,
on someone,
from the roof of
storied parking lot,
with peter richardson
in tow...
            and we laughed it
off...
           i once attired
myself as samuel jackson
with a kagol flat cap...
   hold on: the song,
we we're never left touch
attire, ourselves with the mad *******,

i'll keep my memory
of peter intact wit
kieeran...
and what the hell happend
jumping over that
south park fence...
  dangling monkey...
  ******...
              after the hours....
me and kieeran...
knuckle assured.
around the kidneys...
     punching each other silly....

youth club,
we used to chase
snooker cues
and girls and chances
of labouring under *****
mags...
most notsbly from Ypres....
******* h'america....
death sow, death sigh...

   death via h'america....
limp bizkit..
hold on.

"they" kept scrambling,
scuttling their way back
into the asylum...

   like there was no
retraction...

   videos and response
videos...

      and then...
    someone left something,
and there was no
comment section...
  
and it read,
as a litany worth of all
that was not pop
via the dada movement...

arthur cravan
    jacques riguat
     julien torma
          jacques vache
   (jack...
  jackson...
   why not: ja' que!
           huh?)

and then the whole, "thing"
imploded
into a high school
schoolyard brawl...
scuffle...
   whatever you call
throwing an orange
at someone's head...
playing the lottery...
will it hit him...
or will it miss...
  a bit like three
beavis & butthead
loons
staying out too late,
forgetting to leave
a park...
jumping over
the fence,
and the fat one...
jumps...
  then gets "hanged",
by a ******...
on the park fence...
and you're wondering:
how many more seconds...
before we release this
budgerigar...
from an abstract fence...
when he's still...
a fat boy,
dangling on a park fence...
yapping like
some ugly duckling...
dangling...
      from a "noose"
of his underwear
being caught on a
vlad the impaler safe-keep?

  **** it, let's all be
as pedantic as: moi...
   and sift through
what's,
i assure you: to come.

life was so pure...
back when,
you'd huddle in for a friday
night...
and never take gaming
seriously...

  gaming would be akin
to reviving the understanding
of chess...
or mahjong...
   you'd spend
a "solipsistic" saturday
morning...
not worrying about homework
until sunday night...
and...
you'd congregate,
go to the shopping-centre...
and buckaroo
the afternoon away...

     like now...
me: eyes: void / blank...
good thing i didn't learn anything
about leaving comments,
or engaging in:
a comment section...
i'm all pro democracy...
but...
  comment sections, per se?
that's worse than a tweet...
given the current twitter
debacle...
   never used it...
moved to gab.com...
huh? i don't know how
to use that...
give me a ******* hammer
and a nail
and a book by heidegger:
sure...
    we can make that work...

like, i wanted to leave
the schoolyard at some point...
but then the ****
just kept nagging me
back into a mafia-esque
demand for cipher-zunge...

you know why comment
sections ****?
i remember the days
of the microsoft chat-rooms,
the m.s.n. hybrids
of social media...

        whatever this is...
       it is, whatever that was,
and neither,
will ever meet.

p.s.
      anger...
isn't that something worth
pacifying with copious
     amounts of ms. amber?
****... better buy
a camera and a mic.
and record myself saying
something:
that i can't quiet, literally,
think through.