I am sorry for all the nights I spent crying, only blaming you
you were just the scape goat, it was the easiest thing to do
I am sorry for carving into you with dull blades,
but I couldn't stand thinking you were not beautiful.
I am sorry for punching you when I was so angry
by just the sight of you, the harmless pieces of flesh
seemed like the easiest fight, the only one I could win.
I am sorry for leaving you empty of nutrience,
pretending not to hear you plea, I thought if maybe
you starved a little, it might make me pretty.
I am sorry for keeping you hidden away,
locked under layers for no one to see,
I thought if your flesh was showing,
no one would like me for me.
I am sorry for calling you names, thinking if you felt small,
you'd be small too, loving you in all your glory
wasn't something I was capable to do.
I am sorry for stuffing you in tight spandex
because I was afraid of seeing your lines, I thought if
everything was smooth, it would make me feel fine.
I am sorry for slapping away people's hands when
they touched over your ruffled skin,
it's taken me awhile to learn how not to flinch.
I am sorry for all the time I've spent villainizing you,
every inch, every bump and mark -
you didn't deserve to only be loved on in the dark.
Forgive,
Marrisa
