When the wind works against us in the dark,  
And pelts with snow  
The lowest chamber window on the east,  
And whispers with a sort of stifled bark,  
The beast,
‘Come out! Come out!’—
It costs no inward struggle not to go,  
Ah, no!  
I count our strength,  
Two and a child,
Those of us not asleep subdued to mark  
How the cold creeps as the fire dies at length,—
How drifts are piled,  
Dooryard and road ungraded,  
Till even the comforting barn grows far away
And my heart owns a doubt  
Whether ’tis in us to arise with day  
And save ourselves unaided.

Ungraded roads have many holes,
Gravel, and running ditches.
Before a rain, they seem more wide than narrow.
Long but terminal.
These roads I'm led to roam,
Not straight, but bending to travel.

Signs warn of deer or bumps,
With a bridge dead ahead.
Chances are, it's a single lane,
And timing dictates crossing.

My spinning wheels clear the ruts,
But soon they fill again,
As if I never passed.

Enough
ungraded papers
to make
a coffee table.
Hello, Sunday!

Reading your words of hate I start to think
Was it me that pushed you to that virulent brink,
Contemning the world, or were you always that way?
I don't recollect or recall ever hearing you say
Satan gripped your throat, or that your angels cried
Tears of blood when you looked to their mournful eyes.
I confessed to biting the apple in their sympathetic trials,
But more lies still concoct in this alchemist's phials.

          I found myself writing the way I used to long ago,
          But God knows I don't feel the way I did.
          I try to remember all I learnt in Eden's groves,
          But I can't find the lessons in memories I hid.

You can hate me all you want, it changes nothing,
'Cause it's dead and gone and I find my new self coughing
And choking on the words that I have to whisper to them;
I am silently descending to a distant end.
I've painted all my sins onto these walls in my mind,
But someday I'll be leaving this all behind,
Taking nothing but the signatures and faded scars,
Leaving behind pieces of my blackened heart.

          Have I found myself, or is the girl I am long gone?
          I don't know the reflection in the pools of tears.
          As I sit hear repeating words of other's songs,
          I met their expectations by embodying their fears.

I failed and ruined every single thing that mattered
Lying in the shards of glass from mirrors I shattered.
They cut into my lungs and rattle in my hollow chest
As I lay here and force out these final breaths.
Your heart dances to read I'm close to the end,
Do you remember when we said we'd stay as friends?
I was wrong, it turns out I do despise you,
I can't forgive or forget the monster I see inside you.

          I find myself look up and ask "Who are we now?"
          And see nothing but bitter clouds blocking the sun,
          A deadening silence cascades on all that surrounds,
          I am lost, but this is something you haven't won.


                                    (If life is just another ****** up examination
                                     I'll die ungraded, degraded by this thoughtless nation.
                                      If life is just another step towards a place in heaven
                                       I will gladly walk to hell, 'cause I am filled with the seven.
                                        And it is with no knowledge of on whom I can depend
                                                 I will sit here, won't pray,
                                                     Continue to pretend
                                                         ­   I'm okay.)