Gently,
like a man
afraid of everything,
you hide
and I don't see you for years
then you appear in the next
subway car
face like a convicted criminal
you're shrunken down
and hunched over
and bald

and for the first time
I feel pity for you
mixed with my anger and disgust

I am burdened with the unanswered!
Does you past make you shiver
now that the wind of chance
has brought us together
and blown away the cobwebs of lies
that you use like a Tensor
to keep your guilt from swelling?

Do you cough up the bile
(that is so hard to swallow)
of that time of pain
that is now so old and neglected
it barely has memories
to cling to?

You see I know she left you too

I watch you across
the multitude of strangers
each of us
safe
from our regrets
and remorse
living like cowards
in the shackles
of our fear

I endure the pain of looking at you
I withstand the enslaught of memories
the bitterness of loss
I feel the pain
and I swallow
and for the first time
in a long time
I let it soak in
and when I re-focus my eyes
you are gone.

Confusion's forsaken my thoughts to the long-lost brothers of insecurity.
Forcibly taken and tossed aside to hide within the lies of insincerity.

Kindred servant's lullabies:
Forgotten songs of yesterday,
Soothe me into waking nightmare.

Lead-shoed memories float upon seas made of stone,
Buried shallower than a grass-fed grave.

Anxious tensor userp my synapse's happiness...
Clutching my eversweet peace like a spoil'd child.
Hidden from view,
but most certainly there.

Dare me to escape the frozen steel I call home.
Wrought Irony,
Dragging my prison beneath my feat...

Misspelling's intentional because my feat?
Dragging my feet.

Asleep at the wheel,
my heart is steel.

Awoken stone cries gravel tears,
bruising my feet as I walk,
Talking as if the sensation is anything less than profoundly real.

Tangency is my thought process,
Clever distractions from the harbor'd fears:
just look the other way.

Case in point:
Confusion's forsaken my tears,
as my fears fade away,
if only to return another page.

Lost my way to the basis
Tensor product; Cartesian Mapping
How many dimensions does this reality have?

Take the triple integral over the
[X   Y   Z] domains of my heart
There's a discontinuity where you should be...
So the operation fails

A lonely vector space without its covector
A negative limit as time approaches infinity
A wayward zero that's not allowed a reciprocal

Even though we are a million miles apart

I can feel you close

Next to me

As I lie here

And look at the stars

Even though we are a million miles apart

I feel your virtual hugs through the screen

And I hug u back as hard as I can

Because

Because you always know what I mean

Because you always know when to leave me on seen

Because you always know that even though

We are just fifteen

You have become my caffeine

Keeping me up through the night

As I choose which battles to fight

But you with my side it seems serene…

With you relativity becomes real

And this is not something I say

But I mean I do almost every single day

But it is also something I feel

You influence the gravitational matrix around me

To change singular tensor to make me

Fall for you harder and harder every day

They say,

That every action has an opposite and equal reaction,

Well my reactions to your actions is way more

Than equal and the opposite of opposite reactions

Your silence

Is more peaceful than that of the night

More calming than waves hitting a seashore

More serene than clouds moving by

Through the beautiful pink sky at the end of a sunny day

More calming then raindrops hitting a metal roof

during a thunderstorm

For our love is like a rose

The thorns,an illusion

And the petals the reality

Wish you'd stick around
Wish the end of all that ends
Wish this start of spring implodes in love
Wish the prices of groceries go down
Wish you'd like me now
Wish the past doesn't have a bomb on its neck
Wish I'd stop worrying and daydreaming
Wish the world could see me
Wish I could not unsee destiny
Wish I could marginalize fantasy from reality
Wish I could control condensing droplets under my eyelids
Wish the happy sorrow and laughing about it
Wish the definition of tensor was simple
Wish the matrix was not so difficult and it had symmetry
Wish you'd stick around
Wish the end of all that ends