Pointless memories,
Unachievable goals,
Pain ,
Regrets  
All those things race through my veins and into my heart.
Nobody understands what it feels like , to glide on gravity with a hollow heart.  
Incapable to feel emotion , my heart is hidden in a somber moonlight.
My heart isn't impeccable as others. It's full of cracks and broken wires.
My heart doesn't properly function well with love...
Love Love Love Love Love
Makes my heart cringe , pumping very queasy when it thinks of love...
My heart uncontrollably bleeds , when it tries to dangerously stitchs love into it.
Nobody understands what it feels like , to glide on gravity with a hollow heart.  
Incapable to feel emotion , my heart is hidden in a somber moonlight.
Whose is to blame but thyself ?

In final journey, there
was a collective guilt.
To find an opus, I reach out
for a carbon pit.

It was not your grief
not my miracle. Collecting the
cadavers to sleep with―
for warmth.

Ashes, you poke at the
art. Except self-elevation
and grandiosity, what to discover
in the heap of refuse?

You start nibbling at your
clothes. The scream melts at
the stitchs. Style wavers,
you become naked.

3 month too early , two and a half pound at birth it was a struggle to even enter this earth . It was november 29th the day that i came , who knew mum and dads life would never be the same. Too small to push too weak could bearly breath. Rushed to critical care for those babies at the edge of life, could doctors really play god and give the gift of life? Poked and prodded and hooked to heart monitoring machines it was like a horror movie scene. As hours and days turn to weeks my tiny heart with a hole at its core turns weak along with my future being so bleak. Open heart surgery on a baby as small as the surgeons hand , the hole even smaller like a grain of sand. Using stitchs the size and width of the surgeons hair breaths held as they make a delicate heart repair. A newborn heart repaired seeps with love at its stitched seems . Like a knife in the back and a bullet through the mind the doctors said their baby girl could go blind. At 72 hours of life i had already been under the knife in attempts to save my sight. 3 weeks had passed with no sign of life mummy and daddys baby was losing her fight for life. Mummy and daddy i need you to see it was not you it was me i needed time to rest and heal. Prayers said and answered and out the coma i came with my sight maraculously regained . A surgery that saved my sight almost cost me my life. So small and thin you could see through my wather thin skin to what lay within , something as simple as taking off a bandaid caused pain. Doctors said menangitis and water on the brain. Brain surgery comenced to fit an internal drain to save my fragile  damadged brain. Menangitis came and went but now its back again. Two more shunts were placed. A third one now tucked away in its place to keep my brain safe. The size of mum and dads hand weighed as much as a bag of sugar in your hand. Doctors called me mericle child cos all that could of killed me i concored and survived. 8 months in critical care giving mummy and daddy quite the scare but at least i had my life to spare. I was able to finally go home a poorly baby no more. Its now 16 and a half years later and i survived i am a angel in disguise.