my past  is a blur
but of very clear scenes

something I will never forget
someone I'll never be

lies and excuses
came from my mouth

you may think you understand
but you don't know what my life was about

quietly walking
sliding the door open so slow

climbing the fences
my rebellious side began to show

hopped in a car
a prized one at that

black interior
leather seats is where I sat

sometimes on him
or maybe someone other

I laid myself across
never thinking of my mother

she was sick
she was dying

I was begging for attention at night
I spent over a year trying

drug deals I watched
bottles I drank

I was aboard a scary ship
one that was bound to be sank

drinking so much
the taste was good on my tongue

although so was his mouth
alcohol created so much fun

alcoholic, sexaholic
both very strong words

I fell within both
it was quite absurd

knifes and fights
stitches and blood

crawling through tight spaces
ruining clothes with mud

cops were the enemy
from them I always ran

afraid of my own self
welcoming any man

I started to get help
from close ones to me

they helped me out
they made me believe

throughout all of this
I am proud to say

i'm happy for my past
I wouldn't be who I am today

strong-willed, and responsible
upon my shoulders, a good head

always sticking to my word
never forgetting the promises I said

happy and calm
no longer someone wild

I have grown into a woman
not anymore am I a child

this may scare you
hearing about my past

but this was only a summary
the real thing doesn't go by so fast

I keep most of it secret
only myself will ever know

now happy and go lucky
i'll stick with this new flow