a surprise.
one that greets with fire
but not through candle
it is match stick
spark lit
aggressive heat that the brain fights to suppress
it was 2 in the afternoon when it happened
no warning sign
no bright red label
surrounded with people i knew
and god, they k n e w
i didnt think it would happen like that
a slow hum of sharp fear
blue flame familiarity
its embers buried inside of my toothpick ribcage
i couldnt get it out in time
and so the panic set in.
im afraid to ask if anyone else here is no stranger to that introduction
like a song that begins with the loud part
and only the loud part
and it is constantly the loud part
red spilling into your eardrums
clanging around the tympanic membrane and right down to your gut
it looks like boulders
like the Grand Canyon splitting
or a forever small box
the way it looked never changed.
seeing the pale blue crystal in tears
hard, burned oak in my fists
egg-shell knuckled but ready to rip limb from limb
and then it evaporates.
like the way fog breath disappears into the air
it mixes in with the sadness.
and i apologize if this is too graphic but
it looks like an eclipse
if our era was set in BC 196
because you see its like a volcano
and maybe someone else has said it was like that too
but it is.
it is your brain-skin melting
and resolidifying
within the span of only 15 minutes or less
it's breathing in nails
in thirsty desert
but when my body tires of this
I trust in myself that it will
my blood find their wave of calm
i will remember the bright yellow of you
the pale periwinkle smile
and warm kind of blue.