"psycologist" poems - Hello Poetry

I know I was never there to begin with, but will you still accept me into your heart? I know its messed up, and everyday I wish I took those seven steps needed to confront. You're all I ever wanted, but without the permanent affiliation. I just wanted you to call every now and then, Tell me that you're okay and you don't need the extra five or ten. I'm emptying out and keeping the lies on my lips. Inches away from you, holding tears back from my eyelids. I wonder what kind of life I'd have lived if I would've tapped your shoulder, Or what kind of regrets I'd have had if I would've pulled that trigger. That's all behind me, but I always end up facing the other way. But who's to say it's the wrong way? For all I know, this is the world telling me to end my day. But every time I open my eyes and wake up, You're still on my mind, but without the make up. You're scars are showing, And your tears are flowing. You're eyes are holding and you'll never understand how much you mean to me, theres no way of knowing! You cut to conclusions and split the wrist! I'm crazy just as much and you never ask me why I close my fists. We're not the same yet we're making the same mistakes. If I tried to end my life would you hold it onto me? Tell me it's against my religion and culture and never look at me? Without feeling ashamed, this life is so young but the time is so old, And I might be freezing but thats because I'm so cold. My heart is so overwhelmed and It's basically sold to the man in the black suit and a red tie. You taught me well, But the bad habbits are the ones that stay and dwell. It's not your fault but I'm still blaming you. I'm a mistake. The small skid on the side of the paper. The piece of dough that fell on the floor, stepped on by it's own cater. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, but I'm infested by worms and caterpillars, And I might like it, Because I'm independent and someone still wants me. Consulting myself because I'm all that I have, Masking my feelings because my psycologist laughed! I'm done asking because I'm all that I have, Don't tell me that you're there for me, just stop lying. I'm and unwanted **** and I'm tragically dying. I'm not a wilting rose, so there's nothing that you can say about me or boast. Just forget about me, I'm not all that you know. It's over, so let my memories go. I don't want you frowning or crying, This is how I am. I'm an unwanted **** And I'm tragically dying.

0

Nov 14, 2013

Nov 14, 2013 at 12:11 AM UTC

aag

Unwanted

I know I was never there to begin with, but will you still accept me into your heart? I know its messed up, and everyday I wish I took those seven steps needed to confront. You're all I ever wanted, but without the permanent affiliation. I just wanted you to call every now and then, Tell me that you're okay and you don't need the extra five or ten. I'm emptying out and keeping the lies on my lips. Inches away from you, holding tears back from my eyelids. I wonder what kind of life I'd have lived if I would've tapped your shoulder, Or what kind of regrets I'd have had if I would've pulled that trigger. That's all behind me, but I always end up facing the other way. But who's to say it's the wrong way? For all I know, this is the world telling me to end my day. But every time I open my eyes and wake up, You're still on my mind, but without the make up. You're scars are showing, And your tears are flowing. You're eyes are holding and you'll never understand how much you mean to me, theres no way of knowing! You cut to conclusions and split the wrist! I'm crazy just as much and you never ask me why I close my fists. We're not the same yet we're making the same mistakes. If I tried to end my life would you hold it onto me? Tell me it's against my religion and culture and never look at me? Without feeling ashamed, this life is so young but the time is so old, And I might be freezing but thats because I'm so cold. My heart is so overwhelmed and It's basically sold to the man in the black suit and a red tie. You taught me well, But the bad habbits are the ones that stay and dwell. It's not your fault but I'm still blaming you. I'm a mistake. The small skid on the side of the paper. The piece of dough that fell on the floor, stepped on by it's own cater. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree, but I'm infested by worms and caterpillars, And I might like it, Because I'm independent and someone still wants me. Consulting myself because I'm all that I have, Masking my feelings because my psycologist laughed! I'm done asking because I'm all that I have, Don't tell me that you're there for me, just stop lying. I'm and unwanted **** and I'm tragically dying. I'm not a wilting rose, so there's nothing that you can say about me or boast. Just forget about me, I'm not all that you know. It's over, so let my memories go. I don't want you frowning or crying, This is how I am. I'm an unwanted **** And I'm tragically dying.

46

To trust, Let people in, Relationships. That's what he said. That psycologist with Grey hair Thinning, Just like my relationships. Lonely, hating, loathing myself, Pain being controlled by addictions, Shame, My same shame increases the circles, Addictions, Running circles in my head-- Wanting to draw circles with a knife. STOP THINKING. My circles of friends growing smaller, Isolate as the weather becomes cold, My heart, iced, caged, No trust, no love. No one could love me anyway. Right? Wrong way thinking through this thick head Makes it worse. Wearing through my thin soul, This pain, pleasure? No. Run run away from this, Soles of my shoes thining, Just like the grey hair-- The psychologist's head. Trust, love, relationships. No shame in mistakes. Let people in? I always thought I never needed that.

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Oct 19, 2015

Oct 19, 2015 at 4:28 PM UTC

aeyajj

The Lecture

To trust, Let people in, Relationships. That's what he said. That psycologist with Grey hair Thinning, Just like my relationships. Lonely, hating, loathing myself, Pain being controlled by addictions, Shame, My same shame increases the circles, Addictions, Running circles in my head-- Wanting to draw circles with a knife. STOP THINKING. My circles of friends growing smaller, Isolate as the weather becomes cold, My heart, iced, caged, No trust, no love. No one could love me anyway. Right? Wrong way thinking through this thick head Makes it worse. Wearing through my thin soul, This pain, pleasure? No. Run run away from this, Soles of my shoes thining, Just like the grey hair-- The psychologist's head. Trust, love, relationships. No shame in mistakes. Let people in? I always thought I never needed that.

34

I once was a troubled teenager. I was the black sheep in my family, the rebel. During this time I thought about self-harm, suicide, running away, just finding a way to let it all out. It was then that I started to write, and I liked it. I don't know how to compose music, which is my first passion, so I thought I might as well write lyrics. Many times I thought a psycologist would help me, but in the end I decided I'd rather be the troubled, insane guy I now am. Trouble. Heartache. My own demons. These are the reasons of my art, and what would be of art without a reason? Without a meaning? Some may call me crazy. Some may call me stupid. Truth is I like being insane. Normal is the last thing I wanna be, because, to me, there's nothing interesting in normality.

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Jun 8, 2013

Jun 8, 2013 at 12:57 PM UTC

krusty-aranda

The Art of Insanity.

I once was a troubled teenager. I was the black sheep in my family, the rebel. During this time I thought about self-harm, suicide, running away, just finding a way to let it all out. It was then that I started to write, and I liked it. I don't know how to compose music, which is my first passion, so I thought I might as well write lyrics. Many times I thought a psycologist would help me, but in the end I decided I'd rather be the troubled, insane guy I now am. Trouble. Heartache. My own demons. These are the reasons of my art, and what would be of art without a reason? Without a meaning? Some may call me crazy. Some may call me stupid. Truth is I like being insane. Normal is the last thing I wanna be, because, to me, there's nothing interesting in normality.

23

Will I fall or will I fly .. I make my decisions with myself in mind Cross my heart and hope to die Fullfil my soul is whats in mind How old are you ? Is what the lady at the bar said to me As I argued with her about integrity Life and repeated history How old are you, she said to me Im 22, yea and I'm that aware and that blue. How old are you the lady at work said to me As I explained to her how decisions are merly destiny How people are repeatitions of what was done to them And how I shouldn't look like what they think I should look like to impress them Im 23 and it took a while to love myself I still don't like it sometimes, but I remind myself How old are you?? The psycologist said to me As I told him why and how my brain and emotions tangled up and untangled How I was merly dating to relay on someone for free and that it wasn't right for either him or me. I explained to him the exact reasons for anxiety And how I need control cause I was scared by chios in my family And how a panic attack can be cured mentally And how I don't want his pills cause I've seen what it has done to others and I have empathy I said I'm 23 I'm 23 And why does this scenario keep happening to me He said you're on the right path Aware and righteous Keep it up and you'll see But I wasn't any different and I still wasnt okay So how could you say that to me I dont know if I know better And that's why you're impressed But even if I did I dont think I do better And knowing is not a bliss Ignorance might be But I can't know that for sure Cause I can only truly experience life through me So will I fly or will I fall I dont know But I crossed my heart and promised myself to take control Cause no one has you but you And when you die what did you do for you ? So I'm sorry that I left you I'm sorry that I dont answer texts I'm sorry that I went out that night Even though I knew you were a mess I'm sorry that I wasn't truly there in you're last days Even though I knew you needed what you needed But I couldn't give. And now you're in heaven's bliss I make my decisions with myself in mind And I'm not here to impress I'm here to survive And I've learned from the best That no one has got you but you So do what you got to do Before it's too late.

0

Apr 28, 2018

Apr 28, 2018 at 2:15 PM UTC

lina-s

Before it's too late

Will I fall or will I fly .. I make my decisions with myself in mind Cross my heart and hope to die Fullfil my soul is whats in mind How old are you ? Is what the lady at the bar said to me As I argued with her about integrity Life and repeated history How old are you, she said to me Im 22, yea and I'm that aware and that blue. How old are you the lady at work said to me As I explained to her how decisions are merly destiny How people are repeatitions of what was done to them And how I shouldn't look like what they think I should look like to impress them Im 23 and it took a while to love myself I still don't like it sometimes, but I remind myself How old are you?? The psycologist said to me As I told him why and how my brain and emotions tangled up and untangled How I was merly dating to relay on someone for free and that it wasn't right for either him or me. I explained to him the exact reasons for anxiety And how I need control cause I was scared by chios in my family And how a panic attack can be cured mentally And how I don't want his pills cause I've seen what it has done to others and I have empathy I said I'm 23 I'm 23 And why does this scenario keep happening to me He said you're on the right path Aware and righteous Keep it up and you'll see But I wasn't any different and I still wasnt okay So how could you say that to me I dont know if I know better And that's why you're impressed But even if I did I dont think I do better And knowing is not a bliss Ignorance might be But I can't know that for sure Cause I can only truly experience life through me So will I fly or will I fall I dont know But I crossed my heart and promised myself to take control Cause no one has you but you And when you die what did you do for you ? So I'm sorry that I left you I'm sorry that I dont answer texts I'm sorry that I went out that night Even though I knew you were a mess I'm sorry that I wasn't truly there in you're last days Even though I knew you needed what you needed But I couldn't give. And now you're in heaven's bliss I make my decisions with myself in mind And I'm not here to impress I'm here to survive And I've learned from the best That no one has got you but you So do what you got to do Before it's too late.

59