The Portable Portaloo ***** Portal
On a distant campsite
One wild and starry night
I was suddenly overcome with nausea
From an unknown implausea
Fearing i'd met my Waterloo
I dashed off to the portaloo
But thankfully wasn't to ill
It was just a touch, of a touchy chill
But suddenly the portaloo spun
My curious journey had just begun
When opening the portaloo door
I couldn't believe the sights i saw
There were parrots all dressed up in drag
And a mouse, and an elephant having a ****
Giraffes with very small necks
And a wise old owl sending texts
A cat being released out of a bag
And a bull being chased by a red red rag
A skunk staggering around a little bit drunk
Spiders drinking tea with biscuits to dunk
I'd seen enough with nothing else to do
But to return to the safety of the portaloo
It spun again then turned upside down
I was glad i'd flushed as i tried not to drown
And within minutes or was it days or years?
I was back at the campsite, now gone were my fears
I returned to my tent, life is not always as it seems
As i closed my eyes, as i entered my dreams
More mysteries began to unfurl
As i entered another very curious world

by Jemia

Excuse me,  where is LionAir ?
Sorry,  wrong terminal.
But, to be fair,
It's not far.
Down the escalator
turn left
see the sign.
Up the elevator
turn right
You will be fine.
                  I    Was not !
No crossing the yellow line !
Excuse me,  ? LionAir ?
Sure, follow the footprints  on the gound
about 5 miles to walk about
you will be there in no time at all.
                    I  Was not !
The footprints  ended in a wall.
LionAir ? I ask,
Yeah, follow the guy in a yellow vest
he is heading there too.
               he    Was not !
The dude diverted to a Portaloo.
Where is the Lion ****** Air ?
Follow the crowd ?
Arrive en masse ?
                   Nope !
They got on the bus.

Oops, what's  this ?
LionAir !
No sign,  no footprints,  no line
But, I'm  finally there !


The name has been changed to protect the innocent.   Me.

then from the grimy floor
of the lavender fields' portaloo swells
an endless summer, and it creeps
up the blood orange walls;
each time i take a breath,
the plastic warbles like an underwater thing
we make little whooshes together  
it swells up and leaks out yellow

like i fear the girl's head will,
across the road,
all shaved and shiny like a soft boiled egg
fit to crack if the wrong car swerves
the wrong way...
anyway,
cancer?
at such a young age?

or the bees outside
springing up cushions,
decorative soaps, honey,
chocolate even out there from the earth
and i can't kick back and laugh
at how much they must be worth
because my god-

i'm scared of bees-

especially with the lavender
mingling with the sweat
in the soft part behind my knees
because what if they chose to stick there
and build empires from my flesh instead?

i'd be like that little girl;
as good as

anyway
sometimes my thighs conduct
like they're made of brass
and there's hail marys in the dust
tiny earthquakes caused by trucks
the tip of an ice cream cone
that isn't soggy

that's good enough

i stayed a little longer
than the trickle did

It's not a Banksy
it's a diversion sign
put there by the road crew
because that's what the road crew do.

Now what?
a portaloo at Waterloo
Napoleon on the throne
the Queen is in the stables
and Charlie's on the phone.

I miss the chicken shack
the giant in the beanie hat
the woodentops and postman pat,
I really miss that chit and chat
with the giant in the beanie hat
eating chicken in the chicken shack
not that much the woodentops or
postman pat
which surprises me no end.