"pmdd" poems
please, you have to understand,
this isn't me.
i am not my mood swings,
i am not my fear of talking on phones.
please, you have to understand,
this isn't me.
i am not my depressive episodes,
i am not my medications i must take.
please, you have to understand,
this isn't me.
i am not my fear of eating,
i am not my fear of being replaced or ignored.
understand, i am not my depression.
understand, i am not my anxiety.
understand, i am not my PMDD.
understand, i am not my BPD.
understand, i am not my eating disorder.
please, you have to understand,
this is me.
i am my love of cats,
and i am my admiration of everything musical.
please, you have to understand,
this is me.
i am a lover of stationery,
and i am a lover of every single living creature.
please, you have to understand,
this is me.
i am one who eats one too many brownies,
and i am one who cares for the entirety of the environment.
please, see past my mental disorder(s).
see the real me,
not just the chemistry in my brain.
please, see my lust for life.
see me beating stereotypes,
see me being me.
Nov 5, 2017
Nov 5, 2017 at 12:31 AM UTC
Sertraline (Zoloft) is used to treat depression, obsessive-compulsive disorder, panic disorder, anxiety disorders, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMDD).
Why do I feel more empty
when I am full of pills?
May 19, 2013
May 19, 2013 at 11:49 PM UTC
Black
Swirl of indigo
Specks of purple
And explosion of blue
A nebula of pain
Sensitive flesh
Angry red stars
Don’t step
On my line
Oct 21, 2013
Oct 21, 2013 at 11:42 PM UTC
The shoreline stares back at me—
Almost tasting it,
A distant, golden line lies ahead.
The tide is like a clenched fist,
Tightening around my ankles,
Dragging me down even further.
I tell myself I know this sea.
I have swum through it before,
Charted its depths,
I felt its pull, outlasted it.
But today, the water rises,
My chest feels the pressure.
Salt and silence fill my mouth,
Despite my kicks, the current grows stronger.
The waves swallow my screams.
Like a storm, PMDD surges—
No warning, no mercy.
My ribs tear,
Its voice floods my mind—
Why bother fighting it? Let go. Sink.
I claw at the water,
Not from strength,
But from fear—
This time, maybe I won’t make it.
Rage consumes me.
I rage that I can’t trust my own body,
That my mind betrays me,
Dragging me under,
While the world above remains calm.
Even as I sink, somewhere—
I feel it:
The part of me that will not drown.
She remembers the taste of sand,
The heat of sunlight was on her skin.
She will not let go.
Not now. Not ever.
The shore is still there,
Even if I can’t see it now.
I will rise to meet it.
My power is inevitable.
Jan 5, 2025
Jan 5, 2025 at 8:48 PM UTC