1.  Shoot *****
2. Ski
3. Free-dive
4. Sky-dive
5. Vote Republican
6. Eat raw fish
7. Play naked volleyball
8. Eat haggis
9. Walk on coals
10. Yodel
11. Visit Somalia
12. Jell-O shots
13. Learn Klingon
14. Fish
15. Sell *****-wigs
16. Drink Genesee Creme Ale
17. Run a 5K
18. Pay mortgage
19. Divorce
20. Shoot ******
21. Go to Tupperware party
22. Drink Gatorade
23. Visit Poughkeepsie
24. Tend bar
25. Serve on a ******* trial
26. Eat glass
27. ****
28. Trump rally
29. KKK rally
30. Watch Sally Fields in The Flying Nun
31. Attend a MegaChurch
32. Listen to Death Metal
33. Watch American Dad
34. Moonwalk
35. Eat brussel sprouts
36. Watch Fox News
37. Turn 20
38. Turn 30
39. Turn 40
40. Turn 50
41. Turn 60
42. Turn over in my grave
43. Eat a tern
44. Teach Fall term
45. Terminate a solemn vow
46. Take a vow of silence
47. Disavow core beliefs
48. Operate a snow plow
49. Forget that I do know how
50. Insinuate
51. Dissemble
52. Lie, cheat and/or steal
53. S'Mores
54. Wet my bed
55. **** my thumb
56. **** a duck
57. Watch Little House on the Prairie
58. Rent a yacht
59. Not rescue animals
60. Not neuter pets
61. Not give to Food for People
62. Not appreciate Public Radio
63. Not appreciate Public Television
64. Knot like a Boy Scout
65. Play Parcheesi
66. Pay credit interest
67. Feign interest
68. Pinterest
69. Instagram
70. Eat spam
71. Exam cram
72. Karaoke
73. Jet-ski
74. Snowmobile
75. Pretend what the ******* are going on and on about matters (whoops; that’s number 67)
76. Blame my parents
77. Not take responsibility for my choices
78. Invest in oil futures
79. Renege on promises
80. Waste my time listening to telemarketers
81. Waste my time listening to zealots
82. Waste my time listening to racists
83. Waste your time
84. Waste my time, I hope
85. Not seek truth
86. Not seek answers
87. Not be authentic
88. Not be xenophobic
89. Accept lies
90. March lockstep
91. Buy the latest and greatest
92. Be consumer extraordinaire
93. Not be present
94. Not be conscientious
95. Not be good to my fellow human beings
96. Consume too much
97. Waste too much
98. Boast too much
99. Post too much
100. Not think about consequences
101. Not be me

go ahead
take every
single game
piece from
its box
put them all
in a jar
and shake it

you'll see the
parcheesi men
dancing around
wooden words
forgotten kings
and queens

the bishops
praying for the
pewter hat
as the dog barks at
a red hotel and
plain checkers pieces
slide into partially
assembled pie wheels

watch closely as
the tiny
peg people
are separated from
the car holding their
family together.

and then decide
that what you had
wasn't good enough
not when there
are still some lost
and create tokens
out of buttons
bottlecaps
or whatever
you want

just remember
when the cards fall
from a tornado
we're all just losers
and when the dice
roll off the table
you can kiss the game
goodbye

unless of course
you're playing
all by yourself
which
while lonely
is actually
almost
advisable.

and i've
done it
enough times
to know.

standing in
a desert with
train tracks in
front of me
and
a train
endlessly
passes
with windows
facing me, and
doors facing
the oasis across
the tracks.

as if i was
meant to see
the passengers
playing Parcheesi
& preparing
to walk
the lush
green grass
and drink
icy cool
margaritas
where i
can't reach

- - -

i'm burning
in the heat
& my stomach
is churning
the sand
i swallowed
down my
sandpaper throat.

i missed
a train that
everyone i
know
has boarded
& i can't
get on a train
that won't
stop.

i don't know
why i didn't
buy a ticket
i never
knew about.

and now,
it's too
late.

how did
everyone else
know
to stand
in line?

why am i
the only one
who isn't
on this train?

i want
to join
them.

praying for
a reprieve.

how i long
for the
cool scented breeze
under the
tall palm trees
where they are.

Horace went to the market
Horace stared
spoke, great time time again
we are waiting for that idea
spun along like a special Parcheesi deluxe edition board
you know what I like so lend me your board game
resist like a spoon and bend when the time is right
Don't judge me

cast out and stuck in like butter and salt mixture whoops I meant sugar
can it and bleed out we never cared
lying sack of potato seed doesn't bother to drop the logic
self-mutilation is my favorite type of joke
mustard will obviously not mind when we rip him around a bit ourselves
wait for it

don't needle yourself a pining hole
why bother when you have a negligent company that wants to forfeit its bills for lackluster groans
these ****** bore you
shouldn't they?

Keep a heavy hand when you hit your child
don't back down he deserves to be taught
speak in tongues when you tell him off
don't back down he knows well the lesson learned

ancient wisdom dictates idiocy on a regularly biased concern
you know very much for such a small god
I'd like to take you to lunch and bury your head in sand and malice

watch closely brother
you know how to spin the pine cone around on its head if need be
spelling bees and removing letters don't always mix
fabulous, right on, don't get me started, get back to the beginning

you know how to progress
it's like an old-fashioned butter knife
slice with fury and you'll taste like an antelope
grab it by my horns take it for two turnips and an orange berry

overall it's more of a begging session
I appreciate it if you would
I'm not exactly sure how
go ahead and mark your territory if you must
it's not so impressive
threats are dead if you love too much

let's move about the cabin and find some gems
we'll take them home. Just ditch the airplane.