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Ken Pepiton Feb 2019
every emotion has its shadow enrolled
in an ad on the six o'clock news

Science of virility, once
quackery, now proven,
Rhinohorn substitutes and such,

mere hints of unspoken rites in clawfoot tubs
at sunset.

Relieving, reliving
recall the pain

products pitched at every pain.

A pill, a plan for any pain,

for each

and ever y
dis comfort or dread.

Oft fear's the trigger
symptom,
fear of one name or another;
we gotta pill
f'that, phobiabout it.

tell y'pusher y'got it, step by step,
somnambulism. Doctor, Doctor

Am bein' sorta vague, y' see, a need
how to', tuts t'see

Doc say, on TV, 'tween the lines,
pull
PTSD , he say,
we can all do that now,
better 'n carpal tunnel in the eighties

Hey, opi-oid whistlin, fishin, re
min-iscing

Back in the day, we wusht f' nut'in' t'do,

now, me 'n' them voices in m' head,

do nuthin', ala time, jest watch.

Meditate, cogitate, take thought, fret not,
nothin' t'do but wait. Seeds gotta grow.

Snow is melting in patient drips, the theory
is that water's where idle words wait,
and as the axis ice recedes,

those idle words return to the cycle and
rain phrases worthy of heed, in theory,
the secrets frozen since God knows when.

Cognitive troubling knowns
have been loosed, to flow, and shift to
spirit once mormorphing back to
fluidity on a speck o'the highest dust of the earth,

growing an anti-bubble, a water balloon
rain drop,
remembering everything. Imagine that.

Water remembers everything. I heard. Somewhere.
That's another the or y.
Ys are odd alone.

There are thoughts not even mathmaticians
think they can know,
within mortal realitification
as mortal minded men imagining
times and time and half a time mean anything constant,
any fixed weight worth, wor-th,

methinks we know less of worth than those who sell.

Don'cha hate a false balance?
what scale, Libre, eh, Claws of Scorpio, y'know,

how many words to or from God does it take to
tip the scale of

Just is?

What ruler is here that
we might use right, to measure
what'samatter?

Is life broken? Is ignorance killing truth?
Is there no way where there seems no way?
Who wants to know?

Trow ye not,
We could do better, we could
pay. We sapiens aspiens augmentatious
could
buy the golden
rule,
tried in fire, drossless,
at our own expense, in a sense.

We can stand up under knowing good and evil,
inside out, leaning into good as good can be,
living edge-wise balanced. Being
confident, doubleminded, sapient sapient augmentedus being,
paying life attention
for all we are worth. Okeh. That's all I had to say.
Frustration post situation confronting a cult leader teaching the tricks of the trade.
Liars teach proven theories for believing anything you can. I think such lies may be un believed. Unbelievable, means you can un believe.
Megan Pantaleon Jan 2017
Farewell, I speak, my love
As I've accepted that we aren't good enough
Reasons to leave are what we saw
Even back then, I had a glimpse of our flaw
Wherever I am, my mind speaks of you
End sooner, I whispered, as the wind blew
Lies that have made still gives me ache
Let the tears dry, there's no more to make

May the memories we've shared stay
You and I would sooner be okay

Listen to my heartbeat for the last time
Only this can shout your name's rhyme
Void of, we should, we must
E**ven the times we only had lust
here's me saying goodbye
Mateuš Conrad Jul 2018
/                                   donald trump is here?!
   on these splendid, splendid isles?!
                                      really?
  where was the past week?

good thing that i bought
that johnnie walker red label
especially for the occassion -

    without actually knowing it was
to take place...

    i guess you might call
watching protests on t.v.
       a bit like:
                going to an illegal rave
party in an abandoned
                               industrial building
somewhere in
       dagenham, or shoreditch,
                            or 'ackney...

britain is not getting what it already
wants -
                       i can understand blatant
flattery, and airs, monsieur,
             monsieur bleu, rouge et blanc...

the one time that britain looks...
bedazzled?!
                               frizzy haired...
the sort of comic sketch
of a **** scene where the man wakes
up having sobbed himself
to sleep, in a disney cartoonish
way expressing frightened awe
and the words:

     [what] the **** just happened?

   'ave a tongue for a ****, mate.

- honest to god though:
   where have i been for the past week?!
i've paid attention to the football -

croissants, or, chequers?!
  hmm...
                   oi! two face, what's
your gamblers' pundit?
                    
                         - let the slavic sub-plot
'ave it,
              if goran (ivanišević)
     could do it, this ******* litter can do it,
given they reached the semi-finals
in 1998...
          
                      and believe me:
   some people...
                    are really jealous of the chessboard
representation on fabric, shh...


or at least that's what i whispered
into the ear of lucifer,
        hermitage's secondary
    (only to achilles)
                       schwarz, mouse-catcher;

and if i'm wrong -
     then i'm wrong:
     but since i don't actually gamble using
money...
      i tap into the emotional
excitment of gambling -
   within the confines of expectation
of being right...

               somehow, gambling,
       but where what i bet with is... zeit...
and grooving to boris brejcha,
tantra of a DJ set...
                   **** me via my ears
and call me Sally...
                              
                         ­     nod nod nod...
(ten minutes later):
   nod nod nod...
          (15 minutes later):
   nod nod nod (with an added
drumkit imitation of the whole
body starting to form a scary shadow
of a man sitting down

before a blank pixel screen
   seeing letters and words appear
like a god might
see stars, and constellations appear
in the dark, dark: voooooooooo
                      'oid)

  which is no proof that i made
a hiccup.                                                          /
I am
What I
Am, but
I don't
Always
Want to
Be me.
Even
When I
Know I
Should be
True to
What I
Know is
Me, I
Still find
A way
To av-
-oid be-
-ing me.
In the
Simple
Hope that
Perhaps
Being
Someone
Else will
Make it
Easi-
-er to
Cope with
For me
And ev-
-ryone
Else who
Knows me.
Or rath-
-er knows
The per-
-son they
Call me.
David R Apr 2021
E ndless wisdom of no bounds
H ewed space, no light, no sound
Y ielded self yet self surrounds
H eart pulsating life abound

Y ou see the end in the beginning
H iding death in the living
V oid shapen through Your giving
H ome to Heaven through forgiving

A ir and fire, water, earth,
D eath 'n life, endless rebirth,
N ature nurturing name of worth
Y earns in You to find safe berth
BLT's Merriam-Webster Word of The Day Challenge
#hew
LETITFXRING Jan 2015
Letting you in
Once more would create this
Void, &
Everything you said I fell for,
Don't ever think I'm  weak  because I became  strong
I once Loved so hard
I became so Strong
Gavin Oliver Feb 2020
Cold am I , waiting for eons to feel the warmth of a woman.

Oid am I , the night brings release from torment which will not cease.

I race with the dark ones, my undead flesh numb to the feeling of love.

Eternal vigil I endure from beyond death. None but the night weep for me.

Dammed never to walk in sunshine, shed no tears for me.

I died a thousand years ago but now reborn into darkness.

The beauty I seek I cannot have, to take her I rise from this stagnant grave.

A moment of pleasure in an eternity of pain, to join ,to kiss, to feed.

In the dead of night I come. Nocturnal seduction ,carnal, primal.

The taste of your blood. Oh such sweetness! Gently I bite , softly you moan.

One sip of blood and I own your soul. Come my Queen take my hand

In the embrace of lovers beneath the blackest night.
Mateuš Conrad Jul 2020
not that i'm in any way anti-h'americana...
but...
       the later dictates spawned from
the louisiana purchase...
expansion... the purchase of alaska...
          i'm such a colt when it comes to
the history...
                  invitations into "demands"...
if there is such an inconvenience
of nations in the form of globalism...
why is it somehow "strange" for nations
to adopt bilingualism: schizoid-oid...
              the benelux bubble...
the scandinavian repertoire...
                            there's so much supposedly
happening when people are not
sentenced to the queue for bread and...
vinegar...
            for the circus: "they" wait...
                       but it's such a welcome...
mind-relapse into palm-tree hovering:
coconut: eurekas and concusions...
   take a breather...
               take a breather...
when h'america takes a breather and...
it revolves around an introspective
commentary session...
and no new "propaganda" is heard of...
           periodical drama of "recuperation"...
i lost the plot at...
designed in california... albeit: manufactured
in china...
                    older than the russian
ploy of the lost memory of the 20th century...
how ****** i am having
to play catch-up with the 14 years
i was given being born in 1986...
          i missed no sense of replicating
a revenue of revival...
                                     the world curated
by h'america is taking a breather...
       pushing blanks... and self-addressed letters
with stamps... but no envelopes...
"somehow" and "suddenly"...
the concept of envelope has become
detached...
4th of july and i'm looking toward
going to the new zoo...
the new zoo of loon'don...
      al fresco museums of graveyard statues
was once my affair: primo...
             now i'll head to the crux...
looking at... window shopping for mannequins...
i'm hoping to pick up cues for ref.
of how... one is... best behaved...
               the prior Karen and Cain tsunami
of... children are not given...
this sort of freedom pass of tantrums...
   i'm just curious... deep-space adventures
are a microcosm...
   no postcards from saturn...
i'd much prefer the naked-eye experience...
   "however" and "however"...
h'america is taking a breather...
  no... cultural export necessary...
                        slack boyo on the music front...
why is... the idea of h'america being
a bilingual nation-hood...
rather than a nationality... so "foreign"...
               if globalism is to somehow work...
it was somehow tested in england...
the added bonus of speaking french...
perhaps speaking german was more...
beneficial...
                     spare parts of...
               this mono-lingual spear... perhaps works...
when... and not when...
a venice bicycle club...
            i've been to venice:
         i should have visisted rome....
              hell... i should have visited... Naples...
Florence on my radar...
     venice... ugh...    sinking ship
spectacular...
                  but it's oh so amazing
when... h'america implodes and has to sober
up... and look at itself...
           russia could never do that sort:
play that sort of importance...
the size of Crimea and Maine / New England...
half-bred Mongols of the Kazakh region...
schlang whipped serenity...
the antithesis of saint as pope when...
having to... manoeuvre the troops from
a presence in europe from germany to:
king john: lackland... ****** loan...

                 strange transition...
          i don't exactly want to think...
beside: raz dwa trzy... cztery... pięć: pięść...
why is it so alien for h'america to not be...
a bilingual nation?
          there was always some variation
of the lingua franca...
     there was a languae of commerce...
oh... the natives... and the "natives"...
boring bride of...
what could be...
the language that has to be...
original: rooted... it cannot be sacrificed
on the altar of commerce...
it has to be... pure... north eastern...
welcome those honk hong conqs...
                  these shores these albion:
scrutiny ****-ups...
          
    h'america could be a bilingual nation...
belgium can... norway... sweden can...
denmark can...
              holland can...
           canada pretends: quebec...
                        the french will always...
try to... make the english tongue:
more oyster-esque edible than...
spoken...
                       i'm not going to oink
a positive or oink a negative...
when the disagreement is so old...
            
             h'america could be a bilingual nation...
the same schizoid belgium...
holland... sweden imitation...
                        hardly an impediment...
a worthy addition...
but no... that's impossible...
this is how the globalisation project fails...

i'm almost content with a period of taking
a deep-breath... having h'america ****-strapped
into self-introspection implosive carnage...
it's just a period of curiosity...
                       when h'america had to implode
and... hardly... export: culturally...
               that worded bargain: promise...
no... the words from america are sold
for... the deaf and vultures of grand-standing
pseudo-moralists...

     i can't relate with the people who shipped
off a man... a neil armstrong...
to **** hans christian andersen on the moon...
for all of h'america: the fly-over states...
hyper-inflated parody of siberia:
i.e. where you could buy some land...
and... actually live on it...

                  and want to...
                                    the ol' mcdonald... queer...
sort of 'appy...
no... from outside my window...
the late night buses are usually filled
by a count of a one or three cameos...
that they're... rolling past... empty...
    
                see... writing is fun...
  when everyone around you is busy with life...
living a Norman's norm...
                    busy to joke about your:
"indispositions"... etc.
              writing is fun when praying for the shade
of the obscured life... line...
tow...
                    it's fun when...
people have their lives intact...
and you're... "fishing" for outliers of your own....
assorted calibre...
              there was less panic...
when... meningitis had its furore...
we still went to school...
   i remember having a vaccination jab in school...
this is a most terrible lie...
this is a lazy lie...
                    this is the most terrible: lazy lie...
the truth of complacency and...
comfort in sediment... the living fossils...

meningitis sowed less panic...
when it had its furore!
                       we still went to school...
                  i'm beside interested in the "plan"...
if anything could wake me up from
being disappointed: asinine...
                              is... a theatre of the guillotine!
nothing else...
****** plans: oh... grand:
so much more... forward moving...
revisionism for... the project... self-picked cabbage...
the self-picked strawberries?!
n'ah... whatever...
     i'm about to entertain myself with some
whiskey and finding a googlewhack.
Mateuš Conrad Jun 2020
ever since i've quit smoking: beside those two
self-congratulatory puffs at the end of
each day...
                    more and more people are smoking...
in movies...
        they look so... content with
the stampede of the locomotive breath...
                interludes into 5 minute incissions
of absolutely dis-satisfaction...

                    4th of july... some variation
of independence day...
                      i'm planning to visit Loon'don...
for a sport of: zoology...
                i'll take a hubris and hiatus magic
pouch of liqour with me...
expecting: riots...
                  
        peacocks and pistachios...
            porcupines and pomegranates...
molotov cocktails and bagpies...
               i just want to see... oxford circus
yawn... i want to take the scenic route
of a promenade upon stepping off
the tube...
        perform the dull task...
of... window-shopping for mannequin
in restaurants...

    oh god... i'll have to trim my beard...
dissolve some sugar in water
and put it in my hair so: stick-ing anti-wind
gravitas...
             i'll walk this mistanthrope
on a leash of good riddles...
            i'll play the part of someone from
norwich...
    not someone from romford...
              Loon'don the tease from
Mashiter's Hill...
              plain as day: the sky-line in
my hungry eyes...
  almost towing a cow:
                  
         and of course i want to be seen...
how otherwise not so settle the matters
of sensibility...
of this ******-fest of: the obeying conundrum...
4 dada suicides: published by atlas press
in an edition of 1000 copies...
2005...
         what a fraction i do own....

        arthur cravan among the four...
the nephew or... some variant of...
related to... oscar wilde...
                 yes... the physiognomy
are a steal... in terms of what's resembled...

  i trip down: don't tempt me... memory
lane...
   world was I: and the war...
   the dada movement in Zurich....
   cabaret voltaire...
                        Geneva? well...
fast paced betting...
          live and try to not get rich...
something to get by... working for...
a loitering wage...
if you gave me... 2 tonnes of soil...
a tonne of gravel... and said...
3 hours...
                 fair-*******-afro-frenzy
    and enough...
         but "work" as a loitering...
                     what "lockdown"?
the neighbour finally put up a fence
after 15 years of her being implored...
the old roots and stumps had to be dug
up... all the way from
late february...
     a new shed... 13sqm of wimbledon
turf to admire and water...
                       i have to forbid myself
joy... though... in telling my maternal
grandfather: i've quit smoking...
    before he dies: and i pretend to wish
to grow old: i hope this happens...
this... carrier pigeon message is passed...

only today the bewildering... sacrilege...
i was watching: corpus christi...
2019... point being...
it was in my native tongue...
with english subtitles...
         i can't pretend...
   i was more eager to read the subtitles
than to listen to the "mother"
and the "father"...
      sure as hell and that they will die...
this language will die in the vicinity...
then within me...
who am i going to speak it to...
i can imagine... "30 years of and tomorrow"...
and i'll speak it:
zapomniejać mówienie po polsku...

russian interlude i'd call them...
i'll most certainly not me...
a lithuanian ****** miłoš....
              i have to arrive at the prospect...
i am not really arriving at
a country left... or a country arrived at...
"nation": ah ha!
                     siamese twin horror:
bilingual freaks...
             i was always told to shy
away from the concept of a diaspora...
unlike... the jew the italian...
the russian oligarchy...
                      and english...
what... i... made... of... it...

neu-concept...
              i... a pronoun category word...
some obnoxious... reflexive-reflective
quadratic of anti-narcissus...
i: a pronoun... perhaps...
but i as... king george minded...
i: verb!

                          i will take: will i?
i like the idea of the 4th of july...
the tokyo olympics...
that one event in the sport calendar...
when... i don't feel infringed...
with a body capacity to...
perform... a palé - i do have a body...
for greek wrestling...
antithesis judo...
but sure as **** a plethora of body shapes...
ping-pong table assured...
click-bait... without a tennis racket...
and that's why...
squash would have been a good
choice to join the olympic racket...
olympiaco(s) raquettes...

   lofty body builders... ant-worshipping...
not relevant though...
sprint a 100m...
climb 100m...
    clearly toned equilibrium bodies...
bouldering and baseball...
no squash...
     tennis is hardly an olympic
sport...
           it's a money sport...
it's a riviera elton john slim jr.
sort of sport...
football? it's a money sport...
rugby? it's a ******* sort of sport...
football is about as much
an olympic sport as...
a curse of a sneeze...
the only reason why brazil
staged the sporting affair was...
because they lost the world cup...
blah blah...

       squash should be an olympic
sport... why it isn't...
and forest ******* gump
can have his... ping(o)-pong(o)
   berlusconi parties: minus... tony blaire...
is all the reason to note...

hmm... blaire... white... that tehran
trans whizz kid...
   i see... no... no... absolutely...
not similarities... within the confines...
of... "a borrowed shadow" of...
   eva longoria...

i had the same plans for halloween...
the same plans for prague...
prague i can forgive myself...
mother has a hip-replacement...
and i'm all up-and-arms: ******...
like the good boy scout
buffalo billy-oh / geiny boy!

                to suffer from a lack of ****...
is not... to find jokes in language:
when one still has... itchy finger-tips...
"suffer"... and "lack of ****"...
best resolve... no clingy p.s.
             no... cuckoldry...
    the fabled ex-girlfriend of mine...
ex-....
   ****... how old am i? 34...
an ex- from... ah... ha ha... when i was 21...
prostitutes... a thai surprise...
and a black girl done at random
when i hosted my own birthday party...
with an art of an *** so tight...
i received a plum tattoo above...
where her coccyx decided to toy with
the... "art of mechnical reproduction"...

walter... "waterboy"... benjamin?
herowitz? i too had a really ****** surname...
like... ******... like stalin...
catholic ploy... take the best of the three given...
we also reserve an option of a fourth
when you... decide to... become...
confirmed... lucky for some atheists:
who have been... unlucky for me...

of the people that stayed...
    of the people that left...
             unlucky for me...
   those that left: didn't "leave"...
the australians...
            left and "left" and it's not like...
they came back speaking
total ******* cockney...

       it's not that i'm even confused...
"overwhelmed" with emotions...
that reveal themselves...
to have to be... perpetually... displaced...
post-modernist...
quack for doctor...
quasi for marxist astute!

                my ideal ex... rich girl...
one spare apartment in st. petersburg...
riches in novosibirsk...
      educated in england...
   look at me... i ****** a rich ****...
a prop'ah... rich ****...
a russian rich ****...
   not old english sloth dough...
not a reperations **** of worship
that choc-a-bloc-of-sowwy...
  a real... oyster binding with teeth
sort of libido... well! ha! lucky me!
for a ******! she's not a mongrel 2nd
class citizen of the turnip and tulip
and...
   beg R'ah-R'ah-Rhapso-silly-Pullin'-Tin!

you know... i can remember
the love at first sights in my life...
she... Ilona... i experienced in reverse...
two girls were trying to fry some
pancakes...
she hook and sinkered my iPod...
while i refined the idea of pancakes...
she looked like...
something the ugly duckling
would bully at... duck school...
filled her gob... smart...

        yeah yeah...
but i do remember all the times
i experienced love at  first sight...
and their names...
the best horror movie i would ever land
in being a critique for...

1. Milena...
                          2. Kot...
      i can't remember her name...
that's her surnane... she had...
                   two younger sisters... twins...
3. samantha... st. augustine's primary school...
4. janina (canon palmer... an ugly affair...
    i hoped i made reperations to...
joining art class and giving her a rose)
    5. gemma la porte...
  6. emma... a big... ******* sensation...
  7. let's just call her Sancha...
  irish girl... two years older than me...
still in highschool...
8. Isabella... the french psychology student...
and god begot: a loss of virginity...
   9. priya...
     who's the 6 / 7...
             the sister of my first girlfriend...
which would make... a 18 year old...
a pedohpile with a... 15? year old...
                      10. predates 4...
cameron diaz in the mask...
    11. is a cameflouge of Ilona...
my love at first sight in reverse...
if i stayed long enough...
i would have ***** myself to oogle
my eyes out and **** her like
some aria giovanni clone...
                big siberian nose...
her myopia and being plasyfully teasing
"short"...
yes yes... beside that... massive plum
bullseye...
        we must call that:
                wetted ****: seconds...
  
see... i have this cinema in my mind...
of first loves... loves at first sights...
more thirsts rather than thrills...
and... then i want to see Loon'don...
in zoological modus operandi...
i want to see...
    window-shopping for mannequins
of... sylvia plath borderline psychotic
shoelaces of soul...

         i want to shop for...
the agony confined to... raised eyebrows
and the confines of... all things made
easily extreme bound to ****** expression...
having to... self-lacerate...
before the pro-social cordial...
i want to see the future martians...
misantrophes... like-oid mois...

i can honestly be trusted with "love"...
call it the muse....
first sighting...
her moles her first trickled...
lob of the forgotten kiss...
the whirlwind thorough lintany...
her lapse in a guarantee of
ear lobes...
    like my... "shy"...
                  occipital lobe....
investigated by janina...
                                
                           that little light in a tunnel...
a summer in masovia... or mongolia...
or.. whatever is called...
crisp... and doughnut...
idaho... jeffrey: jeff'ohs "napoleon dynamite"...
    dahmer...
                                 mon'ghouls:
the goos of the freely rejected...
cousin Sib is no mal. and frying up
with word-blob Sah...
          -eria              contra...
bloat-zilla...                -ara...
                               death-stow genius no-no...
trans-nanny has an eastender melt-meow-down...
the opera goes: fly-be-fwee:
lucky luke and the fervour
of the force for a complete...
****-lawd comeback town: towwie...
gripping basics...
                       king jefffers...
and jaffa... and khalidha...
     and lay-tea-cia... milkin' dozens...
**** ****...
      ******* whapping 'inge...
                 cwy: rhapsody... remembers
to trill that Sysiphus... and -esque...
              
        ***** and blahs the world over
for...  solidarity of...
compensated vitriol...
       jeff is an ugly u(n)(c)kle...
jeff is a ****** loon:
serenity... theme park expactation
project: alpha 50.9...
     he's an an FM in frequence...
and best listened to:
when "reading was a thing":
typo... of digest...
a **** queen and ***** quag...

             calofornian subtitles...
ever since...
   ever since... a petty Hague and Hue...
european conquest of time...
and something akin to
h'america... and its louisiana purchase:
ratio no. 2!
fly-over **** Iowa...

  it's not like... croatia was...
the Balkans was such a small: and ditto:
afffair of... inbreeding folks...
lord: lowd and...
spandex 1980s Berlin to...
give revenue in all things
that catered in retaining...
a loathing of... pertained to...
CWISP...
                    trill the R who?
the french hark it...
the english... larp...
woebot... for every robot...
they... tarantulla tongue numb
that...

                 whyming...
RHYME-B'OH...
            ******* kings and queens...
it's the "united states":
having to annex the forntiers...
the annex
on conquistador...
velcommen mingling xo xo xo...

the "encrypted" sexuality
of a the concept of female hands...
misguided by the proportions...
best hid in a niqab...
but when exposed: pork meets...
buffalo-slingers...
no... arab / camel jockey hands...
are not beijing...
or ***... porcelein hands...
you could... **** a ******* camel neck...
and i am: the beck unfucked cockrel
you best wish: yawn-yacht...
you never never...
ever... called a forking...

   arab women have these fat
hands that black women...
would require... 12" of envy
a white anorexic would require of them...
to muster...
a blasphemy and... a kenyan litany...
some of that sort...
all i know...
jesus be all big with...
                   post-apocalyptic
protestantism in post-colonial...
"oops" of the 21st century...
          forgive i.e. tow what?

               how about...
i allow my grandfather a death
by demetia...
               and then i wait...
i wait for nothing...
or i wait for: "history"...
no... sooner i wait for...
the brothel... than this bollocking waste
of time of... frank zappa is...
burning up like...
            a heretic...
                    within...
a 1m sq. of a proximity to mecca!

how fortunate: the man with... none...
              how fortunate...
             the grievance of a man with so much...
to have to... find...
poker-dole... facing...
a man with the queen's penny...
i am a man worth of a queen's penny...
does that even become know...
respected...
for all the money grieved into
making up...
the honoruable citizens' tax invested:
"quest"...
i am... its last...
           radical... and...
                                     royalist...
i have to come...
with a parade of worded -ings
and thinning paroles!

                         this birth of a new:
a nation of fat-whips and bores!
              let me become inclined to leisure...
for the lost revelation of
a tenure of fiction!

what was "once" a female...
has "become" the homosexual...
what was "once"... the mother in law...
has now "become": the bridget...
and nuance shellshock...
               fraserburgh... kid-joy... ****...
an ode to: joe... the...
                       ben nevis and bon jovi
of... the... "nuanced"...
and...                 "pioneers":
all best reserved...
   for the alaskan and the louisina purchase...
and...
the lost told tide of...
the spaniards: arms...
goths... north africa...
reconquista...
conquistadors...
sooth talking some mayans
and aztecs into: "in-breeding"...
        miriad... moors...
gives us a tan... us... whitey loop holes...
  tanning with a mongrel
cocktail a mongol...
typo... tan ****-up tao...
tanning with tao...
tow tufu **** what?!
       beijing fwend a fwied deifying
pig loco?
vibes... first locomotive **** promo...
last fist comes first and thirst...
no... samuel beckett's sore...
so... sore n'oh m'aw...
   savvy... you... *******... gooseberry
savoured prim nancy?!
Mateuš Conrad Oct 2020
now i just look at words:

          i sometimes want:
to describe what the tongue doesn't
need to prompt or cue -

mostly thanks for e. e. cummings...

it's so necessary to find this
metaphysical tongue
in my brain -
how it's a mundane thought:
nothing at all worth
morally questioning -

loitering in a status quo...
or -
        beginning a sentence
with a conjunction:
rather focusing on conjunctions
bilingually...

an hour prior i would really
focus on etymology and
nouns in bilingualism -

something prophetic had to
be excavated from argentina...
it's not like i don't like new
music... it's that there's so much
of it: listening alone
to it is unlike sharing it...

         notably IAH - III...

to: this
tamto: that
tam: there
           w - in
o - about
            even if english allows
i - ja
              or a - the indefinite article...
z - with...
          
what am i with my born
with tongue that...
unlike those who arrived
on these shores as *****...
in the loving embrace...
that they were born
in england...

              some made-up
propensity to teach
others from a native foundation:
because... the bilingual
is somehow less?

spew me canon fire of words...
mesmerize me!
no: clear vantage point for
exploitation...

a long winding crescendo...
a labour under the gravity of using
wings...
a completed dialectical question...
which never allows
a rhetorical answer...
as plato noted:
a mere yes or no...
for the inquirer is asking
a question to further his rhetorical
pursuit of inquiry...

classics... i should read up on
some Aeschylus...
i can't imagine south america
as an extension of spain...
i guess the conquistadors
really did **** with
the aztec and the mayan women...
i find south america as
unique...
devoid of spain's influence...
language alone is not enough...
spanish was never going
to be an undermined language...
it was never to be subverted
by either german or russian...

but this english litany:
how the new continent is still
having to mind inheritance...
how the inheritance "tax" is so...
suffocating and strait-jacket esque...
i can clearly see
argentina for argentina...
is hardly a whole lot to do with
spain being dragged into europe...
into the funnel...

    celt and prior
romans and prior...
  oh no... this is not a history lesson...
then the germans
then the slavs
then the huns the mongols the turks
the... turkmen etc.
this little crevice of land...
this sort of in between
of continental pride:
a place to build a ship and...
******* to new a greater pasture...
to adventure...
to a small island in the pacific...

i never have to think of brazil
as an extension
of portugal...
   even though their language is
so: base... same...
or mingle with argentina a spain...
but in the anglophonic realm...
tightly-knit community
of: 'just across the pond'...
pond: d'uh... the atlantic...

       you can't call it an english
or a spanish diaspora -
                  hardly...
                 i try to think back
and relate to my fellow language
proficiency exemplars...
what chains bind me:
that i am prior to self-first selfish...
my own owning my ownership...
before i am cannibalised
by a national identity...

            it must seem rather strange
to explore these avenues in this tongue...
cry! schizoid! tremors!
blah blah...
                 that i do find immovable
"pawns" in england...
people who will not... dare thread
crossing barriers with exception
to holidaying on some greek island
or... spain... of all places...
they are so intrinsically adamant
in not splitting their mind
with kneading the dough-for-a-tongue
of a second language...
well... i call them immovable "pawns"
rather than n.p.cs...
        
perhaps i would write in my native
zunge - perhaps i'd tease at some germanic:
alt vater albion to boot...
or scribble some cyrillic -
but then: who has that sort of keyboard
and this narrative is begging
for a fluency of time shortened...

         english has no diacritical marks
that i know... which allows speeding
up the process...
if i were to fiddle and playdough with
diacritical markers:
which venture in their idiosyncratic meaning:
stand-alone...
i would...
the english must have thought
they were the afghans of the ancient
world... that they would somehow
inherit latin without...

a german esses und zeds...
    or a french cedilla...
                        or an iberian ninyo...
                             ~ on top of an n...
they had to determine themselves as...
the failure of previous empires
was... their landlocked ergonomic of
spreading...
lend us the greek concept
of free-city-states!
let us use the seas!
the sun will never set!
insomnia barons and pauper maddened
toy kings...

it's  not like the intricacies
of two towing tonnes os tongue is
in anyway unbearble:

w tym - in this
  
but i find it's unnecessary to merely
focus on the disparagement of nouns...
i find red a bogus...
immediately constructed
into plural / masculine / the feminine...
it's never red alone...

czerń is black...
it's almost a verb when being presented
with red...
na czerwono: on red...
czerwony - red (masculine)
czerwona - red (feminine)...
czerwone  - red (feminine plural)
czerwoni - red (masculine plural)...

chechen renegades of post thunk -
the armenians reading into
an ottoman less lightly...

   look here: my prosthetic limb

red is an impasse in my native tongue...
it's like this anglophone
focus on "gender neutral" pronouns...
i can't seem to find...
a red is red...

or what's: back into english...
i read (once upon a time)
coupled with: i read (currently doing)...
there's... red and there's a reed...

what czerń allows is:
czarna, czarny... czarni, czarne...

czerwienić się: to blush...
but the colour red doesn't stand alone
to stress itself without
a "dismabigutation"
when loan grammatical tools
come to the fore...
and implore the "loss od detail"...

for this only one man
has to know two tongues...
and for that i am metaphorically schizoid...
sK-oid... voiding further
the sofa-esque mentality of people:
how i admire those people
with a knowledge of only one tongue...
or two or polyglot with
not dare reminder of
intricacies:
how they arrived at language
proficiency where everything is
either leftover or works just fine:
it's all reflexive and nothing... is ever auld
or odd...

ah... but...
czerwień is an adjective - an allusion to red...
from the burdens of a synonym cloud -
what was once: a bold
introspection... has become an alluded to...
a loan... a gimmick
a burgundy is a hue of red...
a deviation... how it teases
purple...
                 it's a quality... "esque"...
this native tongue of mine...
well... it can't escape gendering certain
words...

white is gender inclusive...
          all the colours are!
                  one has to find onself
a gangrene riddled dog barking up
the wrong tree...
when the anglophone debate over
gender neutral pronouns comes
to the fore:
this here the tornado:
i here, the butterfly...

           biały... biała...
"concern" for things...
well... you wouldn't say: biały rzecz (white thing)
you'd say biała rzecz

i imagine the birth of the concept of:
NOTHING to imply...
i have exhausted a desire for
etymology, for nouns...
for calling things concretely like
some geologists or chemist...
i'm here, socrates... borrowed for
glue and chewing gum and
the leftovers of conversation...

i.e. "thing" is the precursor generic
noun... nothing = nonoun...
something new... pronoun aside...
nothing for me implores:
gesticulating at nonoun -
Kant almost saw this coming
with his noumenon...

to talk without having to implore oneself
the details of seeing a feline marker...
because: that's what we already
do! a cat is a cat is not necessarily
a maine ****... or a siamese!
a dog is a dog isn't necessaarily
a cocker spaniel of a german shepherd!

a tree is a tree isn't necessarily an oak
or an acorn!
this cognitive construct could
only have been invented by the faculty
of memory: how best to filter,
throw a cipher into a bowl of
borrowing deciphers...
memory this formerly grand
cameo cinema that had to become
a fickle ontology... destined for a per se...

yet how i strain myself to
keep it on a leash...
after the acid bath of pedagogy and...
drilling into me the arithmetic of 2 + 2 = 4...
how i "wake"...
that i spell these words with
such adamancy...
is because i want to: i desire for them
to be strictly bound...
i could sooner slash my wrists than
allow myself to turn all sloppy...
lazily prone to heave: third party
slobbering leftovers of ****-towing-curd...

i will not lend my eyes to spell out
either greek or "proto" greek via cyrillic:
it's enough to know the CZ and CH
and this loitering demiurge
phoneticism: riddle a people with
enough mammon worship:
and sooner or later the pennies just
drag: extensive as to how
copper write was invented:
two feeble scots arguing over a penny...

for the nuance of a solitary reader...
had i the fortitude of a single tongue:
a well arrived at presentation
of a universal man...
i didn't have this blockages of
bilingualism:
it's not that i "somehow" find myself
obstructed:
there's this intilled:
reflexive: pronoun compound:
as there's this reflective: my self...

the ancient 'uns speak of a selb
to masquerade an imitation throw...
i dangle my arm and
pretend there's a stone in it..
i have to gladly arrive
at this sorrow for an ongoing praise
of pursuit per se:
i can't imagine chasing ****
was ever much fun to begin with...

but when it mattered and it must have
mattered...
i weaved a loneliness to the prusuit
of staging aloofness:
which married itself to... some german...
and lately had to revised:

jetzt: now...
           hier: here...
this teutonic beer hall:
tam-da-ra-day...
       sing-along...
                          
               limbo wording when finding
awkward "squares":
the geocentric model and the loath
of patriarchy...
the heliocentric model and
the ****** crisp queen
of gynocentrism...

  today i tried to figure out
how a siamese twin could ever
overcome a sstatus symbol
of herr cain... serial killer....
i couldn't: but the image struck me as...
somewhat... belitteling and...
"sincere"...
           how impossible it was...
to ever find... a siamese killer...
beside the serial stressor...

chances are:
if i were not "culturally appropriating"
this english...
if i had questionable insight
into an antithesis of all is well:
western cosmopolitan...
french of service! please amore!

if this wasn't a shadow
of ol' *****: risky...
                risque?
  esque...
               russian: pax varshava...
              such that the sun never itches
to sleep....
aeschylus is to be mourned...
wait 2000+ years from now...
this will translate
into a paragraph of... less conjunctions
and more... punctuation markers...
i hope the diacritical marks still
retain their stature...

i speak two languages
yet it's a burden for 6 o 7...
i only speak two languages...
yet it's a "burden" that would gladly make
an affair of a dozen "creases"...
have... astounding pressure
being met with:
economical proficiency being...
exacted: as therefore stressed...

for the worth of a night arrived at...
i have to spare you...
endearing prospect of a reader..
my limit...
petting cats i fathomed inately...
for the better half of my exposed
self: churned into ***...
i was an amateaur at...

here's to me ******* a headless chicken:
trans-spaecian misinformed "..."
additionally curses never
to revise a 1950s h'american
nostalgia pillow credo...

  sleep tight sleep tired...
my most bothersome lacklustre additive
of spike and crescendo lobough'
tammy... and a led zeppelin's play
on hay-maker... with a jive of:
jai... tell me the difference...
between jai and jay...
i'm dying to know!
i'm so pristine raw and ignoble
to have to... concern myself
with these overshoots of...
why i didn't happenstance
a life... and the end result was always
to be... a riddle of walking...
employing
a pretend walking stick...
a ball and a hole...

i was blindly 'ere... scouting
for rabbits and deer
and grouse... i was 'ere limping for
a wolf to wrestle with:
i was 'ere for the gnashing of teeth!
i was never 'ere for a leisure...
a praying for comfort,
for happiness...
   i need this uncertainity pulpit:
zenith.. this long reserved crease...
like it might be: tied into a butterfly
or a "bow".
Mateuš Conrad Feb 2019
it's the outskirts of london,
it's night,
   and the fog has filled
the air
  like it's a day
from late 19th century
(of said city)... am i to succumb
to finding the globous
lights of soho
and some sort of otherwise
remnant of glitz?
i have a blank
piece...
     a vacant blank...
i'm drunk enough
to know i've been
fasting...
   i need my itchy
fingers to
make up the arithmetic
of spelling...
i figured: speaking
is too easy...
and all the freedoms
that entails...
i'm a rat needing
to find the underground...
i need to keep my snout,
sniffing out the above-ground
air of the main, stream...
like i am to identify
the stream of a river...
       i need
the wound to fester,
i have to fathom
the gangrene potential
and...
start treating the cancer
like a wait, wish, good luck,
of the cancer growth
sprouting "off" trees
in the form of viscum
(not found in trees
in western europe)...
what are you
looking at?
english society has made
me...
            one for me
to acknowledge any bad luck
or a figurative
claim of the zodiac...
  for more bad luck
acknowledgment...
i have to heave
a shadow and see
the sun cast a pawn piece
out of it...
on the chess-board
       of everyday fears...
but i'm not here for
the h'american petty
purity of a freedom
only associated with speech...
i'll show nuance,
whenever i want to will
nuance...
elsewhere...
freaky-oid examples..
   my tongue firmly lodged
in a mind worth
an expression of
absence...
     and all the heaving
cult-heart soft-spoken
riddle of the itchy finger-tips...
remains...
            poems like
crosswords...
but less associated
with an i.q. "stigmata"
of precursor thesaurus
riddling,
   and no sherlock holmes-esque
attitudes...
   what mystery was there
to begin with?
   i thought that there was
only punctuation
to mind?
        
i guessed wrong...
              you know...
come to think of it...
   dasein is almost like
ruhm...

i'm starting to suspect that
the two terms are more akin...
although...
  ruhm has more attaché
expedients to ascribe itself
to / for... perhaps even: with...

     pedantry of language
does not belong in any mainstream
expression...
      this is my baby,
my trans-gender womanhood...
i've acquired this alien tongue
from my basic
pollack beginning...
   from my: ja, polak, zawód,
zbiór, tego, tamtego i, owado...

         but of course the natives
will not inquire into this curiosity...
not having visited
alien or alienated peoples
in their full splendour,
of, say, Paris, circa 2005...

        my parasite of
my usage... and all that i gave
this tongue...
   the sought-after incubation
of merger from its
inorganic status,
to an organic fusion...

          it's as if i want
to feel... what a woman might feel
in order to serve a puncture
of a subsequent function
of: an otherwise mundane
spectacle of, checking time
on a wristwatch...

   but to entertain trans-genderism
on a scale that would
employ taqiyya tactics?
    to gamble...
    on a "thai surprise"
                            excavation?

i gave birth to this language,
in a body,
and mind,
that would otherwise
have said:

   ja dałem życie tego
    języka
    w tym ciele,
   i tym umyśle,
   które, inaczej,
by powiedziało... to.
Mateuš Conrad Aug 2020
at best: a drink and a homage to sleep -
nothing too complicated:
not allowing dreams to leave
traces of having invested in me -

i blame the cameo cinema of memory
for a lack of dreams -
then again:
i only have a bouquet of four or five
return-to memories
that i **** myself with...

        but it's all oh so un-
           -spectacular...
  everything is these days...
         because i feel: more than i think...
it's hardly an argument:
i feel therefore
            is no therefore to trickle down
toward...
an ontology detached from etymology
and subsequently from history...

everything is such a grand: devoid...
it's like... beside the nouns
there are only onomatopoeias...
there's a "wake-up" call
for those in a noon sizzle and scortch...
there's the milking of a camel
by rubbing the humb
with hands for sandpaper dust...
and there's the arithmetic
of bones:
         a rubric of the spine...
of those / i.e. things made
into a market of pickling...
cucumbers - later gherkins...

oysters... garlic K9s....
                   everything is so impossible
not because of some laziness...
but because... a be-at-a-loss...
            so immediately presented
the pressure comes of its own accord...

i'll sooner come across
a sentence with om / par /
le /              yod / -dle
                      lubi- /
                              decant... decant...

big words... yoyo...
   etymology... ontology etc.
  epistemology... bogus drawn a...
poker and a 2 + 2 = 4 is all the new
fathomed glue: and basics...

a return to... hardly...
somewhere between e. e. cummings
and will alexander...
                
  it's not because:
but there's no great awakening of a narrative
ready for a paragraph...
this alone is shrapnel logistics...
it's splinter-cell wo-wo-wording(s)...

         once upon a time grand adventure...
meat in the grinder...
a metallic-aftertaste...
   a softness of the chin after having
shaved...
and the beard...
  something i admire for my own self's
"purpose"...
like... the fiddle... of the dubious
***** afro extension:
in my hand a fiddle a bunch an
imitation / metaphor of a violin...
the fizzle of the mane stressed
toward the aid of the bow...

or the "new" invention of the
hammer and the nail...
counter: the ***** and the driver...
otherwise... the sickle...
and the wait-parody
of the chaff... autumn too late...
the first begotten
mill churns for flour...

                     the cement of a proper
stash of ****...
   a well deserved agony
of a browning of a loaf...
       a ceremony of sorts... beside...
wainbor and that pirate ship
of... cul de sac d.n.a. confiscations...
well! no more stupid than
no one knows who...

      a contradictory rubric:
science and it's contra: the aesthetic...
the 1960s and its hindu ****
and the western hangover materialism...
an isaiah berlin and
               the **** and the jig...
hence the... saw...
              
              it's still a chemical soup
of the brain in realm of psychiatry...
and those things and tender "bones"
of psychology...
em em: objective...
inclinations scarce...
          this over-worded
scholastic peacock and a gravity
guiding toward
a crux - the golgotha 1 +1 =
    and a revision upon the "thrice"...

               the better the worded
in that there must be a newly worded
vogue... a vogue of synonyms...
to scuttle... the best of the neutral:

chem. soup of the brain...
the basic fruition of the heart's
rhythmic junctions...
              
   the "leisures" of skin to contradict
a half-baked fathom of leather...
thus? to grow BALLz like
watermeHlons...
              and... count teeth like...
those "things" bound to
                be lodged into a scrutiny
for toothpicks in...
those grey-bits and shadows...
and those un-explored
clouts of brainz-it-freese...

                         hoop-l'ah!
less, concerning calling a dog a dog...
and more...
                        just ******* barking!
woof!
wo'ah!          blitzkrieg rotts-veil-ms.-eerie!

new photo-anti-objective
"reality"...
the old l.c.d. and new-hormones...
    otherwise: leash the old gorgon...
and *******... bro...

the best new transcendent...
reality...
come some old communism
of femme...
because the reality of males
and as plumbers
and the churn of rubbing charcoal...

but all those oh cherry-whipping lips!
these standards of...
my best whittle wowld
and standards...
and... octopus oogling the next
big scrutiny...
        
   again... truly objective...
the new hormone junkies
is... nothing new of the U.V.
subjective spectacular amazonian
mind-****: or call it...
p.t.s.d. from new vietnam...
because...
                new drugs... new highs...
the mind less a sponge...
and the body the old platonic
                     "it" wed itself to a grotesque
slow-roasting the gall: and the *******
and the chimney sweep...
and... uvula monobrow...

             dr. and dr.'s an 'atan...
                             thus saying...
no one is being judged...
but everyone is being trampled...
my brain's the juice...
your body is a hromonal ****...
and it just so happens...
the paratroopers of the grand
-oid are...
              lost? looters?
loitering?
sow the new normie...
                  who's to judge,
judge who... zoo-curious old berlin...
yeah...
           that's this new old ****
i have always been looking for...
no...
              no d.n.a. impropmptu forward...
chains and perv brilliant...

            hell...
this me this new becoming...
                chappie b'oh...
                      gets ***** by an ottoman...
gets ***** by a mongol
gets ***** by a chrimp wishard geijingyjingy...
cold basics within the confines
of taipei in W(oo)...

                            loot! the scoop!
no new brave...
no new old...
                ergo?
   the brave old...
              and the old brave;
nasal... nasal... umbrellas...
                     umbrellas... loitering
shadows constipated to make grip
of a shin.
.
van Gogh! van Gogh! achtung achtung!
sir, did you take time
to reflect
upon being hit in the reflexive dimension
of reality:
yes: there's the definite article that's the reflexive
and there's the indefinite article that's
reflective...
                    if there emerges a refractive article
i will let you know:
bodies! bodies! summon more bodies!
non-responsive for the demands of oratory
self-serving pleasures:
did i? mention that emoticons don't appear
to have ears? i must have...
which poem? sieve through over 7 ******* thousand?
i find myself giggling at the idea
that: well: who could, possibly: remember?!
by the book and the glitches of: future noir
or: as in passing:
to leech off time is the only measure
of being confined to this citadel of space...
this: corrupt atmospheric stench whereby otherwise
a surgical vacuum of cold beyond ice
beyond measure of ordeal: where only pockets
of composite parts: mostly geology and gas exist
spinning on a whirlwind of re- re- repeat "no rhythm"
orbit...
strangely engineered: simply to have found
orbits rather than having settled for a rising sun
and a tiding moon...
but... never mind:
                      van Gogh oh: why don't emoticons
have ears?
mind you: is that such a nuisance in the abstract
of a toddler that
we sometimes don't pull at stupid and face
puffing up our cheeks: squirming our eyes or
ogling them prodding out almost
at the promise of an escapade from
the tortures of being symbiotic with the mind...

well well: i did leave a kind: suggestion:

                   ?               !
                           . .
                         ..

  all that's missing is, a replica:

                   ?               !
                           . .            (
                         .
.


and that's: an ear          (
shoeshine shy:
moonshine bliss...
                      i am on the verge of expanding
my confined space to
alternative timings:
given that i write so vehemently and at every
willynilly opportunity:
and that i can bypass the editorial constipation
of: *** see *** ça:

conflations of rhetoric:
biodiversity is a prerequisite of nature per se:
spiders flies sunflowers...
by Jove and the jovial
monstrous motto:
i too dream about flying to Kenya or Nigeria
and becoming a hand model
or at least advertising: soap...
                      "diversity is our strength":
who's... this "our" without a "we"?

                   but sir sir! did you take time
to make the most of the opportunity to ensure
the sandbag brigade slowed down your
exit from stage so that
a fist pump could be adequately measured
and the coffin might be brought to
confiscate the Dementia Tor?

                  evil Rasp u Tin with that devilish
smile i do wonder why some
cagey democratically journalistic
phobia / aversion to will
                                        some ditto X monstrosity
of welcome opinion
or satisfying neutrality like one cannot
somehow clarify: collateral...

                  evil: well: at least it's not naive...
opportunistic: but certainly not naive
and asleep: evil: vilification of edible part
and some body...
       not this daydreaming ooh ah:
this insomniac crux
  that sometimes brings about "abuse" of sedatives
but in the meantime
a spontaneous gesture galore...

as predictable as any kind of weather:
being, unpredictable...
Oonglaand so ooh: the last prized asset
of this:
former...
            but if you're going to be a sports fan
proper you won't be a football fan
and you certainly will not adhere
to watching football drunk:
given:

by the time the 5th pint get's the kosher glug
of slit the throat by ice and carbon dioxide
fizz... from 11 v 11 idiots running on the pitch
you end up with 22 v 22 on the pitch...
how can anyone give me the fathomable
argument that sport can be enjoyed with
alcohol...
                         maybe not enough blood in
the sport(s)...

................................................
...­.............................................
...................­.............................
...................................­.............
................................................
..­..............................................

it's raining... such bliss cannot come
as readily: there was no planning involved:
July's rains in England:
i will miss them dearly...
one hurdle...

this i've seen in a dream: vaguely...
it's coming back to haunt me:

Game of Thrones: obviously i watched it
sparingly:
today i refreshed the paint in the living room
can't remember the color...
that same old, Faustian quote of a nugget
of gold in my pocket: i'm sinking..
the theme for the Night King...
haunting yet abbreviated to:
ears to a face:

   ()          no... not zodiac with cancer
walking sideways
instead Pisces afraid of the outer-world:
)(
                 immortal hands do not cite
Shakespeare: shaking the pear tree
a new serpent a Newton
sat beneath
and before the quadratic disparity
came gravity
and angels fallen
and gods as demigods fallen...

a year 0 with the advent of a Neu Demokratie...
the calendar year of celebrity culture:
best believe
to think of the dead and their unsolved
or pedagogic achievements:
i still think the curriculum could be change...
notably by the basics of
a study of biology:
how is one to: start calling NOUNS RZECZOWNIK
and the VERB CZaSOWNIK:
mianownik... etc.

          BiG TiMe...

            if not under the guise of the Niqqab...
or perhaps the Abjad...#de profundis in excelsior...
from the depths oh Lord...
make the vowels small...
keep the consonants CaPiTaL... imitation...

'WNIK... borrowed from wnikać: but there is a
unit of WNIK: inquiry point...
czas-o-
            inquiry into time: using verbs...
Polish grammar:
time-O-O-time: eternity standing like
a man and not lying like a monkey: i.e. 8...
and B that gave birth to it...

i feel sorry for the people in my life
that cared to love me:
i've written their state of being forgotten...
while i drag these rags of
the philosopher who saw the Gorgon
Medusa and plunged himself into the mouth
of the spirit Baron of Etna...
where fire and earth meet to make meat:
which is why: origins of us:
the air we to breathe: among trees...

seeing faces in things...
sclera onomatopoeia myopia...

there's no ego in the divination of consciousness:
there's no i in consciousness:
there's only the satan i...
that one that needs to get behind you
that needs to un-muddle your screaming
a pain and a scratch not really there:
ghost limb and with that:
madness and the ghost ego
ego can become fathomable from the madman's
perspective of the amputee:
ghost limb... ghost ego...
hence: shrapnel and schizophrenic voices...
whoever taught you that electron
make orbit?
aren't they quantum... quantum...
metaphysics is... or rather was...
metaphysics became conquered by the discovery
of quantum: physics...
i punctuated for a ******* reason!

god is not dead:
what is dead is metaphysics:
i give no platitude of authority
there's no governing that statement with authority:
metaphysics died because:
because Quantum Physics was discovered
and that was the death of "god" or rather ego:
the veneer of the secular trinity of
ego superego and id
without the mother-construct:
some bogus: some Chimera monstrosity
of averting our eyes from truth
a sacrele-gous: forget the spelling
i'll play dyslexic i know what i want to say!

solo piano soothing:
solo biolin? that's B in Spanish also a V
for? DAWAJ! DAWAJ!
DaWaj!
              
           quest for a despotic cure for all,
the evils of this world:
that there be a worthless priestly caste...
surely:
i thought that status in society was
non-existent: i did see through Darwinism
to the extent of deeming what
is question-worthy and what is self-answerable
and therefore defunct: swappy:
not in dire need...
not priest not churches no affiliations:
even if the Islamic Pakis think that
they are conquering anything in England:
what? the bad weather:
you have no stomach:
no matter the amount of dyslexic barrage

on Kauai: i will not listen to an ex-drug blah blah
DYSLEXIC pseudo-
let's all ******* congregate you
******* mongrel of a half pass as a Mongel:
you think?! think or "think":
Weimar will burn and give girth
to a birth of a superstar
and he'll be a failed artist and he'll be
my precursor:
my John the Baptist: ******...
and i will make this world a toy in an ear...
beside the hands...

the next ******* dyslexic **** wills
shepherding:
you... what?
there's an i in consciousness
ego: e.g. O...
who says that i have to begin to think with
iota and not alpha?
who says "identity crisis": best
i begin with omega? like upsilon is to omicron
hyperscript or downsizing in chemicals?

i spared myself jerking off for the day...
******* has become so bland...
so bland with her in my life:
i might be living in L'nd'n
another way to disguise the vowels...
imitation Hebrew:
'M SLW LRNR...

      it will take time: the Holocaust:
made to adapt...
apparently the Jesus was not the Christ...
and my idle hands have been summoned...
to clarify: caressing...
three flicking switches
and her **** juices are running: sweet...

there's no "i" in consciousness...
there's an i... but there's no: "i"...
eye: "i think":
aye: i think:
aye? aye?!
    
            faking a secular: religiosity:
where once stood: a people:
religion...
       their supposed conquest
comes with the same distopian
fervor of the Ancient Romans:
this Islamic quest to expand west...

  what idle ******* sand *******!
i call them by their best exclaimed
in Mongol territory:
idle sun-worshiping
camel-jockey
sand-                             -*******!
aRaBS!

                           no ice blue devestation
of envy: peering envy....
just the clarifying junction:
of: what wilt?!

      so much of history:
yet we have the Yeti and the botox ***
celebrity culture demands:
i did say:
is the t.v. our former self
of conversation:
akin to the fireplace?

   consciousness implies: but doesn't stress:
=,
           the fire is now the insomnia
and people have lost or rather
frail: be:
noun struct: some nouns
leaving un-availability of use...
to the t.v.

the moon shone: one day...
before it was conquered...
by bad reality day fathoms:
of this stupid everyday...

i see ice in water...
i see coal in fire...
i see air in abundance:
an absentee tree without a body...
i see faces in trees
like i don't want to see
faces in bodies...
with bodies...

              German intellect: surpassed:
but then it passed:
passed far far away...
and no revival came
and no hope, came,
and no faith: came...

came the Jew with Germanic
apologetic demands:
and that came... and... died...
and who knows...
who are the Slavic people
and why Moscow is paranoid
but it's a sign of health
to be: diligent and not so much:
a loud-mouth...
came the German with:
but we only allowed the middle-class
Jews:
who am i: are you? the pardonable
enlisted: choir?!

at least on Kauai i will not have to live with:
Jews, Muslims...
whatever the **** SPRouTS... blah...
they ******* Northern Irish Accents
of Activism:
their ******* murk of m'eh:
i don't want to be living among
people who adore PAJAMAS
in transit and fried chicken for closure...
i just: don't!

        these sectarian half Irish:
waiting to be more ******: distractions...
but i don't want to live among
Muslims!
do i: have to?
do i: have to?
           is this brain-worm of anti-racism
an escapist path do
i really have to? "you":
jaw-toss-half-baked-jew-from-******?!
seriously?

like the idea of a gorilla...
breeding with chimpanzees...
possible?
so advertise this: left-oid:
******* mess: less weaning: to not leaning?
i love races:
i abhor interracial breeding:
with: exceptions...
but to make an example:
to make a societal claim for progress?
for white girls to be given black husbands:
but at least no PAJAMA party
what the **** are we remedying by not
reading?!

so now, what am i? ******* PANAMA?
tough mess to fizz...
i'm just not that much hyped about
living with Muslims...
sorry...
i just want to get away from that Turban Party...
sorry:
if you think you can conquer the world:
believe me:
some of us would rather prescribe ourselves
the medical zenith of death
because:
living, with, you, half-baked,
stinking, camel-jockeys...
is... a *******: INSULT...
it's an INSULT to exist: per se...

                      i don't want to live in a world
of Islam, Christianity, Judaism... regardless...
i...
there's no i to be invoked:
it passes: it comes and goes...
but as an "i" for quest of "identity":
and with all the glorification of the art of acting
is somehow: a mirage?

there's the sky...
the earth...
the sun and the moon...
there are tides
and there are sinking islands...
there's the Polynesia and
there's a Lost Europe
of looking beside the horizon: of:
America:
the dictates of the Steppes
toward Asia and beyond...

i really don't want to have these sort
of neighbors who... are not even the who i ask of:
but some: mirage...
of faking: symbiotic endeavors...
clone closest...
i'd best be:
a hybrid of you-and-me...
but only you: but only me...
and that's the closest i felt:
this far apart...

           so the boa feeds: by a claustrophobic
constriction...
stand on your head
and count to 10 mummification...
if i were to simply die: the sudden: die:
without the morphing into death: a lessened
noun associating:
the only: by verb: spontaneity:
to die                           not dead:
to die: indefinitely...
not dead: not definitely:   unto the cursor of A...
without a definite to define definition of THE...

— The End —