You spoke to me again
I thought you were done visiting
But awoken, your form the cause to stir

Things have been different
Sometimes, just sometimes
I admit, the image
Of you disappears and I doubt
If you were real

Food tastes different
Trees grow strangely
People are boring

I think about
Where, or what
You are

When I died, my
Body seemed
So
Suffocating

I laughed more, at
Serious things
No pain in the
Hot or sharp

Do you live like exhaled cigarettes, silent and
Blending sick with winter breath?
I was adrift above the city
Same as smog, but heavy dropped and return
Forever, then
You must have kept on rising

Why continue to show self to
Me when there is nothing to be helped
On and gone accepted was a blessed dressing on stretched messy testing
Of mortal skin ripped many over?

Tap dancing the Morse message
On the sensitive ruby stillflow stream
That had loved you goodbye
Final

I love the nightwalks
With the ghouls and spirits
And giggling about what it
Is to be beyond

But the bond is a brain is a broken is a binding
Paper signing
To be a devil is a labor
When waging daily
War one wakes weary

I see why you don’t often
Come back but
“I will again”
Anticipation?

Tingle with the sensory tense
Of the Vanishers who
Smile in reflections half seen
And questioned
Slipping back into shadows
Of inner eyes
And thunder storms
Of the mind

Unfaithful marital transgressions
self admitted indictment,
crime and punishment,
no longer think high lee
entailing no mister re: demeanors,
I searingly weathered

(George by bushed, albeit thankfully,
no unwanted child left behind),
nonetheless one unforgettable
indelible, execrable, and abominable
professedly owned his
civil warring battle of life

transgressions undeservedly heaped
(Uriah hit about that)
(carnal feral hormonally seething
gone astray nightwalks)
woven by basket of deplorable
emotionally painful selfish object lesson

forever etched upon mine psyche
(left by one bobbing sponge -
cheeses crust station of his life
within sea of human life now
affixes moniker re: mister *****)
inflicted courtesy yours truly

said marital indiscretion (philandering)
one among many issues discussed,
during treatment plan earlier today
February eighteenth 2020
concerning complex edifice
regarding mein kampf

existential bleak house
(figuratively crowded cheek to jowl)
with and hard times
fraught with many
unattained great expectations
unwittingly accepts psychological fallout

(among kissing kith and kin,
a shellfish chicken and hen thing for sure),
despite years elapsed ex post facto
deploying, incorporating, narrating, signifying...
narcissistic, opportunistic, and phlegmatic
self incriminating doom
visualize deus ex machina

betrayal rendered adopted smugness
invariably set in motion domino effect,
whereby emotional alienation
devastation, humiliation, maturation, suppuration
(yoking impossible mission
to shuck off penitence, the price to pay),

thus rightfully, truthfully, and veritably...
ably, readily, and willingly
allowing, enabling, and providing
incomplete resolution, (hence iresolution)
thwarting rancor thy deux daughters
(livingsocial many time zones distant)
embark quest to guide their own

metaphorical maiden voyaging ships of state
countless transpired hours
at counseling facility, where poetic papa
aired and mulled over bothersome
anguish to complete requisite treatment plan
to receive psychiatric appointment
next (and last) Tuesday of February 2020.