As though
her insecurities
consumed
her entirely,
he understood
that a woman
like her
were those rare
women
whom men
only came across
once in a lifetime.
He understood
the way
a woman like her
should be
wooed,
held,
loved,
seen,
and touched.
She being his weakness
and he her strength-
they could understand
one another
without having to say
anything
to each other.
A simple glare
from either one
spoke a million truths.
How, when they held
one another,
became two souls
as one.
Enamored in their
fidelity
towards each other
and how mutual
their simplicity
drawn them together.

a winter visit is
blood to us,
collected in our thumbs, pressed together, always
distracted by
effectively knowing that which is true:
feral will never make do.
going to the space needle,
her mouth was a cowry shell that i saw in the water
in my fingers i heard the snapping of twigs
just that prickly little feeling saying
“kenna, watch the corners of her mouth”
lovely in the passenger seat
my hand quaking
ninety miles to go
oregon behind,
peppering the corridor with firs
quietly i sang watery songs
“run river run,”  “golden vanity,”
she slept with the stars sitting on her hair
then seattle waited
underneath her black dress
(velvet, from her mother)
wondering where will we stay-
she woke up. from the sky fell
zebra orchids, already dying

Back again, back again,
From what I used to be;
For all the things I made myself
To please you, you could not see.

I tried to paint the stars for you;
I tried to do it all.
But everything I did for you
In your eyes made me fall.

So today will be the last day
That I for you adorn.
Give me peace, and let me rest;
I watch for coming morn.

Let rivers wash and waters flow
And carry back to shore
Thus from you I'll send away
To find my home once more.

(c) 2018 Indigo Kenna

I don't want this written in words. Maybe if it's just in my head, it'll make it less worse.
Feels as if I'm going to burst
Head won't be silent
Thoughts turning violent
Trying not to care
Only been a few years
Tears  still build up here, but put up a shield; one big force field.
No way to reel you in, feeling abandoned up to the brim.

I got into your depth, now all I sense is death. Need a cure before my vision is blurred.  



Posted by Kenna Marie ...
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Pain is not skin deep.
Self-hate is not skin deep.
Depression is not skin deep.
Struggling to hold on to what you know is True
Is not skin deep.
Nothing I feel is skin deep,
Except sometimes affection,
And sometimes hope.

(c) 2016 Indigo Kenna

Give me an idea of how many stars there are,
And I will tell you the color of your eyes;
For the celestial bodies are innumerable,
And your eyes too much to name a shade.

(c) 2016 Indigo Kenna

by Kenna Marie*

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
Yet, people smolder every meaning of the word beauty.
Taking procedures in order to obtain this image of perfection, but it is right built inside of you. Believe it or not, whatever you need you got!
Reading this now with your eyes, heart beating to the sound of survival.

Educating yourself on how to accomplish revival because you are dead.
The laughter comes in sequences syncing perfectly to those begging for attention.
Revolt revolt!
Build a catapult to launch yourself away from here.

Lose yourself in all the sincere.
Perform a test to see if you're the best.
“You are defeat compared to the rest!”
Start to dress to impress when the isn’t up to par.
Spend days alone at empty bars.

“Dare to make a move!”
“It won’t improve you.”
“You got nothing to lose!”
“Yeah, well how about your skeleton starting a rebellion. You’re yelling, starting to tell your children the beginnings of this addiction.”

It swallows you whole, your body is totaled.
Now, you’re in the rusting pile of traveled miles of rot...
Forgetting what you are and what you’re not.

you said
you were upset
when you thought i was breaking up with you

i don't understand
because
i thought you didn't love me anymore

and
i don't know
if you were just done with me anyway

(c) 2018 Indigo Kenna

And the morning after
            is always tinged with regret;
I can see it in the sunrise before I
            open my curtains.
If only I could pretend
            that, some days, it doesn't
            keep me better company
            than my faithful lover.

© Indigo Kenna

Yes, yes, yes, it's true--
Each striking word they say:
The broken heart I had from you
Has all been washed away.

(c) 2017 Indigo Kenna

Don't tell me to open my eyes and see
When it's you who has kept me in the dark.

(c) 2019 Indigo Kenna

How do I say
It hurts
To see you gone, yet still here,
Gone from me, but present everywhere?
How do I tell you, but keep silent as you walk toward me?
How do I let you go, or is this just the dregs of moonlight
Soon to creep through my window
That's making me think like this?

What will we say to each other, old friend, when we meet again?
How will I silence the wondering of questions in my eyes?
How will I say goodbye?

(c) 2017 Indigo Kenna

It was not so much when I felt awful,
But when I felt nothing,
That I wanted to die.

And it was not so much when I felt happy,
But when I felt loved, despite all the pain,
That I wanted to live.

(C) 2016 Indigo Kenna

There's nothing left here for me.
I've lost my words--they've started to flee.
And you...and you.
You flee me, too.*

Amidst the chaos, amidst the tears,
Something stands to relieve my fears.
I don't know what it is,
But I know the work is His.

I will not fear tomorrow, the day I know you'll leave,
When waters deep will you from me bereave--
I can hold on, I know I can,
For God is all my strength, not man.

Though oceans writhe with ships to break,
And friends arise, their leave to take,
I will not fear these pains nor falls,
For Jesus is my all in all.

(c) 2017 Indigo Kenna

How can I say I want something
When I honestly want nothing?
I am empty, and full of all the things I'm
Supposed to hate
And I have no desire to make them leave.
So cut off all my limbs and let me die,
Please,
For I live no longer
From this point on.

(c) 2015 Indigo Kenna

Think of the mostly addressed,
and write down all the names;
I remember all the words
but not the pain.
Take pen and ink to
correct all the errors;
wash away dirth
with the rain.
     Drought will not last forever,
     and nor will the callousness.
     One day these words will belong to another,
     And with them, my emptiness.
For the snow fell down like rain
to turn to white what's black;
and when it's finally spring,
we will find all that we lack.
     For the earth swallowed up the dirt,
       and the sky inhaled the sighs,
       and the sea drank up the tears.

Remember: what was is no more. Look ahead.

(c) 2016 Indigo Kenna

Today
Is the day for revival,
For rain does not come except that we pray.
Today, yes, is that day that I feel so low,
But that will be every day until I die.
Yes, today I am tired,
Sniffling,
Ready to sleep,
Off on my own,
But it will always be today.
Pray now.
(c) 2017 Indigo Kenna

So,
I'll be what I am,
For to be another would be a lie.
Additionally,
And I'll put this bluntly,
I'd rather you didn't love me if it was for someone else.

My advice is,
Be yourself,
And don't be disappointed if someone leaves the person you were pretending to be for someone real. Maybe you should do the same.

(c) 2017 Indigo Kenna

Why do we love
     The people who we should not love?

Is it longing, or pain,
Or self-deception about who you are
That drives me yet to love you so?

You said goodbye so long ago,
And still I love who I should not.

(c) 2018 Indigo Kenna

Sometimes you have to shut off that one light that's been blinding you
Before you can see all the others
(of which one is particularly beautiful).

(c) 2018 Indigo Kenna

Should I
Change myself
To please you?
I could, but
What would I gain?
You never loved me anyway.
(c) 2017 Indigo Kenna

Forget the world, friends--it's gone to those who dream,
As if all these soaring depths could hold us,
As if all these dropping heights
Could pin us to the ground---
Let's fly, friends---
The world is gone.

(c) 2017 Indigo Kenna

Every time I feel this love,
I feel afraid.
I shiver, as if the dead of winter
Had crept in overnight.
But what is love,
And why does it make us cold---
Or is it the absence of love that chills us?

(c) 2017 Indigo Kenna

Your eyes are green.

Will a man permit me to say that his eyes are beautiful?

Please, hold my gaze--let me look at you without fear, so I can pretend for a moment that you see me.

What will a man say if I tell him that he is a treasure?

And yet you look away.

What will a man do if I tell him that that woman is a lucky woman?
He will know that I know that he watches her.
And he will know that I watch him, too.

I look away.

(c) 2017 Indigo Kenna

When the sun went down
Was when I found Him,
For in the darkness of night I could not see,
And for light I began to plead.

The only One who I *knew loved me,
The only One I thought could care,
The only One who brought me through,
In moments bright and bare.

Now I look, and things are different,
And I don't see the dark.
But I can't claim that I am faithful--
I sometimes think I shut Him out.

But He is our Almighty God;
I know that He can fix me.
For though the earthly sun has set,
The Son of God is ris'n.

(c) 2017 Indigo Kenna

sometimes
what is inside us
wells up
to overflow the banks of who we think we are
to show us who we really are

(c) 2017 Indigo Kenna

Did love walk quietly,
Or was it simply never there?

(c) 2017 Indigo Kenna

Words fail me, for
My eyes are wet, and
My heart is dry,
For knowing and not doing.*

(c) 2017 Indigo Kenna

The things I feel
Do not define me.
The things others expect
Do not define me.
And even this sadness,
Which tries so hard to hold on to me,
Is nothing,
So I will let it go.

(c) 2017 Indigo Kenna

If you speak more than you listen,
Like me,
Then let what you say build up the falling walls around you.

And if you are just learning to listen,
Like me,
Then let your ears guide you to those who crumble.

For it says in the good Book, it is more blessed to give than to receive.
So--what will you give?

(c) 2017 Indigo Kenna

And for the first time,
The words, "without you"
Do not cause me pain,
But give me peace.

(c) 2018 Indigo Kenna

But there is always hope,
I thought,
As she looked at me with that
motherly smile
And gave me a hug.
And even though these things have cast us down, we're not destroyed.

'Cause she was right-- it's going to be okay,
Because the dark seeps in the most
Just before the light shines.

(c) 2017 Indigo Kenna

Love is ||
Not always a choice ||
When it gets ripped away from you so fast that you fall

But sometimes
You do get to choose
To love one who is not loved
Even as once, that was you

(c) 2018 Indigo Kenna

I see you there
far away, hazy, distant
And I feel the pain that I have caused.

(c) 2019 Indigo Kenna