You stare through her broken window, with peaceful, pondering eyes.
You realize the window is not the only broken thing, in the distance, you hear a lonely lover's cry.  You move a little closer to see where her shadowy figure lies. In one hand you see smoke, as a pair of lips go in for a ****, in the other an empty bottle. The devil has no doubt played a malevolent joke. You want to yell out "No!" as she goes to cut her wrist, but your voice is over powered by a strong, thundering hissssss. From there it gets a little crazy as you stumble and tumble, things start to get hazy. Next thing you know, you wake up in bed, "where did the girl go? It feels like I've hit my head." But as you get up and look into the mirror your face turns white, filled with fear. As you look at your red wrists and the broken bottle on the ground, you find the girl you stared at through the window, is staring right back at you now.

Blink. A few times more.
Lights gain contour and shapes move.
This is me at the very beginning
Not like conception, but at the start of memory.

The floor I am sitting on
with my legs daggling over the split-level
Is hard, yet warm. Parquet is the term for it
7 years later. Floor will do for now.

A tree towers before me, flashing brightly
Causing an assault on my eyes.
I think I can eat it. The round things look
like sweets.

Somewhere in the crème-coloured lounge suite
Below my throne an equally crème, equally uncomfortable,
Equally ugly set of couches and chairs
Laze in the afternoon butter-sun.

Grubby, sticky fingers draw abstracts
In the high polish floor, and I giggle at my
Masterpiece.
Something floats into my head.

Something? No, a someone. Mom
Later to be learned. For now, loud lady.
Incomprehensible jabber and noise
Fall out her food-cruncher.

Another floatie in my head,
It makes noises, but not like mom.
Mom tries to make its noises though.
It is soft like my blankie.

Update: Mom calls it Zeus. Also, it is
A cat. Zeus plays with the candy on the tree
No fair, I want it. Zeus also uses his teeth and nails
To hurt me, but his hair and nose hug.

His tail flails and bandies about in the air
Hips swaggering at my infancy
It looks good to pull.

Hissssss.
And the cat is gone.

Listening.
Be by me.
It's all about missing out.

Glisten.
On happy, grassy edges.
Life is good, worth screaming about.

Missed. Missing.
Bliss, blessed life is remiss
of all of hope still held aloft.

****. ******.
******* about all of
the things I hold high and tight.

Hissssss.
Hissing.
Melted.
Messed up.

Gulped.
Gather it all.
Gather it and make sure.
Make sure that's it's enough.