my heart accepted defeat long before the light had left myhome
and
to know of satans sorrow was a truth that made the smallest smile i could summon a monumental victory.
alone with the ever slowing beats of my heart now completely unable to keep track of days and nights
and against the blood sky, time began to lose all intuitive wisdom.
and with the ******* of space and time came distortion.
ghouls and ghost became party guests
the foul sorts of scaly serpents and winged apparitions had gathered in rows in perfect stillness like marble chess pieces standing guard.
they seemed now like great guardians of my fragile spirit
losing hope in the home of horror
the scarlet sky now began to sound its final hurah before the life was to forsake this place. and so it stretched out its smoky hands like raven wings draping darkness over the horizon destroying the last light of what i once knew
and within was me,
accustomed to the demons devilish dance, a prisoner with no will to leave, nor any power to see beyond the tomb that felt like the only thrown i was to belong too
yep i was ******
years had passed this way, littered with tragic happenenings, broken relationships, addictions, and loss
yep i was ******
now as if by some sort of devine intervention i could feel the dry dead air come alive.the blood drenched sky had stopped shrieking and as i raised my head in relief the horizon burst into brilliant trails of flame emitting hypnotic hues of purple and blue. crackling against the dead air like gun powder a blaze
and in the swell of confusion a sort of panic gave birth to momentum giving way now to a frequency with holy resonance, that filled my flask with potent tonic, upon drinking it began driving fire back into the abandoned forges of my humanity. from the depths of self denial i had emerged without the shackles of self deception to bind me, and from the grace of gods design i knew now i was forgiven
othis poem was written to explain the dysfunction that consumed my life for years as mental illness and addictions sadly broke my spirit. and defined my sense of worth for far to long